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Original poster

How do I get through the next 7yrs

142 replies

Sunnyreception · 01/10/2021 15:48

Name change!
My daughter has just started reception, hadn’t been able to view the school before due to covid. The school is highly rated and is the closest to us, it really was always a given she would go there. We’re in London so I’m used to a mix of people: races, classes etc.
Looking however around the school today for the first time, meeting the other parents (I appreciate this isn’t the point of school)- it struck me there is not one parent I could mesh with. The school is in a rundown area, and it’s apparent there is little social diversity, they all have 3-4 children and counting, the aggression of one of the mothers when I attempted to speak to her was ……interesting.
Any tips tor surviving the next 7years or do I have to move?

OP posts:
CanICelebrate · 01/10/2021 15:55

Well if after 4 weeks you already think you’re better than the other mums with their 3-4 children (shock horror) then I’d suggest you move her to a different school asap where you can make nice mummy friends and your child can mix with a better class of child.

MrsRobbieHart · 01/10/2021 15:57

Not even 4 weeks, OP has decided this on her first time looking round the school.

Availableforbaking · 01/10/2021 16:01

Are you wedded to London OP? Is private sector an option?

I left London before having DC but I know friends of mine who stayed in London have felt the pressure to go for private schools - I suspect for reasons along these lines (although they probably wouldn’t admit it Wink )

Your post is not very PC so is bound to ruffle the feathers of some posters but it would upset me too if I wasn’t happy with DC school environment.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General education Primary education
Comedycook · 01/10/2021 16:05

@Availableforbaking

Are you wedded to London OP? Is private sector an option?

I left London before having DC but I know friends of mine who stayed in London have felt the pressure to go for private schools - I suspect for reasons along these lines (although they probably wouldn’t admit it Wink )

Your post is not very PC so is bound to ruffle the feathers of some posters but it would upset me too if I wasn’t happy with DC school environment.

Yes, the op will get a flaming by people who in all honesty would feel the same way but just not admit it!!
Mariell · 01/10/2021 16:05

Homeschool and then the only riff raff you have to mix with is yourself.

CanICelebrate · 01/10/2021 16:10

@Availableforbaking
Not very PC is an understatement! It’s snobby and judgmental.
By all means she can move her child out of the school for whatever reasons she wants but she has judged all the families in a school after looking round the school once, on the average number of children she thinks parents have got and because one mum appeared aggressive.

Surely she knew what the area was like before she sent her child there?

mintandlime · 01/10/2021 16:11

My daughter started nursery today too!
And I feel the same. (London Borough)

The mums already know other mums from growing up in the area.

The mums clearly not from the area have grouped up it seems by ethnicity.

I got asked if my bag was real Hmm and why's my daughter says "yes" I felt like I was in a different universe And I'm only from up nort h hardly sw1

Comedycook · 01/10/2021 16:11

Most of us if we're honest want to at least have some mums at the school gate that we gel with...makes playdates/birthday parties so much easier

CanICelebrate · 01/10/2021 16:13

@Comedycook

But her post will inevitably upset people so why post it? To be goady?

CanICelebrate · 01/10/2021 16:14

@Comedycook

How can she judge all the mums this quickly?
She’s decided she is above them and has ruled out any chance of gelling with them.

Availableforbaking · 01/10/2021 16:14

Yes OP’s post is not well-worded and I can see why it will offend some people. Perhaps OP is upset about this so why don’t we give her the benefit of the doubt rather than jumping on her….

Siriisatwat · 01/10/2021 16:17

Move to where I am. You’ll get a shock then, you will run out of pearls to clutch in no time. Parents smoke weed outside the gates.

It’s been a shock to the system after I moved here, let me tell you. But I had to move across the country from a very affluent area to a very deprived one. I’ve tried not to be a twat with it.

The teachers are fabulous though. As is the standard of teaching and work on offer. dd is happy. She’s very bright, she’s thriving.

I just smile and nod at all and try not to judge. We all have different lives.

CanICelebrate · 01/10/2021 16:17

@Availableforbaking

I don’t even fall into the category of mums that OP is looking down her nose at and I am offended by her post.

Comedycook · 01/10/2021 16:17

Let's not be disingenuous. Most of us group together with people who are similar to ourselves. I recently had a social gathering with a middle class mum friend of mine... her friends were all middle class, well educated types. There's a group of mums at my DC's school who are from the other end of the social spectrum shall we say. Birds of a feather stick together

JustGiveMeGin · 01/10/2021 16:18

I don't live anywhere near London but I moved my children out of our tiny town primary to another very small primary school for this exact reason. The day I heard a mum on the phone to her mate telling her that her daughter will be wearing plimsolls until the effing dad paid his effing maintenance was the day I decided my kids were out of there, especially as she then proceeded to tell the friend about the £30 acrylic nails she'd just had done!
May not be PC but it was the best decision I made for my children and myself.

Comedycook · 01/10/2021 16:20

Also school is such a huge part of our children's lives...and it lasts so bloody long, you want it to be the right environment

PileOfBooks · 01/10/2021 16:20

To my shame I felt a bit like this but once you get to know people you realise we're not all that different and find points in common.

Siriisatwat · 01/10/2021 16:21

Oh and the most aggressive parent I ever met was a neurology consultant when my ds was at a very middle class school in London. She used to get pissed at every summer/winter fair and event and start on other parents like she was Kat Slater. Then she got banned from the grounds after she tried to attack the deputy head.

She had a very nice Audi though. So you can never tell.

FourTeaFallOut · 01/10/2021 16:23

I'd offer some advice but I have three children.

HumunaHey · 01/10/2021 16:23

I am naive as I don't yet have children in school. Does it really matter what the parents are like? It's just your kids school. You don't need to be friends with them.

yellowgingham · 01/10/2021 16:24

Roughly which area is it OP? Just out of interest and try to understand a bit more what the issue is.

I'd give it a bit longer, it might take you a while to find people you click with. You wouldn't be the first person to move your child's school because of the culture though. People don't say it out loud but it happens all the time.

Siriisatwat · 01/10/2021 16:24

@Comedycook

Let's not be disingenuous. Most of us group together with people who are similar to ourselves. I recently had a social gathering with a middle class mum friend of mine... her friends were all middle class, well educated types. There's a group of mums at my DC's school who are from the other end of the social spectrum shall we say. Birds of a feather stick together
Of course people group together. It’s just human nature.

I’ve done so many professional courses over the years that last a few weeks. By the end of the first day, people sit in groups of age, ethnicity. It’s just how people are.

Original poster
Sunnyreception · 01/10/2021 16:26

@Availableforbaking

Are you wedded to London OP? Is private sector an option?

I left London before having DC but I know friends of mine who stayed in London have felt the pressure to go for private schools - I suspect for reasons along these lines (although they probably wouldn’t admit it Wink )

Your post is not very PC so is bound to ruffle the feathers of some posters but it would upset me too if I wasn’t happy with DC school environment.

Sadly I can’t afford private school in any way
OP posts:
Original poster
Sunnyreception · 01/10/2021 16:28

@Mariell

Homeschool and then the only riff raff you have to mix with is yourself.
Except I work and am not a teacher
OP posts:
Original poster
Sunnyreception · 01/10/2021 16:32

In terms of area: London/ Kent- my sisters children are in a school which is more inner London, but has a far broader demographic mix of parents.

OP posts: