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Original poster

18 Month old just escaped house, freaking the fuck out :(

152 replies

TheFairPrincess · 01/10/2021 14:53

Lovely neighbour just bought my toddler to me :( He escaped while I was on a work call, I didn't realise my partner had left the door unlocked. I feel absolutely sick.

OP posts:
HerRoyalRisesAgain · 01/10/2021 15:07

At least he's home safe and sound Flowers

bloodywhitecat · 01/10/2021 15:08

He did escape but he was found and he is OK. Your nerves are shredded but you will take lessons from this that you will learn from and never forget. Be kinder to yourself, even the most attentive parent in the world takes their eye off the ball sometimes, sometimes nothing happens in that split second but sometimes it does and , unfortunately, today it happened in your house but at the end of the day it was OK.

JelliedHeels · 01/10/2021 15:09

@DoubleEx

Why are you on work calls while looking after an 18 month old? Do you normally work while they’re in your care? Are you in sole charge? Where was your partner?

At that age you can’t take your eyes off them for a second.

RTFT you fool
CurlyhairedAssassin · 01/10/2021 15:09

What a shock for you. I bet you're still shaking. However, I think that particularly when you're distracted by a work call in future, it would be better to bring an 18 month old to where you can see them while you concentrate on the call and not assume that they're safely playing in the next room. How did a child that young reach the door handle, though? Confused

Reason being is that there was an awful story in the news during lockdown of a parent who took a work call and their toddler wandered out into the back garden and drowned in the hot tub. Again, was a set of circumstances which came together: broken patio door or hot tub lid lock or something, distracted by work call. It really shook me reading that, imagining the guilt that poor parent must feel forever more.

Original poster
TheFairPrincess · 01/10/2021 15:10

How did a child that young reach the door handle, though? confused

Exactly!! I honestly had no idea he could reach the front door handle.

OP posts:
GroggyLegs · 01/10/2021 15:11

Breathe, he is well & safe with you.
The positive to come from this is that it will never happen again.

Lots of cuddles & bath & lovely book, then when everyone is asleep, a drink/chocolate and/or comfort movie of your choice.

I've not been in your situation, but I've made plenty of other mistakes Flowers

Original poster
TheFairPrincess · 01/10/2021 15:11

You are all right with one thing though, there's no way this will happen again. I am still shaking but I feel much better now.

OP posts:
CornishGem1975 · 01/10/2021 15:11

My 20 month old can easily reach door handles so I do have to lock doors. He's also not against finding anything he can stand on to try and escape.

LanisHouseLot · 01/10/2021 15:12

Oh gosh most parents have a near miss story of some sort of other, especially with their first born, I know I do. Yes, you cannot take your eyes off them, but everyone does occasionally because we're human, and nothing usually goes wrong. He's OK - forgive yourself, see what you can learn from it then try to move on Flowers

LookAtMoiPloise · 01/10/2021 15:15

I don’t want to kick you when you’re down

Well that's exactly what you're doing. You probably enjoy it too.

NewMumma1819 · 01/10/2021 15:15

My toddler (22 months) has just started doing this too! Luckily my brother-in-law was stood out the front when he escaped the other day! We have strict rules now that if I'm here alone with him but cooking/cleaning etc, the door is locked!!!

Mindymomo · 01/10/2021 15:17

All part of being a parent, you can’t be everywhere. My DS nearly set the house on fire when he was playing ball in the kitchen after I had finished cooking and hob was still hot and I was getting his DB ready for a party. Another time my ceramic towel ring holder broke and left a jagged edge, same DS cut his knee on it and needed stitches. This was over 25 years ago and I still remember like it was yesterday.

FrownsAndDimples · 01/10/2021 15:18

I'm a bit stunned by the you can't possibly work and look after toddlers comments. What were we all doing during lockdown when the nurseries were shut?

CurlyhairedAssassin · 01/10/2021 15:19

You just have to count your blessings that it was all ok in the end. I remember the pure heart stopping fear when my 6 year old disappeared in a large supermarket. God, the fear, running up and down the aisle shouting his name, while all the while thinking I was possibly making things worse, because if some wierdo had him in the store and heard his name and used it, DS would have assumed it was ok to go with him. I had the story of the little British military girl who disappeared from a supermarket in Germany running through my head. Plus on FB earlier that week I'd seen a warning about someone approaching children in that particular Tescos. Plus, Madeleine McCann's grandparents live in this area so was uppermost in my mind. God, I was CONVINCED he'd been abducted. It was terrifying.

