Keep me company a while and chat idle crap? A hand hold please

[bloodywhitecat]

DH has cancer, we know he is for palliative care only but he has been doing well (until his most recent scan showed some growth on an existing tumour and some new ones in his liver). His care has been crap, he hasn't seen a doctor in a year, all his appointments have been by phone.

Last week he developed a pain in his calf, and it hasn't got any better. Yesterday I complained to a lovely nurse at our surgery. I said I felt completely alone and failed by the whole system. I also mentioned the pain in his calf and said I was worried about a DVT. Within 10 minutes I had a call to say the GP wanted to see him ASAP. They did a blood test at 4.30pm and today we had a call to say his D-dimer is raised so he is now on his way to hospital.

I feel so alone. I have no-one to turn to. Macmillan have been fucking useless. Friends have pulled away as we seemed to be doing OK and DH has survived his original 6 months prognosis. I don't want to worry my kids, DD is a teacher and can't just come here at the drop of a hat and I would rather poke my eyes out with a blunt poker than tell my mother. I am trying to keep a smile on my face because the babies are still awake but inside I am shit scared this is the start of the decline for DH.

Tell me your dull news, good or bad?

He got home at 3.30am after he asked what the hell was happening. Turned out everyone thought someone else had seen him and that he had been started on blood thinners as his D-dimer is still raised and some of his other levels were out (one to do with the heart).

This morning he has had a phone call to ask why he's not in hospital.

Honestly you couldn't make this shit up!

Dot woke at midnight, crying. Hasn't done that for weeks, I think teeth are playing a part.

Small is resisting all attempts to get his top on today, he is at that age he hates being dressed.

so they essentially just ignore him?
fuckin' hell.
such incompetency. don't they have a way to communicate and coordinate?

so is he going back today?
did you sleep at all?

poor Dot.
we used to use Dentinox gel but it isn't available from supermarkets anymore. I had to bulk buy 6 tubes 🤬, still got 5 unopened - I can pop one in the post tomorrow if you need.

BWC I remember your original thread. I'm so sorry everything is utter shit. One foot in front of the other I guess, sending you warm wishes and strength.

I live up in the Wolds, north of the Fens! It's very chilly up here in the hills and valleys today. I'm feeling a bit crap, some sort of cold I think and I had an upset stomach last night. DH is complaining of a headache, we have such a shitey lifestyle - I've just ordered us a blood pressure monitor! Maybe we should do an LFT each...

This week our dog ate a shit load of meat when he is intolerant (allergic?) to meat proteins - he got into a rubbish bag. I waited expectantly for volcanic eruptions with puppy pads, rubber gloves and a hose at hand, but he sauntered around like a fat greedy bastard for a day, expelled a turd the size of Jupiter and otherwise didn't react at all. WTF, he's been eating a super expensive hypoallergenic diet for nearly a year, the little fraud. This is him up in them thar woldy hills.

Bloody hell. DD and I on train into London. Can’t bear an Upper Crust almond croissant
on a freezing cold station platform. Her list of where we need to go is a polyester nightmare. Will insist on Selfridges as our last stop.

Ock, I love a Border. Dogs with cat personalities. Brill.

Sorry for the shitshow hospital and sad Dot. I used to use this tooth oil on my two, nearly ten years ago. Punkin Butter was the brand I think. As far as I remember it was mostly clove oil with some peppermint in. Both the smalls used to love having it rubbed on their guma and were always soooo much happier straight away. Clove oil is weirdly numbing.

I had an unexpected massage today when a friend couldn't make her appointment. I have slightly oily hair and am very happy because I've finally discovered a therapist in my area who's actually good.

He has finally been scanned and no clots seen. He hasn't been seen by his oncologist but the doctor he did see said it might be a side effect of chemo. He finished chemo 5 months ago. I feel unhappy with the answer but DH is raging. He's been pushed from pillar to post again today and ignored. Once he is home and has had chance to chill out a bit I am going to suggest we find out about his options for further treatment. He feels they have written him off, he knows he's palliative but at the moment he is really well and he feels they are not doing their best to give him as long as possible while he is well.

That is one cute Border! Our lad is half Springer/half Kerry Blue, we like to call him Shitbag a Springier.

@bloodywhitecat that's awful
Once you've both had a have to calm down it may be worth contacting pals and putting in a complaint about the lack of care and support he's receiving.

I am so sorry to hear that your husband is poorly and the hospital are doing sweet FA to help him.

If you want some truly mundane news:

My bath overflow drain broke this week which means I can't have a bath of more than about 5cm before the damn thing drains all over the bathroom floor and through the kitchen ceiling. As my body is rather successfully attacking itself at the moment (probable rheumatoid arthritis) and things are more than a bit sore, a bath is kind of essential.

