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Original poster

18 Month old just escaped house, freaking the fuck out :(

152 replies

TheFairPrincess · 01/10/2021 14:53

Lovely neighbour just bought my toddler to me :( He escaped while I was on a work call, I didn't realise my partner had left the door unlocked. I feel absolutely sick.

OP posts:
dualteaching · 01/10/2021 16:03

Several safeguards failed simultaneously today, and you could not have anticipated this. Thankfully, DC was found by a helpful neighbour. You have ordered the gate, and probably will give your partner a reminder to ensure the door is closed and fully locked at all times.

You are doing fine, OP. Please don't beat yourself up over this, or think about the 'what ifs'.

If you do find yourself needing to field more work calls in the future, perhaps a play pen filled with some of DC's favourite toys might be of use and ease your mind. I know they are not as popular in the UK, but my family on the continent swears by them as a way to keep their babies and toddlers safe, while they need to cook, answer the door, take a shower, etc.

Mariell · 01/10/2021 16:04

Get an old fashioned wooden playpen that you can put youngster in whilst you have to take a call/go to the toilet:answer the door etc.

Evenstar · 01/10/2021 16:09

My DS1 was a complete nightmare, very tall for his age and although he was late walking could pull himself up to an unbelievable height and I undo doors. We had window locks, Chubb bolts on internal doors and a bolt which was always fastened at the top of the front door. We used to have to check anywhere we went for any possible escape route. He was nearly always on reins unless he was strapped into the buggy or his car seat.

Despite all these precautions he got out of a toddler group at around your DS’s age and was found playing in a puddle in the village hall car park (by me thankfully as I had realised he was missing) and also gave us the slip at a theme park for half an hour at 3 years old when he found a hidden exit from a playground.

Don’t feel too bad, most of us slip up at some point even with a known escapologist like mine. Just make sure the door is fastened now you know he can reach.

julieca · 01/10/2021 16:09

I agree that playpens are brilliant, especially for little escape artists. It means not only can you take a phone call, but you can put the washing in, take a shower or do other normal things for 15 minutes while knowing your child is safe.
I think they got a bad name because a small number of parents left their toddlers in them for hours and hours. So HV became concerned about them. But as a safety measure they are brilliant.

ItsNotMeAnymore · 01/10/2021 16:11

I’d be pretty sure most parents have had similar WTF moments. It happens.

Caspianberg · 01/10/2021 16:11

I don’t know how everyone on here manages to spend every second glued to child

My 17 month old managed to climb to dining room table earlier whilst I was on phone to electrician and had my head in electric switch board 2metres away from him. I literally turned away for about 30 seconds. I didn’t even know he could get on the dining chair yet, let alone on and higher to the table

Sonarl · 01/10/2021 16:14

This has happened or nearly happened to all of us. Please don't beat yourself up. My kids are older but I remember how hard it was to work through the younger years. Something bad could have happened. It didn't. Move on, don't stress too much about it. That has been my approach over the years and everyone is fine!

olidora63 · 01/10/2021 16:16

OP …try and be kind to yourself. A similar thing happened to my daughter 26 years ago. A carpet fitter left our gate open and I was distracted by my newborn and my daughter was found at the rec…about 100 feet away ! She was looking for clip clops …horses !
Make yourself a cuppa ,eat some chocolate and breath!!💐

Poolhater · 01/10/2021 16:18

Please don’t beat yourself up. DC is safe. Your partner needs a rocket for not locking the door, but your DC is safe. 💐

Yummymummy2020 · 01/10/2021 16:19

It happens. You get an awful fright, my friend had the exact same thing happen to her too. Mine are forever trying to escape 😂 I’m glad they are ok and please don’t beat yourself up. Nobody is perfect and it only takes a second for these things to happen!

RestingPandaFace · 01/10/2021 16:20

There is no point torturing yourself, it happened, he is OK. Now you know he can reach the door handle you can stop it
happening again. Deep breath, cup of tea kill husband for not locking the door Grin

JamieNorthlife · 01/10/2021 16:21

Op, they can be very speedy at 18 month. It's a very scary experience and the important is that your DC is home and safe.

OP may be in shock and needs some time to process what just happened. She needs support, thats it. If you don't have anything supportive just move away from the computer or to a different thread.

Some posters are pure nasty and should not be allowed to have a computer or be online.

HarlanPepper · 01/10/2021 16:22

"I don't want to kick you while you're down"... proceeds to kick the OP when she's down

LowlandLucky · 01/10/2021 16:25

Don't beat yourself up about it x

Loki01 · 01/10/2021 16:25

It happened to me as well. It freaked me out and it never happened again. Don't beat yourself up for it.

toothpicklover · 01/10/2021 16:25

Christ there's some right sanctimonious people on here today.

Toddlers are little mischief makers and can escape in seconds, it's easily done.

