Friend is hijacking our weekend away with her Body Shop shite

[Youngatheart00]

In a fortnights time DH and I are going away with some other friends for a weekend away in a cottage. One of my friends has recently joined the Body shop cult at home and has been pushing it any excuse she gets.

She’s now suggested the girls in the group have a ‘pamper evening’ which basically just means her trying to sell to us. Of the 8 of us, 2 have already said ‘great idea can’t wait’ and another ive spoken to isn’t keen on the products but wants to support her. I don’t want to fall out over this but I really don’t want to waste a Saturday night when I don’t agree with MLM and hate what it’s doing to my friend!!

How to approach this tactfully?

I’d say, ‘sorry it’s just not my thing so I’m excusing myself’.

I’d also resist the urge to say I’ve not bought anything from the bloody Body Shop since I was at school.

Wow, I'd go and see a film on my own. I hate being flogged to.

I didn't know that the body shop had gone down this path

I’m not liking the whole L’Oréal ‘ethics’, so you could post a relevant link on the group chat? ecosalon.com/behind-the-label-the-body-shop-against-animal-testing-campaign/

I would be completely truthful otherwise this issue will recur

I think your response is good OP and a lot more tactful than I would have been. It is really off to treat a long-planned get-together with friends as a money-making opportunity. Bleh.

@Youngatheart00

What happened with JK Rowling?

I did used to like the products too, it’s the sales tactics I object to so I now avoid it (or try my best to!) out of principle

The now Brazilian owned Body shop doesn't like women who object to being called menstruators. They targeted JK Rowling on twitter. People also don't like their Multi Level Marketing MLM Business sellling practices side hustle.

The tweet says
twitter.com/ripx4nutmeg/status/1379703954276241411?s=21

"The Body Shop (BS) has picked a natal male who IDs as a woman to talk about period shame in India, where 23 million girls drop out of school due to it. The person said they buy sanitary pads for 'excess vaginal discharge'. BS thanked them for raising awareness to 'menstruators'"

JKR and body shop
www.standard.co.uk/news/uk/body-shop-jk-rowling-transgender-row-twitter-a4465596.html

I wouldn't send that text! A MLM bot will recognise your politeness as weakness and pounce.

You do have an issue with it, so don't say you don't!

@Redlorryyellowlorryblue

I’d purchase a tube of nail cream that I like and use from her earlier in the day and go out for the evening. Supportive, productive and then doing what you want.

No. That is not being supportive. As another poster has said, it gives her the green light to pester you with her MLM shite for ever and a day until she sees the light and stops her "business".

The kindest thing anyone can do in this situation is to say thanks, but no thanks. And stand firm, because these people are told that no doesn't actually mean no, in means "not yet".

DO NOT BUY A THING OP. Busy yourself in the kitchen instead.

As other posters have said, this is really rude and predatory behaviour.
Even if you get out of it, one evening of a weekend away has been compromised. And you’re still paying for it.
I would actually pull out of the whole thing if I could get my money back. It’s not fair at all that she gets away with this.

@Youngatheart00

Thanks all for the constructive advice!!

I have a big thing about being honest and not lying (believe even small lies lead to being comfortable with bigger ones…but that’s a whole other story…)

So I don’t really want to say I’m ill or have allergies and we’ve all paid a lot for this break. I want to enjoy it!

I’ve had a text from another of the ladies in the last hour basically saying “how the hell do we stop this” so thankfully I’m not alone! It’s made me feel less guilty about moaning about it (plus all your responses on here)

I’m going to respond on the group shortly - realised that another couple had already planned to cook on the Saturday night and they are fantastic chefs so that should FINGERS CROSSED limit the time available for the ‘ pampering’ / flogging. I may even volunteer for sous chef / prep - comes to something when I’d quite legitimately rather be peeling potatoes!! So my response going to be something along the lines of “ok, no issue with doing this but we will need to keep an eye on the time as we won’t be back from (daytime activity) until 6 and I know DCs will be wanting tea / bath and then I think we are eating about half 8. I’m also a bit skint but I’ll take a quick look”

But you (and at least one other) DO have an issue with it. You’re giving her permission to carry on if you say this. You’ve got loads of stuff to stop her:

1. You haven’t been away together since pre-Covid
2. You want to chill, not try/buy products
3. This has been sprung on you, can’t she do it another day, not on an expensive weekend away?
4. At least 2 of you don’t want to do this (how many going?)
5. Body Shop animal rights are definitely dodgy since L’Oręal took over
6. It ostracises the men, you want to spend time with everyone
7. You aren’t up for spending yet more

ok, no issue with doing this but we will need to keep an eye on the time as we won’t be back from (daytime activity) until 6 and I know DCs will be wanting tea / bath and then I think we are eating about half 8. I’m also a bit skint but I’ll take a quick look”

I wouldn’t say that actually. I think that makes her request seem reasonable. Which it isn’t!