Well I have just had an amazon delivery. A bath overflow sealer. It sticks on with loads of rubber suckers and promises a decently filled bath. DH doesn't know yet but he is taking the kids to the local trampoline place it's a hellhole and then to pizza hut for tea. While I have an outrageously bubble filled bath with the expensive bubble bath I have hidden. No-one knows about the big bar of whole nut I have hidden in the box of bran flakes either which is MY tea.

Hi OP.

Please please contact PALS with a brief overview of the issues you have faced and say that you would like to speak with his treatment team urgently.

Sorry you're going through this.

Hand squeeze from me.

My dull news is putting inna formal complaint to my gp today. I was at hospital at 11.30 and the Dr I saw told me to complain, so i asked to talk to my practice manager. I was told to email her instead so I did. I think they might regret saying that as now I have complained I will not be repeating myself.

Its horrible being dismissed and ignored. To be heard unfortunately sometimes means making it formal

[quote HerRoyalWitchyness]@bloodywhitecat that's awful
Once you've both had a have to calm down it may be worth contacting pals and putting in a complaint about the lack of care and support he's receiving.[/quote]
I second this.

In mundane news here, underemployed ex-student DS has made his vehicles in his newly created bus simulator game stand still when he puts the brakes on. Usually they slither stealthily out of the corner of the frame like a cat stealing a piece of salmon. Something to do with frame rates and spring constants, apparently.

I’ve been doing a LOT of enthusiastic nodding.

How's your day been @bloodywhitecat and husband? And babies?

He has just gone out to collect a takeaway and a bottle of red (I am sure he shouldn't drink wine but his surgeon told him to have a little of whatever he fancied, including alcohol so he is).

I lost my purse while loading the buggy back into the car after our dog walk, I didn't realise until a lady knocked on the door and handed it to me a couple of hours after we'd been home. I was so shocked I didn't even think to ask her name so I can thank her properly. I was just so grateful to have it back (I did thank her but feel I haven't thanked her enough if that makes sense).

We are going to complain to PALS, he is also thinking he might want to transfer his care as the trust is gone.

The babies are amazing. Small has been trying to say DH's name today, Small idolises DH as he always takes him out on the swing when he gets in from work. Small sat next to Dot today and 'read' her his favourite story which involves smashing his face into the mirror on the last page and squealing loudly at himself. Dot found it highly amusing.

@Lancelottie

In mundane news here, underemployed ex-student DS has made his vehicles in his newly created bus simulator game stand still when he puts the brakes on. Usually they slither stealthily out of the corner of the frame like a cat stealing a piece of salmon. Something to do with frame rates and spring constants, apparently.

I’ve been doing a LOT of enthusiastic nodding.

The images of those buses made me laugh, thank you. And yes, of course the all important spring constants whatever they are!

Very dull, but we are going to dinner for Thai with friends and I decided 8pm was too late as my stomach thinks it's an hour later! Compromised at 7.30.

Sending handholds and hugs

Sending you a huge @bloodywhitecat. I'm really sorry you're going through such a lot.
I've just tied some socks around my dog's ears because he's been shouting at the fireworks. He looks completely ridiculous but it seems to be helping. He's also had CBD oil in cheese!
I'm eating crisps and contemplating a G&T 🍸

@bloodywhitecat I hope you are having a better day. I'm sat in my jammies pondering why the telly is so crap at the moment, and wishing that Succession could be in every night. I tend to think Have I Got News For You has really jumped the shark.

Enjoying the thread and wishing you well op
I had a Waitrose delivery today - twelve chocolate and hazelnut puddings to see us over the winter and a bottle of Prosecco to qualify for a free delivery

I'm glad he's home & you've got a plan

I've been taking up carpet & grippers, by the way. Interesting dust, fluff, grit & the odd fag end.

[quote Bookridden]@bloodywhitecat I hope you are having a better day. I'm sat in my jammies pondering why the telly is so crap at the moment, and wishing that Succession could be in every night. I tend to think Have I Got News For You has really jumped the shark.[/quote]
@Bookridden dh and I tried Succession but wasn't that enthralled by the first episode. Is it worth persevering?

I'm currently shredding paper in my news of the day. I have walked the dog and run though.

Good luck with your plan. Today I did some marshalling at the local parkrun - got me out of bed much earlier than I'd normally manage on a Saturday. Then this afternoon I filled the green bin with leaves off my little front garden. All the leaves were from the monstrous tree that grows on the street outside my house. Not my tree. I eyed it resentfully the whole time, because it is still full of leaves and is just waiting for me to turn my back before dumping another binfull.

@SunshineCake1 YES YES YES It is wonderful TV and the hype is completely justified.

Thanks @Bookridden. I'll see if dh will give it another go.