Keep me company a while and chat idle crap? A hand hold please

[bloodywhitecat]

DH has cancer, we know he is for palliative care only but he has been doing well (until his most recent scan showed some growth on an existing tumour and some new ones in his liver). His care has been crap, he hasn't seen a doctor in a year, all his appointments have been by phone.

Last week he developed a pain in his calf, and it hasn't got any better. Yesterday I complained to a lovely nurse at our surgery. I said I felt completely alone and failed by the whole system. I also mentioned the pain in his calf and said I was worried about a DVT. Within 10 minutes I had a call to say the GP wanted to see him ASAP. They did a blood test at 4.30pm and today we had a call to say his D-dimer is raised so he is now on his way to hospital.

I feel so alone. I have no-one to turn to. Macmillan have been fucking useless. Friends have pulled away as we seemed to be doing OK and DH has survived his original 6 months prognosis. I don't want to worry my kids, DD is a teacher and can't just come here at the drop of a hat and I would rather poke my eyes out with a blunt poker than tell my mother. I am trying to keep a smile on my face because the babies are still awake but inside I am shit scared this is the start of the decline for DH.

Tell me your dull news, good or bad?

Sorry to hear that.
My house is a mess and I feel like giving it a spring clean this weekend but I'm at a threat of miscarriage so in two minds whether I should just stay in bed or if a miscarriage was to happen then laying in bed won't stop it.

Just got an email from the library that my books are overdue and annoyed with myself - it happens every time no matter how much I tell myself I'll return them in time.

Going to make pavlova this weekend. I'm not a great dessert maker but I try and make one different dessert each month, I'm hoping to find one that I'm good at and stick to it.

Not sure what to eat today as I'm at that stage where I feel bored of all the food. Maybe it's pregnancy sickness which I'd be glad to get as atm I'm scrambling for any pregnancy symptoms.

Hope you get some good sleep op x

Reading about people mishearing things... Many years ago I took my Opera loving late DH to see Smetana's Bartered Bride..
DH excitedly told Ds2's Godfather who wanted to know why he was seeing an opera about a woman who was being battered!!

Oh OP, you sound so very lovely. I'm sorry you & your husband are going through such awful times. Dot & Small are really lucky to have you; you all give each other such love & happiness.

I took a break from painting skirting boards & walked here today. Swans make a huge racket when they take off. Who knew?!

He's gone quiet, my last message has been delivered but not read so he's either with the doctor or asleep my money's on asleep.

That photo takes me back to my days in the Fens, I miss the splendid isolation sometimes.

Lots of love OP. I am sorry for the crap care your DH has been receiving. Let us know how he's doing.

My new kitchen is complete and I have started putting things away in their new places this evening.

I am a TA so am going along with my kids to a dodgeball tournament tomorrow. The head suggested me and the class teacher take a biscuit snack with us. I only have crunch creams and begrudgingly share them with my own kids, so I grabbed a bag of Christmas chocolate coins instead as an extra treat from the Xmas stash.

I will be keeping my fingers crossed that this baby sticks @laurenGame.

Loving all these mis-hearings!

@bloodywhitecat I am thinking of having a day off work and not telling my family. Obviously, I need your input on this, as a distraction. I think I will go to the seaside.

Pro: it's the Seaside! On my own!
Cons: I will have a whole days work to catch up on when I get back?

I had new heels put on my smart ankle boots today. It seems the old ones were so worn down that they're now noticeably higher and walking in them feels weird.

Now I'm writing a quiz for tomorrow's work social. I'm uninspired, but will think of something I'm sure.

I'm on a diet. Which is why I've just had a second mug of hot chocolate & I'm about to break into a Terry's chocolate orange

So sorry for what you & your family are going through OP. I have to say you & your DH sound like absolutely splendid people. The worst things shouldn't happen to folk like you. I'm sending strength & will keep you in my thoughts.

Oh & I've just watched a short Dad's Army sketch from 1971 that was hidden as an extra on my DVD. I've never seen it before & I loved it. That's how it's rocking & rolling in this house tonight - at age 46, I'm watching seventies sitcoms & drinking cocoa

[quote ChampagneCommunist]**@bloodywhitecat I am thinking of having a day off work and not telling my family. Obviously, I need your input on this, as a distraction. I think I will go to the seaside.

