18 Month old just escaped house, freaking the fuck out :(

[TheFairPrincess]

Lovely neighbour just bought my toddler to me :( He escaped while I was on a work call, I didn't realise my partner had left the door unlocked. I feel absolutely sick.

When I was just 2 and at a play date I merrily told all the mums having coffee that I was off to the shops. I then proceeded to leave the house and was found three streets away. There were 5 mums in that house and I still escaped- don't beat yourself up OP! In a few years it will be a good story to tell

@334bu

Playpens are great but not so good for twins. My son was on the way to the front door when I caught him. He had used his sister as a stool to get up and out of the playpen.

OMG !

@creamandberries snap! At 2 I told my mum I was off to rabbit land. She thought I meant the back garden where our pet rabbit lived whilst I actually meant the field by the railway line at the top of our road where the wild rabbits lived...

I was found and returned half an hour later during which time my poor mum had aged by about 20 years.

OP no harm done. I think this is the sort of thing thst happens to most parents once.

Shit happens sometimes. It just does. Mine never escaped. But I was an escapee. Doors locked? No problem, climbed on a chair, then on the table , then sneaked out the window. Scared the crap out of grandma.

I had my neighbour's toddler knock on my door for a playdate in just a nappy and nothing else. Kid was very proud of himself, his mum was terrified.

Shit happens.

Mine youngest was a flipping houdini. Walking at 11 month able to pull a chair and climb up to the keys high up on a hook -at 18 months and able to unlock a strong front door.

At 2 he could get over the 5 bar field gate -little sod. I had to put an electric fence along the top and bottom (busy main road at the bottom of a long drive). People used to say -is the electric fence for all the dogs or one of them -no I'd reply not my dogs they can stay that's for F. Little bugger. Thank you neighbour again and send your partner round too. Double lock and bolt now.

I had one perfect toddler so he never even attempted to escape. Then his wild brother came ready to challenge every thing that I thought I knew about parenting. Hes quiet and very very fast and very skilled in fine motor skills. We just happened to get a chime fitted to our front door with our alarm system (like a shop) and laughed at how ridiculous it was. Sitting in the living room right beside the door the toddler stood up, walked straight to door, unlocked it and walked straight out. Couldnt believe it when the chime went. He got to the bottom of the drive way as I ran after him. This is a new build so door meets up to date building standards. Admittedly the chain wasn't on because my husband was coming back in 5 minutes but there is absolutely no way my eldest would have been capable of that until he was 3.

Mine escaped out the cat flap at that age.... and was brought back by a neighbour..

Oh you poor thing. My DS was the same. He managed to unlock the back door to leg it. He ran off at least three times. I really thought the last time my luck had run out.

I had a similar experience when my now 11 year old was that age. Left her downstairs with her dad while I did some tidying in the bedroom. Glanced out of the window to see her wandering across the road, wearing her dad's shoes. I was absolutely livid with him.

I've also had the experience of losing her in the house when I was on my own. It was snowing and I remember running outside barefoot, screaming her name, just in case she'd wandered off again. Then I came to my senses; the door wasn't open and her shoes were still by the door (she was in the habit of putting her shoes on before she went out). She had to be in the house. Eventually I found her, asleep in the toybox, with the lid shut.

Terrifying though, but you live and learn. I now keep my door locked with the keys high up on a hook on the wall.

@NewlyGranny

Congratulations on attaining the highest level of smug, Assassin! If only we were all more like you...

@NewlyGranny

I wouldn't call it smug to point out that some people see danger more readily than others. We all assess risk differently. I'm quite risk averse generally. As a parent you weigh up the risks of things and also go off past experience. I've already given my story about how my son disappeared in a supermarket - I assessed things based on the fact that he knew about stranger danger, had never run off before and I was only turning my back for a minute. I never would have seen that as a risky thing to do.

I think "risk-taking" has changed over time when it comes to parenting. In the 70s and 80s we were basically let out for the day to play out on our own and go to the park for hours without an adult, from quite a young age. It's just the way things were then. I very much doubt that anyone would do that these days. I don't think anyone would leave a crawling baby on their own in the garden these days either. Although I'm aware that people always used to routinely leave babies to sleep in the pram at the bottom of the garden for a couple of hours. I would never do that either as i'd be conscious of them being stung by a wasp or something, or a cat going in the pram. Yet it used to be done routinely with not a second thought.

I do think that there is more awareness of safeguarding and safety now. Perhaps a bit too much the other way sometimes.

It happened to me when I was about 2 1/2 years old. In a city centre shop, early 1970s, my DF thought I was with my DM, my DM thought I was with my DF. I was outside the shop trying to get on a bus to go home and see my baby sister who was being minded by my Auntie. An elderly couple realised I was on my own and kept me with them whilst I chatted away until my parents turned up. I had to wear reins after that episode.

Welcome to the club of imperfect parents - we're all members

My autistic 2 year old worked out how to turn the key in the back door and let himself out, thoughtfully closing the door behind him so I didn't know where he was. Fortunately, he only got as far as the drain pipe at the side of our house which was an autistic obsession for him at the time.

My firstborn let herself out of our first floor flat and attempted to go downstairs sitting on a push and ride Pooh Bear. I was mortified and felt terrible.

She is now 39 and was not scarred for life.

We learn from our life experiences - suppose what I am trying to say is these things happen, no harm was done and you will keep a sharper eye on your escaping child in future.

