18 Month old just escaped house, freaking the fuck out :(

[TheFairPrincess]

Lovely neighbour just bought my toddler to me :( He escaped while I was on a work call, I didn't realise my partner had left the door unlocked. I feel absolutely sick.

Lots of us have been through similar situations, OP, and have nothing but fellow-feeling and sympathy for you. Take a deep breath, he's fine.
My DS was a little houdini at the same age, caused me and my poor DM many grey (and white) hairs).
We can laugh about it now....

I feel the same as you, which is why I feel uncomfortable people normalising these events.

I see it so often when out and about, people just not being vigilant at all with their kids. Kids running into roads, kids nearly hitting people walking whilst they’re on their bikes/scooters. It’s disgraceful. @CurlyhairedAssassin

Oh, poor you OP! We’ve all had some near misses!! They are so quick and wriggly.
My little terror flipped over during a nappy change and managed to land on the floor (I was just shaking the nappy out to put on him!) I was inches from him - but he had learnt to crawl shortly before, so he thought he was flipping on to his tummy - not on to the floor!
So frightening for you, but he’s ok now 💐
Deep breath… cup of tea… look at improving your “security” xx

Oh, OP, be kind to yourself. Ignore the judgemental - if they've never experienced anything like this they are just very, very lucky. I've 3 grown up children and 5 grandchildren, and can say from experience that there are always going to be near-miss incidents with toddlers that will keep you awake in the middle of the night. As time goes by they fade, and when your boy is grown up this will just be another family story. You're a good, caring mum and your little one is safe and well and hasn't a clue that he was ever in danger. All is well.

I still remember the feeling of doom then panic when you realise you can't see/find your toddler as I had one that liked to 'run away' I'm afraid she had to wear reigns or be double strapped into her pushchair.

We also had a front door that had a silly low handle, I was surprised as to how easily DC1 work out how to open it. From that point on it was locked.

Playpens are great but not so good for twins. My son was on the way to the front door when I caught him. He had used his sister as a stool to get up and out of the playpen.

These things happen, they are little Houdinis!! Yes of course it was scary but try not to dwell on the "what ifs".

Congratulations on attaining the highest level of smug, Assassin! If only we were all more like you...

@Staryflight445

It’s interesting how the responses would be different here if we were discussing an 18 month old hit by a car or still missing. Or the sighting of a child in just a nappy.

I don’t need to tell you what could’ve happened op or how lucky you are that by chance your neighbour spotted him, you’ve clearly learned a lot today and had one of the worst parenting moments ever.
I’m sure you’ve considered it all which is why you’ve posted, to not feel like the only one.
You’re not the only one, but the responses are weird.

It happens but we absolutely shouldn’t try and normalise it.

Jings, no need to stick the boot in.

it happens OP.

The milkman once knocked on MIL's door and said "do you know your toddler is sitting on the windowsill?"

When my now 13 year old was 2 we had builders in doing some work and they had left the front door open while they went to get something from the van. I didn't know my son was missing until the neighbour brought him back. He'd gone out and gone for a walk up the road. I felt awful but luckily nothing bad had happened while he had gone on his adventure.

It was one of those situations where everyone thought someone else had DS.

Yep, have been in a similar situation at tourist attractions. Easy done when you have several DC. Lots going on etc. Glad it worked out well in the end @bumblingbovine49

DS and his toddler friend escaped the house at night when they were 18 months old, someone went out for a fag, left the door unlocked and when I saw them after I saw the door open they were running at the end of the road at least 15 houses away. Every door was bolted ever since.

I understand they were piling stuff in the garden of the nursery not before then, they caught them when they were about to jump over the gate. Believe me, they are still alive and away in university, climbing higher heights these days.

There’s nothing in the past that we can change apart of locking the doors, instead of beating yourself be grateful your neighbour caught him (but read the riot act to your partner as soon as he is back)

My 2 year old went out in the dead of the night when we had a major snow storm. I woke up freezing and went to put the heating on. Saw the door open and panicked. Followed the footprints to find him up a lane. It happens. We changed the way we managed the external doors so it didn't happen again.

My daughter is extremely bloody sensible and never did anything like this... Until she turned 6. I was in the woods with DD and her cousin and their dog, I was doing my duty picking up the dog poo and I looked up and they'd fucking disappeared! I'm normally a very calm person but omg they were just missing! I couldn't find them for 10 minutes in a wood I didn't know... Turns out the cousin had a great idea to run off and hide ffs.

