Keep me company a while and chat idle crap? A hand hold please

[bloodywhitecat]

DH has cancer, we know he is for palliative care only but he has been doing well (until his most recent scan showed some growth on an existing tumour and some new ones in his liver). His care has been crap, he hasn't seen a doctor in a year, all his appointments have been by phone.

Last week he developed a pain in his calf, and it hasn't got any better. Yesterday I complained to a lovely nurse at our surgery. I said I felt completely alone and failed by the whole system. I also mentioned the pain in his calf and said I was worried about a DVT. Within 10 minutes I had a call to say the GP wanted to see him ASAP. They did a blood test at 4.30pm and today we had a call to say his D-dimer is raised so he is now on his way to hospital.

I feel so alone. I have no-one to turn to. Macmillan have been fucking useless. Friends have pulled away as we seemed to be doing OK and DH has survived his original 6 months prognosis. I don't want to worry my kids, DD is a teacher and can't just come here at the drop of a hat and I would rather poke my eyes out with a blunt poker than tell my mother. I am trying to keep a smile on my face because the babies are still awake but inside I am shit scared this is the start of the decline for DH.

Tell me your dull news, good or bad?

Can I send solidarity about Macmillan being crap? Everytime I see their advert I want to scream, or do my own version of unreturned calls...

I hope you get some better news tonight bloodywhitecat, and your husband is home soon. Cancer is the loneliest place but I promise you're not alone.

more dull news: I'm now cooking the pasta and almost poured a whole kettle-ful of hot water into the sauce.
I managed to pull it the opposite direction just in time so only a few spoonfuls of water landed in the sauce.

I just want to go to bed.
DS1 is leaving at 5am so he, DH & I have our phone alarms set for 4.30 - surely one of us will wake up.

I am so sorry for you and your DH. You sound like an amazing person.

I have excitingly dull news. I recently discovered chocolate brownie M&Ms. I've never been a huge fan of M&Ms but my word, I am no stranger to them now. Lord! They are lush.

Huge hugs and

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I can't imagine how hard it must be. It's really beautiful to read what you say about Dot and Small though. I'm glad you all have each other.

News from me, my two are asleep, DH away for work, so I've had leftover curry and a g&t on the sofa with the cat and an old-school period drama My older DC was brewing a tantrum from lunchtime but we met a friend outdoors and her DC and mine ran the grumps out for a couple of hours and all was well. Been feeling like a failure at work this week (month? Year?) but today I felt like I was at least acing the parenting game.

Thinking of you and your DH OP. We’ve been to look at schools for my DC today and had pizza for tea. DC are all in bed now and I’m sat on the sofa with chocolate and my lovely cats. I’m amazed by the clear post its, I’m off to buy some!

Hope he's back with you soon. Sorry to hear you've had such a terrible time.

I had a migraine so am in bed. Feeling a bit and now want some attention. Been sending DH various screenshots. He stopped responding so I sent him a sentence with one letter on each line, hitting enter after each letter so his phone went ping made. Got his attention.

Apparently his "bloods are all over the place" so he has been moved to a side room and a doctor is coming to speak to him. Trying not to freak out here and failing.

Given a dyson tool, I had ordered, so quids in, cat happily out.
Take care, very sorry for your crap time

Just read your post OP. I’ve seen you posting previously and had wondered how DH was doing. I'm sorry, I really hope he's home with you soon.

I'm lying on my bed trying to summon energy to run a bath, also need to wait for DD to settle as she just woke from a bad dream. At least it means I don't have the energy to go downstairs and raid the Halloween sweets!

@bloodywhitecat

you poor things. sorry everything sounds so chaotic & frightening for you

@purplesequins

The hospital can find no record of a scan being booked for tonight

this is soooo typical my eyes rolled do much they hurt...
we had that with dc. turned up for scan and got turned away only to be called half an hour later (on the way home) to ask where we are as they are waiting.

DS3 had a paediatric appointment booked for the exact time that the paediatric department shuts, as we found out when we got there.

Here with you OP

bloodywhitecat I love your username. I had a beloved white cat when I was younger, he used to play fetch like a puppy for hours & hours. He was also a brilliant goalkeeper if you took penalty shots at him with a cat toy, nothing got past him. You've brought back fabulous memories of him as a kitten so thank you for that.
Sending you a massive handhold, I'm praying things will settle down for your DH. You sound like a wonderful foster mum, the world needs more people like you

Please don’t freak out.

Obviously no one can say it will all be OK but if you can bare to put a positive spin on it, at least he’s in the right place to get answers and help. There’s loads they can do to stabilise things, so don’t panic.

Love the sound of your fosterlings, how brilliant.

I'm really sorry for you and your DH OP.

I'm on day 3 of a new prescription of anti depressants. Signed off work for the second time ever in my working life. Life feels very black right now.
DCs both had a good day at school today though and I was pleased to see them when they got home. I missed them.

Hand hold, Whitecat. I remember your original posts about dh, just he was having tests to diagnose. People really do care, even if they never meet. 💐
My news today is that I need to chase dds supposedly urgent op, I think she has been forgotten. My eldest dd is a bit stressed about upcoming y9 exams, and youngest dd has lost a tooth and is trying to sleep while she waits for the tooth fairy 🧚‍♀️. Meanwhile, I have a hole in my favourite dressing gown and want to go to bed and read.
Much love x

@Percypigg

I am so sorry for you and your DH. You sound like an amazing person.

I have excitingly dull news. I recently discovered chocolate brownie M&Ms. I've never been a huge fan of M&Ms but my word, I am no stranger to them now. Lord! They are lush.

Huge hugs and

I need these.

Bloodywhitecat comes from a little boy I worked with years ago, he used to sing "Postman Pat, Postman Pat, postman Pat and his bloody white cat...", it still brings a smile to my face to think of him today. He'd be an adult by now.

@bloodywhitecat so sorry to hear your news, handheld and a very un-MNetty hug from my sofa to you and your babies.

I've been working at home today whilst DH pottered around tidying up after Ceiling Gate (when a portion of our lath and plaster ceiling fell on me)! Plasterer has been and boarded and skimmed the ceiling so it looks a bit better now. I've been to ballet class and now we're watching the Hairy Bikers.

@bloodywhitecat

Bloodywhitecat comes from a little boy I worked with years ago, he used to sing "Postman Pat, Postman Pat, postman Pat and his bloody white cat...", it still brings a smile to my face to think of him today. He'd be an adult by now.

@bloodywhitecat 🤣🤣🤣

DS5 misunderstanding the lyrics of MJ's Smooth Criminal.
the refrain shall forever be know as "Annie are you wonky? Annie are you wonky? Are you wonky Annie?"

Oh, love.

What news here? Year 11 DD has all but abandoned revision for assessments next week, despite then potentially being use for her GCSE grades. OH GOOD.

DS and I walked through the park today, collected leaves then came home and drew them. He’s 12, so enforced art activities won’t last much longer.

Am taking DD to London tomorrow, more revision avoidance. (Still half term here).

my MN name is that because another MN-er as a nicknamed me Zing.
And I am a self'-certified card carrying drama queen.
And on my wedding day I walked to the "The arrival of the Queen of Sheba" (misspelled it when NC in a hurry and noticed it too late. oh well)

that made me laugh

I used to work in a Catholic primary school. I heard more than one child say, in full reverence, 'Hail Mary full of grapes '

@TheUndeadLovelinessOfDemons trust me, you won't regret it. 🍫