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Could you have your in laws live with you?

150 replies

Couldyouhelpme · 07/11/2021 13:12

Just that really. Do you think your relationship with your OH could survive?

OP posts:
pinkblood · 07/11/2021 13:13

God no.

Larryyourwaiter · 07/11/2021 13:14

Hahahahahahahaha

No

custardbear · 07/11/2021 13:14

No, it would be dreadful, probably foe them as well as us

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 07/11/2021 13:14

I don’t think my relationship with dh would be the problem - he would find it harder than I would.
I would go bonkers though, even though I am very fond of mil.

DramaAlpaca · 07/11/2021 13:15

NO!

But having my own parents to live with me would be even worse,

TreaslakeandBack · 07/11/2021 13:16

In the same house no it would consider a granny flat/ annexe situation.

ParkheadParadise · 07/11/2021 13:16

No
I get on ok with my inlaws BUT I wouldn't want to live with them.

Ilikewinter · 07/11/2021 13:17

Absolutely not!

DustyMaiden · 07/11/2021 13:17

When the question became can I put MIL with dementia in a home, she lived with me.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 07/11/2021 13:17

Depends on how big the house is! Current 3 bed? No way. Buckingham Palace? Yes.

Quickchangeartiste · 07/11/2021 13:18

Never going to happen.

It was one thing DH & I agreed before marriage, having both lived with elderly grandmas and watched our mothers ground down by it.

CookieMumsters · 07/11/2021 13:19

Yes, absolutely. My in laws were blessed with the ability to mind their own business.

My own parents? Not a chance.

ChardonnaysPetDragon · 07/11/2021 13:19

No, there's not enough space under the patio for all of them us.

RainbowConnection1 · 07/11/2021 13:19

Absolutely no way. We'd be separated within a month.

Holly60 · 07/11/2021 13:19

I would have considered very close by if they had wanted, but only if they had also had their carers. I wouldn’t have minded being close by for company and for DH to do odd jobs etc but no way would we have been carers

Abraxan · 07/11/2021 13:20

Not long term no, despite having a great relationship with my parents and with dh's mum.

MIL moved in with us for 3-4 months during the first lockdown. FIL was very ill and died in the first couple of weeks of that lockdown, and was in hospital when it started. We couldn't see MiL left at home, in isolation and lockdown, so she moved in with us.

Whilst it was fine, our home didn't feel 'right' - I don't think anyone was fully relaxed, partially due to the circumstances but also because our home didn't feel like our own for a while, and equally for MiL she must have felt less relaxed as she wasn't at home.

After lockdown and when she finally went back home, a gradual process, I think we all felt much better. She was back home and able to see all of our friends, and out home was back to being our own again.

It didn't really affect mine and dh's relationship - so much other stuff was going off at that time anyway, so nothing was particularly great for any of us. But it didn't make it worse.

We did what needed to be done at the time. However, we all know that we could never have done it long term, for all of our sakes.

mrsmoppp · 07/11/2021 13:20

I don't even like them visiting - not that they do , so a big fat no from me

Bluntness100 · 07/11/2021 13:20

God no, and I’d not have my parents either. No way no how.

Insert1x20p · 07/11/2021 13:20

Kind of depends. Could she live with us? Yes. She's not an annoying or demanding woman. Would I take on significant carer responsibilities? No. I'm too busy, she would hate it and it would be weird.

GodspeedJune · 07/11/2021 13:21

@DustyMaiden

When the question became can I put MIL with dementia in a home, she lived with me.
Slightly different, but we moved my DGM into my parents home when she was receiving substandard care in a home. My Dad loved having his MIL there with them.

Couldn’t live with the in-laws now but would do in the future if a care home was the other option.

TeeTotaller1 · 07/11/2021 13:22

Hell no
I had them stay for 24 hours a few Christmases ago
That was enough

Badknitter · 07/11/2021 13:23

@Larryyourwaiter

Hahahahahahahaha

No

This
RandomUsernameHere · 07/11/2021 13:26

Not in a million years. I couldn't even live in the same city. I mean with MiL, FiL is actually ok.

Couldyouhelpme · 07/11/2021 13:27

Some of these responses have really cheered me up! Grin I don’t feel like a total gremlin for struggling now. Relationship with my husband is now becoming affected due to him letting them get away with everything.

OP posts:
WakeUpLockie · 07/11/2021 13:29

Absolutely not. Can barely survive a lunch.