Keep me company a while and chat idle crap? A hand hold please

[bloodywhitecat]

DH has cancer, we know he is for palliative care only but he has been doing well (until his most recent scan showed some growth on an existing tumour and some new ones in his liver). His care has been crap, he hasn't seen a doctor in a year, all his appointments have been by phone.

Last week he developed a pain in his calf, and it hasn't got any better. Yesterday I complained to a lovely nurse at our surgery. I said I felt completely alone and failed by the whole system. I also mentioned the pain in his calf and said I was worried about a DVT. Within 10 minutes I had a call to say the GP wanted to see him ASAP. They did a blood test at 4.30pm and today we had a call to say his D-dimer is raised so he is now on his way to hospital.

I feel so alone. I have no-one to turn to. Macmillan have been fucking useless. Friends have pulled away as we seemed to be doing OK and DH has survived his original 6 months prognosis. I don't want to worry my kids, DD is a teacher and can't just come here at the drop of a hat and I would rather poke my eyes out with a blunt poker than tell my mother. I am trying to keep a smile on my face because the babies are still awake but inside I am shit scared this is the start of the decline for DH.

Tell me your dull news, good or bad?

Going to put the wood burner on

A hand hold for you here. I have spent the whole day outside. The farrier came at 11,shod one horse and trimmed another. The third didn't need doing so celebrated by removing her stable door from its hinges. Dd1 then took her horse to be clipped by his old groom ( he's come down in the world to us,no groom here),whilst I went to work to pay for the sodding things. I came home after working in a customer's garden for 3 hours,to do hay nets in the barn,then helped the DDS to take 9 nets,plus 3 teas down to the field in the dark. I failed to mend the stable door,so removed it to a ( hopefully) safe place where none of them can injure themselves. I'm now eating leftovers for tea and slowly defrosting.

I fostered amazing babies some years ago. So rewarding when they develop better than was predicted for them.

So sorry OP about your husband's lack of care. I'm in a similar position with my husband too.
Today I put a kilo of pollen fondant into my beehive for the bees to eat over winter. I tried a bit myself and it was quite nice! I then did 2 loads of laundry and hoovered round.

Lots of love to you and your family. Massive congratulations on your boys’ first steps.

It’s bloody freezing here these last few days, so I’m already in bed before 8 (1 hour ahead here). But that means yet again for the third night running i can’t be arsed to go outside onto the balcony and watch the aurora. Even though i love the lights, im knackered and cold. But i’ll regret it in the morning.

Both my kids are asleep, my DH is snoring after his usually cocktail of lithium, quetiapine, olanzapine, stilnoct and orforil. He is due to go for inpatient treatment next week to finally get him stabilised.

Tomorrow evening i will spend 2 wonderful hours with my lovely Russian trainer who is training me in combat sports. I sweat loads and laugh loads in those 2 hours, its how i get my spirit back.

I have pizza and chocolate milk ready for my kids Friday treat, plus a bag of Smash! Which is a proper surprise for them. Smash! is a cone shaped crisp like a bugle and covered in chocolate. My worst nightmare, but these Norwegians love it.

I’m also watching some crime thing on netflix, i want to watch hbo nordic but i can’t remember the parental lock code.

Have a hand hold. I'm so sorry you're DH has been treated so badly and that life has been so tough for you both.

Your baby sounds fab. Clear post it notes are the best thing I've ever heard of - I am a stationery fanatic and cannot believe I didn't know they existed!

I'm struggling with long Covid and chronic fatigue; a year in but I'm feeling ok today and I've managed to go into work for a couple of hours which is good and I enjoyed it. I made a very odd lamb curry for tea which I liked and no one else did. It involved stewing neck fillet for 7 hours with curry powder, cumin, Worcestershire sauce and honey. It felt like an odd mixture at the time and my normally unfussy DH and DS both thought it was weird and too sweet.

They still ate a huge plateful each though!

So sorry to hear this. Sending virtual hugs and a glass of plonk to steady your nerves🍷. I'm driven nuts today with my weather leg (early onset arthritis) so have been sitting chopping fruit and making Delia's Christmas cake. It'll be in the oven till late so I'll check back in later. Hope he gets on okay. Let us know how things go X

@bloodywhitecat your lovely ds sounds adorable.

I’m so sorry that this is happening to your husband and you, OP. I think you’re bloody wonderful and how fantastic is that little boy you’re caring for?!!

My news isn’t especially exciting, but I started the week with a cold and felt utterly miserable (haven’t felt 100% since booster side effects kicked in at the start of last week, and I tested on Monday when I realised it was a cold starting and not just prolonged side effects and it was thankfully negative) and today I’ve felt a bit more like me.

