What ages would you say you are “in the thick” of parenting?

[Thepurpleturtle]

I quite often read on here posters saying things like “I’m not surprised you’re tired, you’re in the thick of parenting” or similar.
What ages are in the thick of it?

God, all of it!

Yes, I agree..all of it! They need you just as much as teenagers as when they're little, just in different ways.

Definitely up to 3.

Its the sleep deprivation that kills you.

Once you can sleep, it's not so bad.

Defo easier physically after five

4 under 9 was full on.

But agree with others that it's full on in other ways with older kids.
Helping them choose cars, arrange wifi on new flat, decide a Uni course, not eat junk food all day, celebrate their sporting achievements, supervise them making a roast dinner... it all keeps one busy.

2-4/5 when They're settled in school routine, stimulated by school and friends and tired at the end of the day

Pre school years.

For me it was 12-18 months that I found the hardest.

@ThornesandRoses

God, all of it!

Haha yes totally agree! Mine are 12 and nearly 10, feel like it should be easier by now but eldest has ADHD, I’m nearly five years into being widowed and juggling work with DCs (and feeding us all etc.) is hard. I feel in the thick of it for sure!

6 months to 5 years

Under 4

I would say it's when your children occupy almost all of your free time (ie outside work). Whether that be feeding/ settling a newborn, entertaining an older baby, stopping a toddler getting into mischief etc etc. For me I felt I was past that stage when my youngest was 3, nearly 4 - I didn't have to have my eye on her all the time at home, she could get round a park without needing help on the equipment, she could entertain herself for reasonably long chunks of time on a good day. And of course she slept at night so I was relatively well-rested.

2ish to 6ish is relentless. My youngest is 8 and I can finally “potter” about a bit or read a magazine (though the mental load is still ever present)

Pre school years are the hardest IMO but teens have a different set of issues 😬

"Definitely up to 3."

See, up to the age of 6/4 I was a SAHM and although tired, my life was pretty simple. Baby group / soft play / feed the ducks / repeat.

Now they're 12/14 and still need me just as much, not in physical ways but much more emotionally and it's much more complicated. Plus now I work full time... and also have to juggle dealing with elderly parents. So yeah... Still very much in the thick of it!

Toddlerhood!

The teen years have been by far the most demanding emotionally- I have been utterly crushed by mine.

6 months to 6 years

Pre school years

0 to 6
12 to 16

Teen is by far the hardest. I look at people with babies and toddlers and feel like warning them.

It's emotionally and mentally draining.

I found baby stage ok but hard from when they start to move but lack capacity and rationale.

When they can't entertain themselves but need you to do everything.

I find it so so so so much easier now they can entertain themselves.

I'd say the most intense tiring bit is up until yougest is about 7 or 8. After that, when they can get drinks or snacks on their own, and older ones (assusming 2-3 year+ age gap) can start walking to/from school and making their own meals it all gets significantly easier and you stop feeling like you are constantly cooking or pouring glasses of juice and getting kids into or out of baths and doing bedtime routine etc.

@dalrympy

Teen is by far the hardest. I look at people with babies and toddlers and feel like warning them.

It's emotionally and mentally draining.

Teenage years are really tough...you're right. Less physically exhausting though.

Difficult. I found up to 4 intense as they just take over everything.

After 6 we ended up with DD being on the ADHD spectrum, so it took a long time to sort things out. Otherwise these years may be the eaiser ones.

Pre-teens/Tweens - a whole new saga starts when the hormons kick in.

Emotinally the teen years are the worst. DD is now 14 and it gets to a point where we move from nothing going on to full blown drama in a heartbeat. You never know when it hits.