It happens op, always when you least expect it! Don't beat yourself up, he's absolutely fine xx

Bless you, have a cuppa and calm down. Think about how your going to prevent this from happening in future. Your lucky it was a neighbour who found him.

I've been in a similar situation. I got into the shower, bathroom door open, could hear and kind of see LO, similar age to your LO at the time. I remember leaving the garden door open that day to let air in. I had got out if the shower and I couldn't find him, looked in every room my heart sank and could feel myself shaking with dread I looked again ran out in the front and back garden nothing. Came back inside looked upstairs and there he was grinning in the corner between the two cupboards playing with my jewellery, I wanted to swear so bad! Instead I just squeezed him and cried, didnt let got of him all evening.

DM was left outside the bakers and my grandmother went home with her shopping. Got home then realised something was missing 🤦🏻

She was in a pram at the time as a baby.

It can happen to anyone and has. A colleague who is one of the most attentive mothers you could find had a similar experience. No one has their child under their eye 24 /7. The door will be locked in future. Forgive yourself. Shit happens.

It happened my colleague with his twins. They hadn’t even noticed them gone. The neighbour walked up and asked him if he was missing anything? They were gone for ages too.

Put it behind you now, it definitely won’t happen again. Everyone has made a mistake at some stage of being a parent.

@DoubleEx

Were you trying to pretend on your work call that you were on your own and didn’t have a small child there? Would they be difficult about it? If so, that’s shit and their unsupportive attitude almost helped create a situation where a serious accident could have happened.

That being said, I still can’t really understand how you knew it was only you and him in the house, you knew the stair gate was broken, and yet he was left alone and out of your sight long enough to be able do that without you noticing.

I don’t want to kick you when you’re down but it sounds like this was pretty avoidable. I’m definitely not an anxious style parent but when it was just me and my 18 month old in the house I would always have one eye on them. Too dangerous not to.

Every parent can remember that one time when their guard was down or they were distracted and a bad thing nearly happened. Every. Parent. If you think you are perfect and you have never experienced this, come back to me in 10 years time.

I let my young children play in the garden whilst I was prepping dinner in the kitchen. The kitchen overlooks the garden but I was busy chopping veg and didn't realise that the side gate had been left open. I suddenly thought it was quiet and when I looked out they were no where to be seen. I went out to find them and saw the gate open and shat myself! Thankfully they were just playing in the front and hadn't got far but my blood ran cold for a few seconds.

These things happen to the best of us. Stop beating yourself up, everything was okay and the fact that you care so much says a lot.

*DM was left outside the bakers and my grandmother went home with her shopping. Got home then realised something was missing 🤦🏻

She was in a pram at the time as a baby.*

My nan did this with my mum, twice 😅

When I was a teenager I rode past a friend's house on my bike and spotted her toddler brother wandering along beside the main road right in the middle of town.

I grabbed him and took him home - his Dad there and had no idea he's escaped! It's scary, OP, but it happens. Just be glad that he's fine and get the stairgate fixed right now.

Similar happened to me 32 years ago. We were staying with my parents and my Dad went out to work and left the front door open - not just unlocked, actually open! I was just getting DS2 (2) a drink and went back into the living room, and he wasn't there. I thought he had gone to the bedroom (it was a bungalow) so I went through and saw the open door.

Rushed out in a panic and met with the neighbour in her dressing gown and slippers bringing DS2 back (protesting) from down the street where he had been running in his footie jamas. I know exactly how you felt when I saw that open door - my stomach dropped and I went completely cold.

I was hypervigilant after that and really lost my temper with SIL when she left the same door open twice when she walked her dogs. I don't know what it was about that front door.

Some shithouse replies to this I hadn't expected. He's OK, you have a good neighbour that saw and brought him home safe and sound – don't beat yourself up over it.

My son went walkabout once in a wildlife park when he was maybe 5yrs old or so. Adults split up and shot to the most obvious spots calling him but there was no response so I alerted park staff. Remember the horrible gut wrenching feeling as the owners kicked in their lock-down policy with cars in and out temporarily stopped, staff sent to the highest risk areas i.e. riverside, animals behind electric fence etc.

Found him in the ladies loos and wouldn't mind we'd been in there twice, shouted for him but he just didn't call back.

I had the postman rock up with one of my dogs once. He'd got back to his van and found her sat on the front passenger seat like Jess from Postman Pat just waiting patiently for him cos Royal Mail posties are her favourite best thing. My heart dropped no more or less than it did when we'd misplaced a child more because until he brought her home I hadn't any idea she was out.

Don't beat yourself up. It happens. He's safe.