18 Month old just escaped house, freaking the fuck out :(

[TheFairPrincess]

Lovely neighbour just bought my toddler to me :( He escaped while I was on a work call, I didn't realise my partner had left the door unlocked. I feel absolutely sick.

A few months ago I unlocked the side gate to our garden, because I was about to take some plants over to our neighbour. While my back was turned my 2yo got tired of waiting, let herself out (didn't know she could reach the latch), and went walking down the street by herself. She was out of my sight for all of 30 seconds but I understand the sheer heart-stopping fear. Like others say, you'll do things differently next time.

Please don't beat yourself up. It happens!
When my son was about 2, I thought he was napping....and I was on the phone looking out of my front room window (luckily) and saw him RUNNING down the garden path! He'd managed to sneak out of 2 doors and down a flight of steps, I lived in a maisonette, on the 2nd floor. 😳

My brother at not much older escaped & had my mum frantically looking for him, she found him at my Grandads 5 minutes & 2 roads to cross away. He had knocked on the door & said he had come for some pennies.

You are not the only parent this happened to. A few months ago DH was driving through a housing estate in our nearest town and a toddler walked into the road in front of his car. She just stood there in her nappy and vest. DH estimated her to be 18 - 24 months as our DD was just under 3 and he knew this little one was younger than her. Mum hadn't realised she'd got out until DH stopped the car and took baby to knock on the door of the nearest house. Older (pre-school age) sibling left the door open apparently.

Parenting is like driving - sometimes you learn by your own mistakes and sometimes by seeing someone else make them and thinking "thank God I now won't do that". Deep breath. And thank your neighbour.

It happens more often than you think, don't be hard on yourself OP.

He's fine OP take a breath. We had an escape artist. We turned sitting room internal door handles upside down so he couldn't figure it out. Apparently I was the same as a child, I'd climb like a monkey over gates or out of my cot and when my parents would go to grab me I'd bolt.

DH and I always always locked the door for fear of this! But look, it's happened, your DC is fine thank god. It's a mistake...these things happen...forget about it and just remember for the future to check it's locked

All is fine, so don't beat yourself up. These things can and do happen.

I looked out the window one day to see a little one tootling on up the street on her own in a nappy and t shirt. I took her to her home and her poor mother was mortified. She hadn't even realised she had escaped. It was unnerving how easily I picked her up though and nobody said a thing. That was the scariest part about it.

Don't worry, this sort of thing has happened to us all, it's a rite of passage. No harm done

My dear OP, don´t beat yourself up about the what ifs, nothing happened full stop. Your dp will be more careful about locks next time. I escaped when I was 2, i was supposedly asleep and my mum went out onto the veranda to water some plants, next thing she saw was this little girl who for one split second she though resembled me...then when the truth sunk in, she ran like a lunatic down the stairs, out of the door across the street, where a kind lady stopped me and was asking where my mummy was...

It ended well, I bet you fell on your neighbour's neck! We have most of us been there in some way at some point. We had no downstairs loo and I left a crawling baby with toys on a rug in the garden to pop upstairs, only to see her from the bathroom window as I washed my hands go under the fence and bear crawl at speed down the path that ran between a cornfield and the back gardens of the rest of the terrace.

I think I took the stairs in three bounds, hurdled the hedge and was just in time to grab her by her clothing as she reached the road. Five seconds later and she would have been under the wheels of a grain lorry. Almost three decades ago and I still go cold.

Friend's precious adopted toddler opened the front door and had crossed a 60mph road and got into the wood opposite before she realised.

I once rescued a child in nappy and T shirt that wandered across a 4 lane highway in front of our car. Had to hawk him up and down the road until I found the barbecue party house he'd wandered out from. He hadn't even been missed.

Don't beat yourself up over it and don't let anyone else beat you up either! Lesson learned and no harm done, thankfully.

I did this at a similar age - pulled a chair over to the door and managed to unlock it so I could follow my dad to work. A neighbour found me too and returned me. No harm done at all. I can remember it so clearly though and it seemed like such a good plan to my toddler mind!

yeah it's less than ideal, but any parent who raises their kids without a single incident / trip to A&E is probably overbearing and suffocating and will fail to get the kids to independence by 18! Breath a sigh of relief, and put it behind you.

@DoubleEx

Why are you on work calls while looking after an 18 month old? Do you normally work while they’re in your care? Are you in sole charge? Where was your partner?

At that age you can’t take your eyes off them for a second.