I’ve had two lovely long walks in the countryside behind our house with my gorgeous dog, 90 minutes through the woods first thing and then an hour on the common this afternoon. It was cold but sunny, my favourite kind of day.
I’ve also done a Home Bargains shop, I love a mooch around there.

Solidarity, op. So sorry that you and dh are going through this. I’ve been back to work with the remnants of a crappy chest infection. Was smiling earlier at year 11 cheering to see me back, and then less impressed at their lack of interest in the mock they’ve got to take. Hey ho, take the marginal gains as a win. My lovely younger boy is back from a trip to London and told me that he missed me; other lovely boy is looking forward to coming home for a rest from uni soon. ….oh and I skived off training (am on two kinds of antibiotics and went to sleep, so a minor skive). Hoping that this lovely thread is distracting you in some way.

I am so sorry to hear about all the crap you are going through.

I have lost some weight after putting some on, I have a nice secret and my dog is the cutest ever.

I was going to quit my job this week as the kids I teach are just SO badly behaved.

However this week has been better and I'm glad my HT was too busy to make our meeting that I asked for on Monday or I would have left.

Today tho one of them threw a scone at the wall during baking.

I shouted, they denied it. The scone was still stuck to the wall during his denial..... 😆 🤔

Best of luck to your family, bloody.
My mundane news is that I'm on day 3 of a 28-day pelvic floor challenge called... wait for it... Buff Muff.
Yes.

A handhold here OP. My DH was diagnosed a few weeks ago - waiting to see if it's spread from one place to the other or 2 completely different types of cancer. The waiting is agonising.

Whoops didn't mean to put !!

@Kentuckycarby

I’m so sorry you’re going through this OP

My idle chat is I have only today discovered that you can get clear (!!!) post-it notes so you can still see the page underneath.
Just have to find an excuse to buy them now but as a SAHM, I’m finding it a bit difficult to find a reason I need them

I need these!!!

A demijohn of pulled pork and 300 people? That should be fine surely

I feel the need for clear post its!

He's had more bloods taken and has an hour's wait for the result to see if the D-dimer is still high, fingers crossed it isn't. The hospital can find no record of a scan being booked for tonight.

@bloodywhitecat
Life is an absolute fucker. Can your local hospice offer better support? Ours does hospice at home along with day care.
My dull news is my stupid dog getting hysterical when a leaf blew onto his nose while we were out earlier.
Beats last months snout into a bush and the death of a baby rabbit

The hospital can find no record of a scan being booked for tonight

this is soooo typical my eyes rolled do much they hurt...
we had that with dc. turned up for scan and got turned away only to be called half an hour later (on the way home) to ask where we are as they are waiting.

I spent the morning shopping for individually wrapped snacks for an event I am hosting next week. No one wants to take a biscuit off a tray on a buffet at the moment so I am making up individual snack bags for each attendee. I got everyone a mini bag of nuts, a couple of wrapped dark choc truffle thingies, a bag of crisps, a fruit and nut chewy bar and Im going to add an apple and a clementine on the day.

Sending lots of love and hand holds to so many of you going through a similar journey to ours. And a huge thank you for all the chat, it has lifted my spirits.

Dot and Small (the names we use for our fosterlings) are now in bed. Small (18 months) loves bed. he gets so excited when I put him in his cot. Dot is just a little angel, 5 months old now and really starting to come into her own, she thinks Small is the greatest thing. Ever. She was sat in her sit-me-up ring early and Small crawled over, shimmied around and sat on her lap. She just roared with laughter.

It is almost a year since DH came out of hospital after his Whipples. He has admitted tonight that sitting alone in a waiting room waiting for the results of these bloods has really upset him. He is not the sort of person who admits that easily and he is not the sort of person that gets upset about things like that. At least we can chat on the phone.

Handhold OP. I have seen your previous threads. I wish you and your DH the very best. Well my little DS has started school nursery and has caught every bug going kindly passing it onto me and DH so 5 weeks in we are still struggling. I thought we were over it but tonight the child that never sleeps fell asleep at 4.30 and has awoken and has been vomiting all over me, the toilet and the bucket are not good enough. Mommy is .

I made my tea so spicy my nose is running and i have hiccups, I'm beyond attractive this evening

@bloodywhitecat I'm so sorry op 💐
Il share my dull news, me and dp have sorted through all our children's clothes from when they are babies to now. 2whole bin liners for charity and 8 vaccum packed to keep as we are too sentimental to get rid of it all. Now going to have a cuppa and raid the sweet cupboard

I'm sorry things are tough OP.

At work I was sat next to a child (TA) who who had to spell the word cactus. The child gave it a good go but wrote catpis instead which gave me a giggle. I love working with children they're brilliant.