Keep me company a while and chat idle crap? A hand hold please

[bloodywhitecat]

DH has cancer, we know he is for palliative care only but he has been doing well (until his most recent scan showed some growth on an existing tumour and some new ones in his liver). His care has been crap, he hasn't seen a doctor in a year, all his appointments have been by phone.

Last week he developed a pain in his calf, and it hasn't got any better. Yesterday I complained to a lovely nurse at our surgery. I said I felt completely alone and failed by the whole system. I also mentioned the pain in his calf and said I was worried about a DVT. Within 10 minutes I had a call to say the GP wanted to see him ASAP. They did a blood test at 4.30pm and today we had a call to say his D-dimer is raised so he is now on his way to hospital.

I feel so alone. I have no-one to turn to. Macmillan have been fucking useless. Friends have pulled away as we seemed to be doing OK and DH has survived his original 6 months prognosis. I don't want to worry my kids, DD is a teacher and can't just come here at the drop of a hat and I would rather poke my eyes out with a blunt poker than tell my mother. I am trying to keep a smile on my face because the babies are still awake but inside I am shit scared this is the start of the decline for DH.

Tell me your dull news, good or bad?

He's been admitted but not admitted as he's still on a chair in an assessment unit, he's still waiting to see the doctor so that has to be good news because if he was seriously ill he'd at least have seen the doc by now right?

Hi Cat,

Just read your updates - we had our first call about fostering this week and are going to put our application in soon. Small and Dot sound lovely and you will be making such a difference in their lives

I hope that's good news @bloodywhitecat . Hard to tell.

My news is I went to the 1 hour yoga at the gym rather than the 45 minutes session. I was wondering what extra stuff we would do and if it would be tiring. I needn't have worried as we spent the extra time on breathing exercises.

@MusingOnStarlight

Hi Cat,

Just read your updates - we had our first call about fostering this week and are going to put our application in soon. Small and Dot sound lovely and you will be making such a difference in their lives

Good luck, it truly is the best, but hardest, thing I have done. The application process is rigorous (for good reason) but it was worth the process.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this @bloodywhitecat . I hope the thread is helping.
In my experience (fortunately limited) of the ambulatory assessment unit the doctors tend to show up fairly quickly if it’s thought there may be a need to give treatment immediately. So yes, I’d be cautiously optimistic about the fact that he’d still waiting, though it must be pretty grim for him. Crossing my fingers that he’s not left waiting for too much longer so he can get a bed and some rest.
My boring news, if it helps to hear it, is that I’m sitting up in bed propping my sleeping six week old on my chest to try to make sure she doesn’t throw up when I lie her down in a little while (poor bubba has reflux).

I met a man today who used to be shepherd but now wishes to become a barber. I had visions of him wresting clients to the ground, kneeling on their chests and shearing them bald.

I've just eaten a whole wedge of cambazola.

Ah OP I’ve been told n some of your previous threads, I’m sorry to read this update. Here for a hand hold.

My daughter has covid so we are stuck at home here. Possibly just as well as everyone at work did my head in today and at least i could turn my camera off so they didn’t me practically dislocating my eyeballs rolling them so hard 😁

I am so sorry you are both having an awful time of it. Sending .

Your foster babies sound amazing though and you are obviously both brilliant to be doing it.

See-through post-it notes sound genius (although I will have to hide them from my DC who will no doubt try nicking them for some "creative" activity!)

My news...I spotted a local news crew when I was out and about today and am now waiting for the 10 o'clock news to be over so I can see what their report was about and whether they caught me on camera (really hope not as I was not dressed to impress!)

Hope your dh gets good news soon @bloodywhitecat

Are dot and small biological siblings? They sound adorable. I miss having wee ones in the house. Mine are 11&14 now.

My 14 year old is giving me the 'nobody else's parents make them revise' chat every single day at the moment and it's wearing thin. My 11 year old is, well, just like every other 11 year old girl I know, she's A LOT.

I’ve also followed your previous threads @bloodywhitecat and wish you and DH the best in your tough times.