I’d say-‘If other people want to do that, that’s fine-I’ll pass though, it’s not really my thing and I’ve already spent enough money recently!’

Your reply isn't good as it still sounds supportive. I'd go with:

ok, it's not for me, but for those of you who are keen, keep an eye on the time as we won’t be back from (daytime activity) until 6 and I know DCs will be wanting tea / bath and then I think we are eating about half 8 as so and so is cooking. Can't wait!

I'd be blunt because theirs sort of thing pisses me off

"Hey all, dont mind a bit of chilling out with a face pack and a prosecco on Saturday night, but I dont plan on doing any christmas shopping at the same time. I'm deffo just wanting to relax for the evening. Pam, might be worth keeping your stocks for other purposes and we can all just bring our face products for the pamper session, then we arent using up your supplies which you could sell in the future"

If be honest with her, I hate MLMs and her jumping on this as a sales opportunity is disgusting.

It's all so horribly dated and sexist and twee couplesy. 'Ladies', 'pamper evening', men at the pub playing pool, her going with the men and when they're drunk get them to do their Christmas shopping, you staying in to peel potatoes instead, volunteering to look after you children, glasses of 'bubbles'
'Bring your wallets ladies'
'I'll entertain the kids so you ladies can enjoy yourselves'.
Have we come nowhere as women in the last 30 years?

For me it would be simple as I don't buy from the Body Shop since they were so publicly snide about JKR and gender critical stances in general.

Could that be a get out for you, OP?

@sunflowerroses and @BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz thank you!!!

I'd pre warn DH that under NO circumstances do you want any body shop for your Christmas present. The men'll be getting pumped for orders at some point too, no doubt.

@LuluJakey1

It's all so horribly dated and sexist and twee couplesy. 'Ladies', 'pamper evening', men at the pub playing pool, her going with the men and when they're drunk get them to do their Christmas shopping, you staying in to peel potatoes instead, volunteering to look after you children, glasses of 'bubbles' 'Bring your wallets ladies' 'I'll entertain the kids so you ladies can enjoy yourselves'. Have we come nowhere as women in the last 30 years?

And this ^ in spades.

Op, your response is far too kind. Be honest with her.

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

I'd be blunt because theirs sort of thing pisses me off

"Hey all, dont mind a bit of chilling out with a face pack and a prosecco on Saturday night, but I dont plan on doing any christmas shopping at the same time. I'm deffo just wanting to relax for the evening. Pam, might be worth keeping your stocks for other purposes and we can all just bring our face products for the pamper session, then we arent using up your supplies which you could sell in the future"

This is a great response.

You won’t be able to confine her sales pitch to an hour between a day out and dinner, you can guarantee.
She will have a table laid out with stuff. She will do a long pitch/demo and then spend ages allowing people to ‘pamper.’ The mugs will get sucked it and probably enjoy it and there’ll br lots of stupid giggling (even about Body Shop products!).
Your meal will go cold and get pushed back. Or worse, she’ll manage to get the meal out of the way first so she can use the rest of the evening.
They are trained about how to time manage an evening. She will have the upper hand unless more than half of you refuse to do it.

I'd be off with the guys getting pissed, fuck that boring girly shite!

i wouldn't go if one of my MLM crazed friends was planning on that I'm sick to death of it.
I was invited to dinner one evening and it turned out to be a cosy MLM evening where the "select few" she knew earned a fair bit were expected to buy her shitty candles. None of which were my taste at all. It was excruciating.
Another friend shoves body shop at me 24/7 and I just won't have anything to do with it.
I have stopped talking to them - absolutely not interested in anyones get rich quick schemes.
They have both been doing it for years and have not made any money to speak of from it.

@Justmuddlingalong

I'd pre warn DH that under NO circumstances do you want any body shop for your Christmas present. The men'll be getting pumped for orders at some point too, no doubt.

This!

Be firm with her, otherwise it’ll become something she’ll plan for every get together you have forevermore!