You will both be fine, take care x

It’s a horrid thing literally you’re heart stops with anxiety. You’re not bad mum
It was a dreadful set of events.you have taken steps to prevent recurrence
There is always some tutty arse hole who’ll exploit your emotional state. It was a mistake not a habitual event

Way back in time one of my younger brothers used to do this sort of thing constantly. He wandered down the busy lane in his t-shirt, socks and a nappy and brought back by a neigbour. My Mum blamed me as the eldest for that who had been watching BluePeter cluelessly. She was scared.
He used to climb out of his cot at night and open window [downstairs thank goodness]. My Mum turned his cot into a prison and made a net type top to it.
As a parent, my eldest would wander off in shops and eventually, despite looks, I got baby reigns. He was a hand slipper and dangerous by roads as well. Grew out of it.
My Dad often left prams outside of our village shop. Drove my Mum crazy...
Most of us, have been there...

I've worked in care for years and will never forget once when staff came to find me just after midnight to say an elderly lady with dementia wasn't in bed and asked when I last saw her.

Long and short I did the first checks and walk round shortly after coming on shift but her room had a dodgy floorboard which if you stepped on would often wake her up and she was a poor sleeper in general. Popped my head just in the door, saw the bed covers untucked and ruffled, listened and was happy she was fast asleep so I carried on my checks and didn't go in again until the other girl said she wasn't there.

When I went in oh God... Bed covers were in exactly the same position they were as I'd seen them but staff on the earlier shift had just pulled them down ready for her to get into bed. Back then the system of shift handovers wasn't as thorough as it could and should have been so I'd not been told she was still up and watching TV lounge rather than in bed already as she would normally be.

Everyone split up and did a full search of the building and an upstairs fire exit was wide open. With no sign, I had to call the police and tell them flat out and up front I didn't know what she was wearing and hadn't seen her at all since coming on duty. Explained to him what happened and said how bad I felt but couldn't lie because we needed to work within a certain range and search area which given a few hours had passed, could have placed her anywhere from 100ft to a couple of miles.

They were literally minutes from getting the helicopter out and one of the police officers tripped over her laying fast asleep in reeds right at the far end of the garden. She was unharmed, unscathed but freezing God bless her but I couldn't shake that feeling of guilt and worrying “what if?” for ages afterwards it's still with me to this day.

By the next morning panic alarms were fitted to the external fire exits that pulled the cord and activate the alarm.

Ah I can imagine the sheer panic.bMy DS figured out how to get the patio door key out of the kitchen drawer, try it in each lock, open the patio door and escape into our garden when was about 2! Sneaky little things, toddlers.

You had a really lucky escape. Just breathe, glass of wine, ride out the inevitable nightmares you will have for a while. Lots of extra cuddles. I'm just cuddling my DS now in sympathy for your near-miss.

Oh it's the new skills which catch us out!

More than 20 years ago, but it's still vivid, the morning I walked in the front door, calling out greetings, smiling up at the wee head and bum near the top of the stairs, completely absorbed, so I thought, in perfecting his clamber up/bum-shuffle down technique which he'd been working on for a couple of weeks. I turned & bent down to take off my shoes, only to glimpse out of the corner of my eye a wee bundle hurtling towards me - he'd thrown himself off the stairs into my arms without checking I was even looking! Never done that before. Absolute trust and love and joy in flight for him; sheer heart-stopping terror for me. I caught him, by some miracle, and so began an eventful few weeks as we navigated him learning to check for my complete attention before flinging himself off his latest perch. If it helps at all, there's a whole other flavour to the fear when it's not even your own bairn trying to kill themselves on your watch ...

My df lost my 2 year old brother in a massive shopping center. Whole place was shut down , nobody could get in or out and they found him in a corner playing with a toy car he had found in a shop and taken . I think most parents have had this kind of thing happen

Poor you OP! It happens! I was overly careful as I am not a natural mother but still had this happen! Took 18 month old (at the time) DD and all my shopping into the cottage we lived in at the time. Shut the door with my bum. Started unpacking…realised with horror I didn’t hear the usual loud click the door made when closing. Did nowhere to be found! I ran outside in a panic, down the garden path to the street in tears because I couldn’t see her anywhere. Then I heard the metre box slam in the back garden. She’d gone out the door and just to the side of the house to open and close the box which fascinated her. It happens so easily and it feels horrible, but it’s not intentional and we learn from it. Relax. He’s fine, it’s your nerves that are shattered.

Think of how your kid feels. They could have been waiting months for one of you to slip up with the door, and when you finally did, they waited for the perfect opportunity. The phone rang, and that was it. They knew it was their moment to shine. They sneakily make their way to the door, to finally put into practice their new skill they have been trying out with doors in the house when your heads were turned. It worked. The door opened and they could see and smell pure freedom. They make it down the garden path, and no one bats an eye. Strutting with confidence, feeling like a grown up in the big open world and thinking about where to go. They finally decide on the park, so they pick up the pace and then...an interfering woman asks where mummy is and picks them up and takes them back to the door.
All that hard work. For nothing.

@TheChip Adorable!! I'm sure that's exactly how he felt

Thank you everyone for sharing your stories, they have given me a much needed laugh [ha;o]

*

Not exactly toddlers but… my mother, who was the headteacher at my school, took the whole of year 6 for an end of school trip to a fairly remote area of the country we were living at back then. We were in the train for 12 hours (there was only one on each direction a day), when we arrived to the destination, we all came down and she decided to go back in the train for a second check.

The train left with her aboard

Someway she managed to get the train to stop half a mile ahead and walk back, just to lose half of us in the woods just 3 days later. One of my friends, who had spent a lot of time in summer camps in the USA, made us follow a river until we found a path and from there we walked up until someone found us. We were lost for about 3 hours. To this day she swears we were never lost, she was following us behind and could hear us all the time. She obviously didn’t