My day off has mainly been making chutney, as a neighbour had lots of green tomatoes going spare and my Scottish hatred of waste meant I took some and made a vat. Somehow chutney making is very restful for me. Otherwise I emptied some kitchen cupboards as we are renovating it soon, and found lots of things I probably don’t need. Oh and 4 bottles of salad cream. Just why?

Clear post it notes are now in my Amazon basket for stocking fillers so thank you!

so difficult for you.

I have spent the evening composing an email to a teacher that says, don't be fucking daft, that homework is never going to be completed, too disabled, I am not getting hit because you think this bit of work is important, but in teacher speak, the sort of language that is used in reports when your kid is a bloody nightmare (unmet needs)... "lively" (doesn't sit still) "sensory seeking" (wraps themselves in the classroom curtains threatening to pull them off the wall... )

I have covid. My son bought me chocolate which I can't taste so I have now had all of the calories with none of the pleasure.

No-one can tell him when he will see this elusive doctor, he has had absolutely no treatment and he doesn't have his essential medications on him meaning he can't eat. What the fuck do I do?

Can you send his medicine and some food in a taxi to the hospital, the taxi driver might be able to text him so he can pop out and grab them

Would the hospital pharmacy be able to supply him with his medication?

He's told the nurses he needs his meds but none have been forthcoming. His battery is about to die so I will get no further news overnight, I don't even know how to track down where he is in the hospital (I know it's not A&E as he was sent to a clinic that was closed and they took him somewhere else and then he was taken somewhere else).

Oh that's even crapper. You must be so worried. Hopefully he'll get his meds soon & an inkling of what the hell is supposed to be going on. He really is having a shit time of it today & you can't even make contact. I'm so sorry. I hoped he was getting some restful sleep, not a chance apparently. All I have is one more mishearing - bloke at a club said to me "I like your hairy bum cheeks". You what?! Oh, he'd actually said "I like your hair in bunches".

If you call the main switchboard, would they be able to track him down? They were able to do that for me the other week when my DH was in for surgery, then I knew which ward to call.

Oh my love. Sounds so much like how my mother was treated (or not treated!)
My GC had an awful reaction after a routine surgery yesterday but is so much better than predicted today. I'm going to take him tonight when he's discharged as DD is grey with exhaustion.
Really hope you get some news soon. Waiting is agony. I've been there.
Huge unmumsnetty hug for you. You're a lovely and brave woman, you can hear it in your posts.

just saw your update and 🤬 on his behalf.

I'm up because DS1 is flying to France in an hour and I saw him off.
He's going to look after his great aunt who's just had an op and is waiting to get a bit better before starting chemo.
She's received abysmal care since home and desperately needs "jump if I whistle" help so DS1 stepped up.
so bloody proud of him.

I don't care he is 20, my stomach is in a knot, I get so anxious when anyone is away.
I'll be stalking him on flightradar24.

Nearly proper morning, OP (if you are UK). My news is I'm going back to work today after 3 days off with a bug but not COVID. Have spent 3 days in my jammies to the point where I got a cab for DS yesterday evening to take him to and from cubs because it was cold and I didn't want to get dressed and was still officially 'off sick'. Thinking of you today.

Ah, blackeyedsuaan, I see you've met my son.

Sorry you're not able to even get in contact with your DH now, OP, I hope you managed to get some sleep.
I woke up to find a cat invading my personal space quite significantly. He's making the most of DP not being here I think, plus it's chilly. He's under my duvet and dis havehis head on my pillow next to me, but has now shuffled so his chin is on my collar bone with his head wedged under my chin. He's snoring. I don't mind as long as he doesn't dribble.

I really hope today answers some questions for you.

We have great excitement in our house today- it’s take Wellies to school day as for first time since starting school during covid they are allowed to go to forest school. The wellies were packed and placed by the door last night.

Hi, Admire you both for the fostering, we were ruled out because of my health. DD going to try the "family befriending" with her local council.
I just weighed myself, definitely under 14 stone. A small step.
Now find the weight loss thread.
Keep strong, Best Wishes to the bloke. Be back later.