How do I get through the next 7yrs

[Sunnyreception]

Name change!
My daughter has just started reception, hadn’t been able to view the school before due to covid. The school is highly rated and is the closest to us, it really was always a given she would go there. We’re in London so I’m used to a mix of people: races, classes etc.
Looking however around the school today for the first time, meeting the other parents (I appreciate this isn’t the point of school)- it struck me there is not one parent I could mesh with. The school is in a rundown area, and it’s apparent there is little social diversity, they all have 3-4 children and counting, the aggression of one of the mothers when I attempted to speak to her was ……interesting.
Any tips tor surviving the next 7years or do I have to move?

I never ever said people were horrible- my whole point is that they aren’t diverse, I’m sure I’d feel the same in a very posh private school - it’s not that anyone is better or worse than any other

even worse is I claim disability benefits but don't use my wheelchair every day

That’s it, get off the thread....off, go on.
🤣🤣🤣

This has to be a wind up, bloody awful if it’s not. 😔

That’s it, get off the thread....off, go on

You're not my muvva

I never ever said people were horrible- my whole point is that they aren’t diverse, I’m sure I’d feel the same in a very posh private school - it’s not that anyone is better or worse than any other

So, what types of parents do you think you would ‘mesh’ with. 2 kids or less and not planning more...what else?

Making friends in the school playground can be a struggle in any school OP, so if you move to a school with a demographic more aligned with yours there’s no guarantee you’d like it any more. Playground chat can be so forced. It took me several years before I really became friendly with some of the other parents at the school gate. Give it time..

After 1 month, there will definitely be parents you haven’t yet met - what about all the parents who work long hours and so their child goes to after school club or picked up by childminder? It’s not possible to meet everyone so quickly.

The real test will come when your daughter starts to make friends and you meet other parents when you have a child home for tea after school. Maybe you’ll be pleasantly surprised at who you meet?

In answer to your OP, the best way to get through the next 7 years is with an open mind.

You're not my muvva.

😂😂😂

The reason they all have 3/4 kids is that we with multiple kids can't afford the holiday clubs so have to be SAHP.....

Or alternatively one parent is maybe collecting kids from more than one family....you know to help each other out.

Surely the school is representative of the area you live in.....so if the other parents are trash then what does that make you???

Give it time. Talk to people. Don't judge and see if your child is happy. If they are and make friends then fab.

Hang on. This is the school closest to you, so aren’t these people your neighbours too?

@HerRoyalRisesAgain

Ooh I think I must be riff raff. 3 kids and on benefits.

Me too. AND I have a blue badge and no wheelchair!

I think people are being a bit harsh. OP’s daughter has just started reception, which in itself is traumatic. You don’t know how it’s going to go for your child so you’re hoping it’s a caring and nice place for her to be. You meet gobby, sweary, aggressive parents outside and you’re going to assume their kids are the same, so of course you are going to have reservations. If you don’t you probably are one that everyone else dreads. Bet you all send your five year olds to the shop for Rothmans and a scratcher too!

@CandyLeBonBon utterly disgraceful

I felt like this at our open day - daughter is in year 5 and l still feel the same. I am friendly and chatty to the other mums but not one of them is someone l would call a friend

This thread is an education in itself.

I would say at the school gates I chat in passing to a couple of parents, am on smile and nod terms with others, have a work related moan with a couple of others (NHS). I have never come across the sort of playground politics that's mentioned on Mumsnet (admit I may well be oblivious as I'm only there for a max 5 mins a couple of afternoon a week).

I would say the main thing OP is how well your daughter settles, the ethos of the school and the quality of the teaching. If you aren't happy with those things then of course you are entitled to move your DD somewhere else.

I have 3 kids and am neither Waynetta Slob or Kate Middleton! Just ordinary.

@SuperstarDog

I never ever said people were horrible- my whole point is that they aren’t diverse, I’m sure I’d feel the same in a very posh private school - it’s not that anyone is better or worse than any other

So, what types of parents do you think you would ‘mesh’ with. 2 kids or less and not planning more...what else?

A diverse mix would help - I know you’re dying to jump on anything I word less than 100% pc, some people on here do get social differences and what I’m describing.

Also no idea where the idea that I was disability bashing comes from, I never once said benefits or disabled- completely made up narrative by other posters.

@EastWestWhosBest

Hang on. This is the school closest to you, so aren’t these people your neighbours too?

Not that I noticed before, I’m on the London Kent border and live in what I consider a diverse area.

I wouldn't call any of the other school parents 'friends' either, but I'm not there for me!

I would offer some advice but I have 3 children so am clearly the kind of riff raff you’re trying to avoid 🤷🏻‍♀️.

@HumunaHey

I am naive as I don't yet have children in school. Does it really matter what the parents are like? It's just your kids school. You don't need to be friends with them.

Yes, this. I feel like I must have been a really bad mother. My children's school had good ratings and it was local. They all seemed happy enough and they learned things. I never made friends with other mothers. My kids made their friends not me. I never arranged their social life either.

You sound really snobby !

My kids made their friends not me. I never arranged their social life either so your 5 year old arranged their own play date and you bunged them a fiver??!

Op apologies if you have asnweed this but can you elaborate on what the issues are with child number?
I genuinely don't get the connotation there?

Some parts of London are incredibly insular and people don't visit parts of London for museums etc.

It's not all wonderfully diverse. Honestly I'd probably move her, I've had massive school gate issues because I can't relate to the mums around me (leafy area..) and my dd does reflect me as well and what we do and will we are.

So I'd move her because she may struggle to make friends.

A diverse mix would help - I know you’re dying to jump on anything I word less than 100% pc,
some people on here do get social differences and what I’m describing.

Which is why I asked what type of parents you would mesh with, to understand what’s missing In a more positive way. For example I talked to the majority of mums, but the ones I got on well with were, chatty, interested in their child’s education without being pushy, didn’t think their child was an angel and the teachers were always wrong, spoke nicely to their children etc. Some were richer, poorer, from other cultures, religions etc but it was the things I’ve listed that made me get on with them. It’s hard to believe that in a year of 30, 60 kids or however many, there aren’t any parents which you will get on with.

• yes I do think it matters a great deal because your children will reflect your own life to a degree, interests..

So this school is closest to you
So they’re the people who live near you
So you’re one of them

Hmmm….