Pro: it's the Seaside! On my own!
Cons: I will have a whole days work to catch up on when I get back?

[/quote]
Do it! and make sure you have fish & chips followed by a bag of sugar donuts 😋

My news, DD & DH were both asleep just after 8pm so I watched tv on my own, felt peckish so ate some syrup sponge cake with ice cream, bag of crisps & some chocolate 😳 I now feel a bit sick!

Thinking of you & your DH @bloodywhitecat 💐

Tesco just arrived. I forgot that I was having a delivery, and hadn’t finished my order. I now have a motley collection of half-meals. And lots of chocolate.

Glad he's asleep.

I wonder if Fens Swans make as much noise when they take off or I just met some real Drama Swans. Sounded like a hundred planks falling off a truck.

My mam, as a little girl in N Yorkshire, thought god had a map on his wall - Our father wi' chart in Heaven...!

@SleepyTraveller

Now I'm writing a quiz for tomorrow's work social.

If it's online play Drawasaurus, it's fun & minimal effort required. If not, our team quizzes have recently been: guess the brand logos, decipher movies using emoji clues, interesting facts about the team members & you have to guess which one belongs to which person, a naughts & crosses tournament. We do one weekly, I struggle to think of new ideas!

My mam, as a little girl in N Yorkshire, thought god had a map on his wall - Our father wi' chart in Heaven...!

That is epic!

@ChampagneCommunist Do it! A day at the sea, on your own is worth the catch up.

@bloodywhitecat I remember you from before, I hope your Dh is snoozing away whilst you worry!
I've been out for a glass of fizz for a friends birthday, got hole to DH fast asleep on the sofa, I'm watching ambulance whilst mumsnetting under a blanket with my coat on as it's freezing tonight 🥶

My DH just completed chemo & radiation a few weeks ago. We won't know how well it worked for another 6-8 weeks when they do his PET scan. Nothing worse than waiting.

As far as idle chatter, I'm watching our Dachsie (in the house) watching our feral cat (in the yard) watching a 'who knows what' in a hole (in the yard). Who will blink first?

Honestly OP, best distraction obsession I’ve just discovered is tiktok. It’s so shite but there’s some great stuff on there. I spent ages looking at old adverts yesterday then watched someone have loads of headline removed.

Sending love to you and your family.

@bloodywhitecat So sorry you & DH are having such a shit time.

I have little news, mundane or otherwise, to share, as I'm on day 5 of Covid isolation... however all the talk of food makes me slightly jealous, I can't smell or taste a thing. I keep going to the fridge and sticking my nose in the crushed garlic jar. Nothing. Ti's very strange!

@ChimChimeny

Ooh, thanks for the suggestions!

@bloodywhitecat I'm sorry about the rubbish care your DH has had. I remember your thread.
My dull day was clearing out the garage to make room to store furniture. My youngest DC is moving back home for a while. I am secretly thrilled because I thought he'd moved out for good but he's boomeranging (is that a verb?) back for a couple of months.
I just got a bag of maltesers out of the fridge, they burst and rolled all over the kitchen floor and I have crawled around on hands and knees to retrieve them. I now know how dusty the corners are

I really panicked when I left work as I couldn’t see my car in the car park and thought it had been stolen. Took me a couple of minutes to remember that it was actually in the garage for a service and I’d borrowed my husband’s car.

Wishing you both well x

Sending love and a handhold @bloodywhitecat.

Sending you lots of love, hope and strength. have you had any more contact with your husband this evening?

How lovely that you are Foster carers. ❤they both sound so cheeky and clearly thriving. ❤

I've been to a smart event and I'm all dressed up.
But underneath I'm wearing a Dylan from the Magic Roundabout T-shirt.
You'd never know!

Hugs to you!
I've read about you and your DH over the last few months.I wish I could help.

Ah op I'm so sorry to hear about the awful care your Dh is getting, it's awful when you feel so helpless. I'm truly ever so sorry.

Your little ones sound a delight, how wonderful that you have them and are looking after them, they both sound like little darlings.

I'm Mumsnetting in bed with my two ds next to me, they are currently starfished and Dh has done the sensible thing and got into their bottom bunk.

I hope you hear from your Dh tonight or if he is asleep he gets lots of restorative rest.