So do you or anyone else never answer the phone while you have a young child in your care. This happened to be a work call, but it could just have easily been a friend calling. What a judgemental perfect person you seem to be.

I am struggling to forgive myself though, anything could have happened in that short time.

It didn’t. It didn’t. Please focus on that. You know know how it can happen, so it won’t happen again. Be kind to yourself; you’ve had an awful shock.

I would be very surprised if there was any parent who hadn't experienced a moment that could easily have turned tragic. Leaving the bathroom for 30 seconds when they're in the bath. Not securing a blind cord correctly. Leaving hot hair straighteners uncovered. Putting the bouncer on a high surface. Etc etc. We all do things every day that could go horribly wrong and thankfully, usually we get away with it. Don't beat yourself up, your DS is fine and that's all that matters.

Many parents, myself included, have had those heart in mouth moments. We thank our lucky stars, learn our lessons and move on!

I am a tad laid back tbh but my DH is a very careful and attentive dad, never lets the kids out of his sight. He once took our two year old into a shop and the two year old ran walked out onto the street whilst DH was paying. He was horrified. Sometimes even the best of us make mistakes/are unlucky.

Ah no, how scary! Don't beat yourself up OP. It very much sounds like it was a genuine accident, the door would normally be locked, but your partner forgot, and we're all human, we all forget things. Of course you can look after a toddler whilst on a work call, just for the duration of the school run. Hasn't everyone who's been WFH over the past 18 months been doing a version of this? Even if they're not on a work call, has noone ever answered the phone, replied to a WhatsApp, put a load of washing on whilst etc whilst in sole charge of a toddler? Who had their eyeballs on their child every second of the day? Anyone who is critical of this is a hypocrite imo.

My brother and sister walked 2 miles at 3 , to go find my mum at work, my aunt was SHOCKED when they arrived home an hour later with my mum, she had never even looked to see why they were quiet.

I have a theory that one thing like this, happens to every parent.
Awful when it does though.

I know EXACTLY how you feel OP. I am a terribly anxious and over protective mother, but when DS was three he got out of our front door and crossed a very busy main road without me realising he had left the house. I was trying on my wedding dress with family over and everyone assumed someone else was watching the kids iyswim. My stepdad had put something in the car, left the front door unlocked and out for a wander DS went.
He's ten now and I still feel sick with anxiety and guilt whenever I think about it, but now you'll double check in future preventing it happening again. Be kind to yourself, he is safe and fine.

I was that toddler once OP. A local lady recognised me and took me home. I’d literally crawled up the village high street. I’d escaped through the side gate that had been left open.

Oh my, I know how that feels.He’s back, he’s safe. Breathe. And then get extra security. You’ll laugh about it when he’s older, honest.

My toddler got up in the night once. She was a climber. She went down stairs, pulled a dining room chair to the door, unbolted it, took her little trike - with shopping basket - and went to the shops. She was reported to the police by the local milkman as it was only just after 5am. The police found where she had escaped from because she’d left the front door wide open. I was woken by a strange male voice shouting in my hallway...it was the police, thankfully. (I’m still sticking with thankfully despite recent events).

If she’s on here, she’ll laugh about it no doubt. Children, they keep you on your toes!

@peachgreen

I would be very surprised if there was any parent who hadn't experienced a moment that could easily have turned tragic. Leaving the bathroom for 30 seconds when they're in the bath. Not securing a blind cord correctly. Leaving hot hair straighteners uncovered. Putting the bouncer on a high surface. Etc etc. We all do things every day that could go horribly wrong and thankfully, usually we get away with it. Don't beat yourself up, your DS is fine and that's all that matters.

This is so true. One of mine got in the car to go out the other day and closed the car door themself, I drove off and it took me a while to realise I hadn't put their seatbelt on. Country roads as well so really quite dangerous. I felt sick too at the thought of what could have happened (and still do tbh). But the main thing is, nothing bad happened and I won't make that mistake again!

Most of us have had this happen. He is safe, everything is fine.
Some parents are lucky and have a toddler who never properly tries to escape. And some of us have toddlers who are little escape artists and shock us with what they are able to do.
I know its a shock. But you have to try and not think...what if. If all the what if things had happened to me, my kids, friends kids and many relatives kids would be dead.
Normally the very worst thing that happens with escaping toddlers is a stranger finds them, calls the police and you end up with the police and SS on your doorstep lecturing. Horrible, but your child will still be safe.
Hope you have a nice evening. And this can be a tale to tell when your grandchild escapes on day and you can reassure their parents that does not make them terrible parents.