Could you have your in laws live with you?

[Couldyouhelpme]

Just that really. Do you think your relationship with your OH could survive?

No no no no no. Out of our 4 parents I think the only one we could get away with is my mum, and even that I would rather avoid!

No. It would drive me and DH crazy.

Worse nightmare, and no I don’t think a relationship would survive easily at all with parents or in-laws living with you. Just no.

No. Nope. Never. No way.

Lived with in-laws for 3 years before buying our flat and we are still married so yeah. Still close to MIL, we meet every week.

But I must add that while I lived with ILs for 3 years, i don't think I could now cos I have a huge hamster cage which i don't think MIL would take very kindly to.

No way. I love my MIL but she's deeply religious and very traditional. I am not. 😄

It would be a disaster and she would be very judgmental about all the 'women's work' my partner does.

I wouldn't be able to swear.
Come home horribly drunk.
Watch what I want on telly.

Basically it would be like being 15 again.

No, mainly because my DH wouldn't cope with it as he loves his mum but they clash a lot. No to my mum too though as again, we have a much better relationship when we have our own spaces.

I could if I had the space, we lived with them for 4 weeks whilst waiting to move into our house and we had the best time 🤣

Not MIL, Fil possibly. A fortnight's holiday with MIL made me so ill it took months to recover properly. Thankfully DH feels the same.
I could live with DM but not DF - bad childhood there.

GOD NO.

I respect MIL, who brought DH up as a lone parent with significant mental health problems stemming from her own traumatised childhood and has overall done an amazing job with him, but she is HARD WORK. She doesn’t have boundaries and doesn’t like me much - she cried when drunk the night before my wedding because DH was going to have a wife and there wouldn’t be room for her any more. The kicker here is that not only were we living together with a child of our own, but he had been married before!

I wouldn’t struggle so much to live with my mum but I can’t imagine where we would go - she lives by the sea and adores it, and I like hilly little rural villages.

Absolutely not
When I married dh we both wrote a list of things we were not prepared to put up with. Living with in-laws was one of them.
I don’t mind helping them financially , but to live with us long term….no
I have seen so many marriages fall apart when in laws moved in.
A friend of mine had her elderly PIL live with her for years. To make it worse she had to do a majority of the care as her dh thought that it was woman’s work. The irony was that MIL never liked by friend and tried to dissuade her son from marrying her

We live in Australia... My MIL lives on one side and we live on the other. I just checked the distance. Even got google to translate to miles for you. Approx 2796 miles. Not bloody far enough. Do you feel better?
Meanwhile....
Do you have comprehensive home insurance? Can you go away for a couple of days? ArsonistsRUs?

if it was just MIL for a set period pf time possibly - my parents FIL just no.

We've had prolonged contact in past and MIL isn't as daft as she often makes out know space is needed and if both she and I are on best behavior it's okay - that's hard to maintain long term though and as perimenopause hits me I'm less and less inclinded to tongue bite and as kids get older and start to move out they'd be less incentive for MIL to play nice.

They'd be issue with the pets we have and I think even DH would find it too much - as he frequently snaps at her when they stop over now.

No I wouldn’t have them live me me because they have never lifted a finger for us or our DC and I don’t owe them anything.

If my DH moved them in, he’d leave all the work to me. Having them live with us is a dealbreaker for me.

I have given this some serious thought and have come to the conclusion that this is not only a cultural thing but also a disrespect thing. It may also be part of his culture, or simply his family culture - regardless - it’s not going to change. You’re never going to be heard or seen as a partner in this marriage. You need to get out before this baby’s born.

No chance. Not my parents nor in-laws.

If my mil was alive, yes.
She had cancer and my oh lived with her and cared for her for 3 years. I stayed over 3 nights a week for those 3 years and I'll cherish everyday I got to spend with her.

I only knew her for that short amount of time but she took me in as one of her own and I love and miss her so much

My FIL and step-MIL? Yes, if we had plenty of space. They're both really nice people. My late MIL? Not in a million years!

Yes my MIL is lovely and is definitely the type to not interfere, she is too considerate at times.

Hell to the no. And mil sadly passed away years ago so it's just FIL. He is very annoying

Mine were next door until they died. It was lovely. Really miss them.

No, no, no, no, no....no

I'm from a culture where its normal to live with your inlaws but it's not for me and my mil is controlling so l would be told how to live in my own home. I just can't even envisage a time where l would ever be okay with it.

We had my MIL live with us in our sitting room for 3 months on end of life care.

I would do the same for any other parent. She wasn't the easiest person and made enemies, I do miss her though.

No, zero chance. My in laws would struggle with us and vice versa. Same for my mother, especially as my mother doesn’t understand compromise.
With your updates of your in-laws lounging round and being messy then hell no!