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Original poster

What ages would you say you are “in the thick” of parenting?

166 replies

Thepurpleturtle · 10/10/2021 21:52

I quite often read on here posters saying things like “I’m not surprised you’re tired, you’re in the thick of parenting” or similar.
What ages are in the thick of it?

OP posts:
FindingMeno · 11/10/2021 06:25

Newborn and teenage.
The rest is all loveliness Smile

merrymelody · 11/10/2021 06:39

The teenage years are by far the most challenging, IMO. The hormones, mood swings, arguments are harder than I could have ever imagined.

Pokhora · 11/10/2021 06:41

@TimeToChangePassword

Really depends on whether you have neurotypical physically healthy children Our ‘normal’ children are easy and don’t need much help -they’re a joy Our child with difficulties will need support possibly for the rest of our lives. We will be ‘in the thick of it’ forever.
I agree. My 10 year old with special needs is far harder to look after than my toddler and will need lifetime care. On the plus side he has made me realise how easy NT children are to look after as everything with the LO has felt like such a breeze in comparison.

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Thatsplentyjack · 11/10/2021 06:43

I have a teen an baby and a 7 year old. The 7 year old is definitely the hardest. He's like Jekyll and hyde, and goes around the house destroying everything he touches. That's just his personality though. My first wasn't like that.

moomoogalicious · 11/10/2021 06:45

Having 3 under 5 with one undiagnosed autism was tough but the teen years have been something else!

Agadorsparticus · 11/10/2021 06:48

2&3 for me. Once you get past the nappy stage and they are starting to get independent.

TerraNovaTwo · 11/10/2021 06:49

All of it.

Bunnycat101 · 11/10/2021 06:50

I feel like I’m in the midst of it now with a 2 and 5yo but a lot depends on the children and the stage you find easiest. I’m physically knackered and my husband isn’t doing as much as he should do at home tbh.

My 5yo is now a dream but was a hell beast at 3. My 2yo is getting easier but no longer naps and isn’t a great sleeper which is making things hard at the moment. I was up at 12.30 and 5.45 with her last night

I personally think I’ll be better suited to dealing with teens than toddlers.

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 11/10/2021 06:50

My DS was a very easy baby, the trouble started when he could walk.

Mybalconyiscracking · 11/10/2021 06:56

You get an emotional break ( not physical) between the ages of 4 and 12 and then it all kicks of again. It is showing signs of easing with eldest at 18, but Friday and Saturday nights are tough with her out at bars and nightclubs for the first time.

Hardbackwriter · 11/10/2021 07:05

@lljkk

4 under 9 was full on.

But agree with others that it's full on in other ways with older kids.
Helping them choose cars, arrange wifi on new flat, decide a Uni course, not eat junk food all day, celebrate their sporting achievements, supervise them making a roast dinner... it all keeps one busy.

I feel like the busyness that people describe with teens must just be one of those things that you can't understand until you get there (like having a baby, I guess) because I just read that and think 'but that's a list of one-off, somewhat voluntary tasks, how can anyone compare that to looking after someone who can't get themselves food or wipe their own bum?'. Everyone says teens are the hardest work so I don't disbelieve it as such, it's just hard to see from the outside how!
fluffythedragonslayer · 11/10/2021 07:20

Mine are 11, 14 and 17 and I feel more tired now than I ever have. They need help with homework, emotional issues, friendship troubles etc. they are up later than me usually so the adult only evenings have gone. I'm working full time (which I was lucky enough not to do before they were all at school) and then homework, dinner, sorting out everyone's issues of the day, worrying about them at the weekend while they are out, managing finances (they cost me a fortune now). There are obvious benefits to them being older but take me back to when they were 7, 4 and 1, I'm sure it was easier then (in my personal circumstances)

Mybalconyiscracking · 11/10/2021 07:24

The thing is, as a mother you basically go through their adolescence with them emotionally; every set back, every crush, every incident of bullying.
It’s like your own adolescence only 100 x worse because this time you are completely powerless … and for most crises the solution looks fairly obvious.. at least to you!

nameswap48 · 11/10/2021 07:25

Some women just love to torment others, it's the "just you wait" crowd who tell tired pregnant women to sleep while they can because they never will again, that laugh in the face of mothers with sleeping new borns telling them about the terrible 2s, oh no wait 3s yep that's worse now apparently, and then just as women are finding their feet they love to tell them just how inescapably horrendous the teen years are. I remember real life being a bit like this but on mumsnet it's doom and gloom on steroids Hmm

Lifeinthescratcher · 11/10/2021 07:26

The pre-school years are intense but teenage yearscan be trying too! Come to think of of it, prmary school pretty full on with sen child.Grin

MattyGroves · 11/10/2021 07:31

Can someone elaborate on the teens being as hard as preschoolers thing?

I just find it hard to believe that, even if they have big emotional issues, that it really compares to broken sleep, never being able to take your eye off them, not being able to leave them alone etc

Stroppypants · 11/10/2021 07:31

@fluffythedragonslayer I completely agree. I never worried about my children the way I do now that they’re teenagers. Plus the cost of them, as a single parent it’s crippling me.
Also agree that 0-6 is tough.

Stompythedinosaur · 11/10/2021 07:36

0-5 I think. I just remember being tired all the time and having no time for anything for me - just an endless loop of work and childcare.

Comedycook · 11/10/2021 07:41

@MattyGroves

Can someone elaborate on the teens being as hard as preschoolers thing?

I just find it hard to believe that, even if they have big emotional issues, that it really compares to broken sleep, never being able to take your eye off them, not being able to leave them alone etc

Yes it's much easier physically as in you don't need to be in the same room, dress them. You can sleep all night. However, the teen years are far longer than the baby/toddler years. The worry in itself causes a different type of exhaustion. You lose control. I don't know about others, but my teen ds is so unbelievably rude to me...it is so draining to do so much for someone who is so vile to you
lubeybooby · 11/10/2021 07:42

from 0 to 3 or 4 ish

double/triple so if you have more than one under 4

Chakraleaf · 11/10/2021 07:43

Teenagers. 100%

It's ridiculous!

I had 2 under 18mths and it was a ball in the park compared to this.

Chakraleaf · 11/10/2021 07:44

@MattyGroves

Can someone elaborate on the teens being as hard as preschoolers thing?

I just find it hard to believe that, even if they have big emotional issues, that it really compares to broken sleep, never being able to take your eye off them, not being able to leave them alone etc

Bigger problems.

Bullying, physical violence, drugs, keeping them safe, relationship break up, emotions and self harm and back chat. Giving them independence and realising you can't always be there to keep them safe. Issues are not sorted with a plaster and a cuddle and it's just exhausting and hard.

Comedycook · 11/10/2021 07:45

Oh and they stay up so bloody late you lose your lovely childfree evenings

Chakraleaf · 11/10/2021 07:45

@MattyGroves

Can someone elaborate on the teens being as hard as preschoolers thing?

I just find it hard to believe that, even if they have big emotional issues, that it really compares to broken sleep, never being able to take your eye off them, not being able to leave them alone etc

Sleep does get broken lol you worry about them being out or being OK.
Joystir59 · 11/10/2021 07:45

Definitely up to 41