I lost mine at Peppa Pig World. Spoke to him stood up to get something out of bag, turned back to him and he'd gone. It was seconds. Luckliy got him back, well not so lucky having to carrying on listening to blood peppa pig tunes Grin

HarrisMcCoo · 01/10/2021 16:30

DS tumbled down stairs in our front garden when I was chatting in my living room with a neighbour who was in with her DC. One of her DC opened the front door and DS just wandered out (he was almost 2yo at the time). We had got caught up in conversation. Luckily he had a small graze on his forehead and was monitored but was okay. Lesson learned. Been constantly vigilant ever since.

As others have said OP, you have learned your lesson. It can happen to the best of us💐

Bonkersornot · 01/10/2021 16:31

OP don’t be hard on yourself ....whatever people say, I’m sure every one of us as parents will have had some ‘near miss’ or event that’s happened, I know I have! We learn from these things ... have a glass of something tonight and don’t beat yourself up about the ‘what if’s’....

Staryflight445 · 01/10/2021 16:35

It’s interesting how the responses would be different here if we were discussing an 18 month old hit by a car or still missing. Or the sighting of a child in just a nappy.

I don’t need to tell you what could’ve happened op or how lucky you are that by chance your neighbour spotted him, you’ve clearly learned a lot today and had one of the worst parenting moments ever.
I’m sure you’ve considered it all which is why you’ve posted, to not feel like the only one.
You’re not the only one, but the responses are weird.

It happens but we absolutely shouldn’t try and normalise it.

balernobetty · 01/10/2021 16:35

Op there are very few parents that have not had something like this happen to them. Maybe not their dc leaving the house but something that turned out ok but could have been disastrous through a lapse in concentration.
He's safe, focus on that and don't beat yourself up.
Now that it's happened once you will ensure it never happens again.

bumblingbovine49 · 01/10/2021 16:35

DS ran off when he about 2 once. DH, DS, my sister and BIL were together on holiday and we all went into a shop with DS to get some food. It was one of those situations where everyone thought someone else had DS. I noticed he was missing first and as it was a small shop,.it was clear quickly that he had left the premises. As we ran out to look for him I could hear very very loud wailing coming from up the road . DS had obviously just realised he couldn't find us and was making his unhappiness at this known. There was a couple who had stopped him and were knelt down trying to talk to him so he hasn't got too far but the thought of him running into the road was all I could think about for those few seconds I didn't know where he was. Luckily he has stayed on the pavement on the same side of the road.

Try not to dwell on it OP, we've all made mistakes and it all turned out ok in the end

TheNoodlesIncident · 01/10/2021 16:36

My 2yo DS opened the front door - how I have no idea, it was on the Yale lock - and I found him in the front garden. So lucky he didn't open the gate as we lived on a very busy road. Equally horrifying was the time he left the shop we were in and went off exploring by himself. He was four then and not remotely savvy. I hunted for him in the shop then legged it outside. I had to call his name (horrible as he didn't respond and I hate drawing attention to myself like that). Nobody took any notice of my desperate search. I eventually found him round the corner watching the buses, but both these incidents have aged me, it was so horrible not knowing where he was Sad

My friend's child used bricks to make a little staircase to get over the garden wall, he was brought back by a neighbour who reported that she spotted him nearly at the beach (they lived on an island)...

Also as a child I went missing in a park that had a mere in it, I understand now how my mum felt as all the adults were searching for me. All the worst possible outcomes go through your head!

It happens, we live and learn. And get a few more grey hairs.

Embracelife · 01/10/2021 16:37

@TheFairPrincess

He usually goes with him to do the school run but he is teething and I said it would be fine to live him here as I have very little work at the moment. Had a completely unexpected phone call and by really unfortunate coincidence the hallway stairgate has just broken today.

Everything came together in an absolute shitstorm. I'm an anxious and overly cautious mother and yet this somehow happened? He's wondering the fucking street in a nappy

So now you know If you in charge Work waits. Unless you lock toddler in room with you. It s fine. But you learn from it. Do t beat yourself up Just learn.
JoshLymanIsHotterThanSam · 01/10/2021 16:40

My mum left me with a shelf stacked in Asda and drive the whole way home before she realised she hadn’t got me when I was 18 months old Grin

CurlyhairedAssassin · 01/10/2021 16:40

I left a crawling baby with toys on a rug in the garden to pop upstairs, only to see her from the bathroom window as I washed my hands go under the fence and bear crawl at speed down the path that ran between a cornfield and the back gardens of the rest of the terrace.

I think some people see danger more readily than others maybe. There is no way I would EVER think to leave a baby on their own in the garden, especially one who is able to crawl. How come you didn't take the baby upstairs to their cot while you went to the toilet? I don't think I would even leave a baby in the garden unattended like that even if I had a downstairs toilet.