I had literally walked a few steps away to pick something off the shelf and when i turned round he was gone. When a nice kind lady overheard me asking a member of staff for help in locating him, she went to look for him, and as I was heading towards the tills with a member of staff, dreading the point I was going to have to speak to the police and make a statement, and call my husband etc etc, there the nice lady was walking towards me holding my son's hand. God, the relief, I could have cried. He had decided it was a good idea to take himself off and look at Xbox games. Hmm

So I do understand the guilt. I felt like I should have been keeping a closer eye on him. But it was all ok. Don't torture yourself, just maybe learn from it.

ballsdeep · 01/10/2021 15:20

[quote TheFairPrincess]Thank you so much for the kind answers

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 01/10/2021 15:21

Dont be hard on yourself. The truth is it could have happened when you were on the toilet. In our case, I was changing g the babies nappy... thats when we found out she could unbolt the garden gate (and try to follow Daddy to work.) With our younger DD... we found she could climb up onto a coffee table, unlock the living window and climb out- luckily we caught her doing that Houdini maneuvere!

All you can do is block of that escape route. React to anything they take an interest in. And ignore perfect parents who escaped similar incidents by luck, not superiority.

Shellfishblastard · 01/10/2021 15:21

Sounds so scary OP.

Agree with the others though - he is ok, so try not to be too hard on yourself now.

As parents we all usually go through at least one scary event like this - it makes us stop and make changes to make sure it doesn’t happen again. And that’s the most important thing.

Next time you’ll do it differently

MrsTerryPratchett · 01/10/2021 15:25

Everything came together in an absolute shitstorm.

You're lucky yours isn't mine. She was a complete Houdini. I had to behave like a prison guard. I once fitted an extra high lock on the front door, when she was about 2, went to the loo and came back to find her on a chair fiddling with it. I choose to see it as a sign of intelligence but it was nerve-gangling at the time.

She's the same at 10. Wanting to walk alone to school, stay home on nights, walk the dog to the park alone, everything I will allow. She'll be backpacking in Ethiopia at 19, I know she will

jellybe · 01/10/2021 15:26

I think every parent at some point has had some sort of scare like this.

Please don't beat yourself up. DC is okay and this won't happen again.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 01/10/2021 15:26

There's one thing I would say, though, I think your partner needs to accept most of the blame for this. He should have locked the door behind him. No excuses. You're going to have to instruct him to do this in future.

Original poster
TheFairPrincess · 01/10/2021 15:27

@CurlyhairedAssassin thanks so much, and yes that sounds so scary! It's the worst feeling isn't it x

OP posts:
TidyDancer · 01/10/2021 15:28

This happened with my godson at a similar age. He took himself out the front door because his dad had left it open while going out to the car and he was on his way to the park when a neighbour found him. Apparently he'd picked some flowers on the way as well.

His mum just about shit her pants, it's not great but it happened and you just have to chalk it up to a scary experience.

Fruitloopcowabunga · 01/10/2021 15:29

Been there, done that - toddler learnt to open Yale lock and escaped, fortunately found him pottering happily in the garden. You live and learn that they're cannier than you realise. He's fine, didn't come to any harm, you now know to double lock. When my DH was a toddler he not only escaped the house but got on the bus (tailgated someone) and had a little trip into town. It's a favourite family story

CurlyhairedAssassin · 01/10/2021 15:33

Just remembered that my sister walked out of infant school (Reception, I think) with her friend. God know what they thought they were doing. Luckily they didn't get very far (but had crossed a road) before being spotted by a classmate's mum who was in her front garden. This was in the 80s when schools were a bit less hot on safeguarding I suppose! Had they not been spotted by the mum they would have headed towards the linear park, and there were always a few wierdos hanging around there. I bet the school had a heart attack when they realised 2 of their kids had gone missing.

Bigassbeebuzzbuzz · 01/10/2021 15:33

OP I've been there looked up one day to see ds2 dad pelting down the road and come back with ds2 about a minute later. Old dc had left the back gate open. Fright of my life. We laugh about it now and you will too one day.