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Struggling to understand Dniece and DD 's feelings against supporting Movember

157 replies

thecatmother · 06/11/2021 13:07

Dniece is visiting this weekend and was telling us last night that herself and a number of female colleagues had been against celebrating Movember at their office due to the recent events (metoo, kidnapping, murders). My DD thinks the same, basically no need to support or celebrate any male related causes due to what is happening in the world.
I am so saddened by their extreme outlook. They both have very warm and loving relationships with their fathers and grandfathers , and they both admit that one day they want to get married.
My explanation that the world was very similar when I was their age , if not worse (the 90s), did cause a bit of a heated discussion.
I am not getting this hostility, especially from 2 rather privileged young women: they have good jobs, had good education, have supportive families, big groups of friends...things that a lot of people do not have. I did get a little cross with them, and suggested instead of being so unwavering in their opinions to go and volunteer for a day in a hospice and meet the people who would benefit from them supporting Movember.
Am I too old, too harsh? Probably both! Apologies for the rant.

OP posts:
saraclara · 07/11/2021 13:49

Live= love

AccidentallyOnPurpose · 07/11/2021 13:51

@Tailendofsummer

No, it says her (the niece) and a number of female colleagues have been against celebrating (sic) Movember in their office. That's not the same as simply choosing not to donate.
How do you celebrate a charity? You donate or wear their stuff or raise awareness. Choosing to not get involved is not celebrating it. That's allowed. They chose not to donate. They're allowed to do that.
AccidentallyOnPurpose · 07/11/2021 13:52

@saraclara

herself and a number of female colleagues had been against celebrating Movember at their office due to the recent events (metoo, kidnapping, murders). My DD thinks the same, basically no need to support or celebrate any male related causes due to what is happening in the world.

Again, will someone please tell me what's rational about this stand?

A few men are rapists and murderers. So these young women have decided that no men should expect them to tolerate a programme which raises awareness of men's cancers. And they are actively being negative about it in the office.

It makes no logical sense to me. It really doesn't.

Tolerating is not the same as getting involved. They don't want to get involved.
Pumperthepumper · 07/11/2021 14:00

@saraclara

And we know they’re not anti-men because they don’t have a problem with Father’s Day.

We've been here already. They don't have a problem with fathers day as they see it directly about their own fathers.

Movember is about men in general, and presumably they have no men that they live who have prostate or testicular cancer. So it's just an 'all men' thing to them.

You don’t know that though, that’s your guess. None of the other events are fundraising, you could just as easily say they don’t want any fundraising in the office.
BoredZelda · 07/11/2021 14:11

Again, they didn't say that they didn't want to donate. They're saying that they resent the event happening at all. Apparently men don't deserve an awareness and fund raising project, as a few of them are rapists or murderers.

Again, people can choose not to support a charity for whatever reasons they have, whether you agree with it or not.

At least they have a reason which is important to them and don’t just refuse to support because they don’t fancy it.

BoredZelda · 07/11/2021 14:15

So these young women have decided that no men should expect them to tolerate a programme which raises awareness of men's cancers. And they are actively being negative about it in the office.

Which is no different to the outspoken men who decide the #metoo movement is stupid. Or the majority of men who choose not to call out low level sexual harassment, or the fact that any single issue about women is met with “what about the menz” But for this one, we are supposed to care about #notallmen? I mean, I understand their argument. I don’t agree with it and have different reasons for thinking Movember is stupid, but I understand their argument.

MissyB1 · 07/11/2021 17:57

@BoredZelda

Again, they didn't say that they didn't want to donate. They're saying that they resent the event happening at all. Apparently men don't deserve an awareness and fund raising project, as a few of them are rapists or murderers.

Again, people can choose not to support a charity for whatever reasons they have, whether you agree with it or not.

At least they have a reason which is important to them and don’t just refuse to support because they don’t fancy it.

It wasn’t about them supporting or not supporting, it’s their resentment at the event being held. And of course their total misunderstanding that it was somehow tied up with attacks on women 🙄🙄
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