Could you have your in laws live with you?

[Couldyouhelpme]

Just that really. Do you think your relationship with your OH could survive?

I have an adult DC currently living temporarily at home, we all get along just fine, and that's hard enough, purely because they've had their own place long enough to develop routines that are very different from ours.
ILs are a whole other world of strangeness, of super-early rising and frantic constant cleaning of everything, and putting away books that you're in the middle of reading because you put them down to make dinner... I've said I could live with it if necessary, though, if it came to it, but DH says he can't.

And would it be different in principle and practice if it was your side of the family living with you rather than your in-laws?

if you mean as a permanent "until they die" situation then no fucking and way.
I don't know if our relationship would survive but there would be serious damage.
we lived with them in their house for 9 months and I still have flashbacks and get triggered (I swear I have some mild form of PTSD and that's no joke).
they wouldn't want it either.

but "in-laws" is a red herring.
I wouldn't want anyone to live here as a forever arrangement; not my mum or sister & fam or anyone.

my mother lived with us for about a month. that was enough - trying to balance work and looking after her was a nightmare (despite having carers) - having to break off during work calls to see what she wanted which could range from anything between needing the toilet to wanting to change channels on the TV. She woke us up during the night (husband had to drive long distances with little sleep and kids had key exams at that stage).

And of course there was no privacy; and you couldnt go out for any length of time in case she had fallen over or needed the toilet. It was like being a prisoner.

Nope.
Never.
Dealbreaker.
And tbh I think DH feels the same about my parents.
MIL is coming to visit us for 3 weeks after we haven't seen her for more then 2 years.

MIL lives 3 doors down. It's perfect. because it means she never stays over

God no.

No no no no no.

No

No, but as someone above said, it's not just because they're in-laws.

I'm an introvert and woudn't cope well with anyone permanently living in my space except my own husband/ children.

I'd cut my own throat before I had DM to live with us.

I live with my DS and DiL because they would never have been able to get on the housing ladder otherwise. I sold my place and bought a big house with a granny annexe and my own front door.
I work, DS works from home and DiL doesn't work as she has a chronic health condition. We've totally separate lives and they come over to see me more than I bother them.
This way they are able to enjoy life with a tiny mortgage, work part time and live a happier life all round. Before they were working full time had massive rent and bills and no free time.
We have very strict ground rules. No dropping in without texting first, no taking sides etc and we all get on. It works for us.

Relationship wise it might be ok but no on the basis that MIL has so much stuff they’d never fit into our house

No fucking way. Luckily DH would totally agree. MiL lives over 4hrs away and she can stay there

Never under any circumstances.

Never. MIL is very interfering.

One of the hundreds of perks of being divorced is that this will never be a consideration.

I couldn’t live in the same county as my MIL, never mind the same house.

@Annonnimoouse42

I'd cut my own throat before I had DM to live with us.

I also could not live with my mother.

FIL & his wife? I'd sooner live in a wheelie bin.

MIL in a heartbeat.

Yes - I think we might be a bit messy for them, but I stayed with them before and they would be welcome to stay with us (as would my parents).

MIL moved in with us. She’s nearing 90. She has the annexe (bit like a studio flat with small bedroom added).
She’s due back from her Sunday swim soon, she’ll be wanting a sherry to warm up no doubt. Plus she’ll be wanting to watch the end of Squid game tonight too.
I totally adore her.

A bit different but dh and I lived with his mum and stepdad as we saved to totally renovate a flat we had bought. We ended up having our first 2 children while we still lived there!
They are wonderful people to live with, very loving and caring, we ate together, took it in turns to cook, dh and his mum are both excellent cooks, his stepdad and I… well we could both put a meal on the table but let’s just say we weren’t the favourites
They have a big house, we had our own bedrooms, bathroom and little front room, we didn’t spend much time together in the evenings like we didn’t sit and watch telly together etc but at the time they both still worked full time and had active evening social lives outside the house so we were not often all home of an evening.
I think if we needed to we could live with them again no bother. Lovely people.
I could never in a million years live with my mum.

Not in a million, billion years😂

@maddiemookins16mum your MIL sounds amazing!

I could, but would hate it

No chance!!!! No room for her broomstick