Could you have your in laws live with you?

[Couldyouhelpme]

Just that really. Do you think your relationship with your OH could survive?

Noooooooo! And not my parents either!

Yes. Culturally, we look after our parents.

Although judging by some of the IL posts I see on here, I can understand not wanting to have them. But I have a good relationship with my PILs because we are taught to teach elders with respect and they are not toxic.

MIL lived with us for 2 years before her sudden and rapid decline in health led to hospitalisation and then a carehome. I think for it to work well depends on having your own spaces and social lives.

NO way

One of us would be in prison and one of us would be in a box haha so not going to happen.

I thought I could and then I did live with them and now our relationship has gone from extremely close to very soured. Hasn't effected my relationship with husband though as he is obviously united with me.

Slightly different but I lived with my FIL while we saved a deposit. Had no idea until we moved out how ill it had made me. He’s a difficult character.
I think I could live with MIL at a push but not her partner. We’d need our own space though.
My parents I reckon I could separately but not together which is interesting considering they are still together!

@DramaAlpaca

NO!

But having my own parents to live with me would be even worse,

This is where I stand as well.

Nope! Never! Not a chance in hell! Think DH would be first to leave mind!

I don’t think I could live with anyone other than my husband and kids. I most definitely would not live with my parents/in laws.

@Couldyouhelpme

Just that really. Do you think your relationship with your OH could survive?

It barely survives a visit every six months for an afternoon

Oh and I'd rather be single than live with my mil

Oh yes. I never knew my father in law, he died before me and my husband met but my mum in law was so amazing. I loved her deeply. I would have lived with her in a heartbeat.

My mum otoh is foul. I would never inflict her on him. I don't have much of a relationship with her beyond token hello texts now and again.

Christ no!

Noooooooooo

If we had lots of space, maybe. They can be annoying but they are good at boundaries and would be open to having a conversation about what was and wasn't ok.

I would prefer them to my own parents. I honestly think I would go mad if I lived with my mother.

@NovemberRain2

Yes. Culturally, we look after our parents.

Although judging by some of the IL posts I see on here, I can understand not wanting to have them. But I have a good relationship with my PILs because we are taught to teach elders with respect and they are not toxic.

As much as I admire that, the reality is toxic people have children. There is no test you take before procreating, and being a parent sadly doesn’t change you miraculously into a nice person. Personally I will respect my elders until they have proven to me that they are not to be respected.

I think the flip side of parents living with you is sadly a lot of couples live in poverty, they can’t afford to house themselves and then they have kids they also can’t house, and family have to step in a home them, with the government providing benefits so they can survive , so it’s the opposite scenario, the adult kids having to live with parents due to poverty.

I very much doubt any of those parents felt it was fabulous either.

I live with them. But they have an annex/lower ground floor to themselves. We do disagree sometimes but on the whole during COVID the thought of them living in an American care home (MIL has respiratory issues) filled me with utter horror. We are Asian but they didn’t culturally expect to live with us and I think were a bit shocked when we asked them to. Both DH and I agree that it’s been a good decision.

Marriage would survive but it wouldn't work for us.

No chance.

I'd like them to be in the same town as us (I think they'd calm down a bit when it comes to the children) but certainly no closer than a 10 minute drive away.

My parents could probably live in an annexe on our property, but they know how to stay the fuck out of our business. They live in NZ, however, so I don't have to seriously contemplate this one.

As Frasier Crane once said - I would rather a tarantula laid eggs in my ears.

Good lord no. They live next door to SIL and she deserves a medal IMO.

Hard NO

It'd be fine. Pretty soon, I'd be in prisoned they'd be dead or living in my house so it would only be for a while!

They're millionaires and will pay a nurse I feel for whoever that poor person is that'll have to listen to them complaining