Sarah Everard thread 2

[HangingOver]

Keep venting.

Original thread here www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4362028-Anyone-follow-the-coverage-of-the-Sarah-Everard-case-today-and-want-to-vent?pg=1

@MrsRobbieHart

The thing with “pedo Kennedy” is because he is in fact a pedo, and they know it.

Yes, and is then protected by a senior colleague who knew exactly what he was up to. I know it's a comedy show, and not RL and a few years ago now, but reflective of RL enough to be written in and found funny.

I'd like to see crimes of violence against women and girls included as hate crimes.

Why is it worse to kill someone for the colour of their skin, or because they have a disability, but not to kill them because they have 2 X chromosomes?

I totally agree @LakieLady

What I can't understand is why that isn't already the case when they are all protected characteristics in law. 😒😡

@Poetrypatty

Cressida Dick ought to resign and there needs to be a proper review about the whole culture of the Met. The handling of the vigil was so disgusting - the way the police steamed in doesn't tie in with what they're saying about how oh so horrified they were. They should have been standing side by side with women at the vigil not arresting them.

Totally agree.

I need to vent. I'm so fucking angry. When George Floyd was killed the world quite rightly reacted. Where's everyone now? Doesn't it matter because it was 'only' a woman killed? Just had a row with DH about it as he doesn't get why I'm so angry or that I can be angry about things without being angry AT him.

I'm sick of not being able to do what I want, wear what I want etc because of men.

To Sarah’s mum. That victim impact statement was devastating.

It does feel like finally there is going to be a change. For so long women being murdered has just been white noise. Karen Ingala-Smith did amazing guest post about how 77 women have been murdered between Sarah Everard and Sabrina Nessa. They don’t all get noticed but at least we are starting to get angry about this.

All of the police officers I spoke to when I was a victim of DV were men. I had the strongest feeling with one of the that he was on my husbands side. My cousin was abused by her partner who was a police officer. The met need to realise that things need to change radically. Their statements when both Sarah and Sabina were killed said it was an Isolated incident. They were not isolated incidents. The murders were part of a wider pattern of male violence and abuse in society. We need to treat this like terrorism.

Cressida Dick’s “statement” is an absolute disgrace
I found it abhorrent that she just juxtaposed her own professional development targets with yet another life of a woman laid to waste

Words are not enough

@Siablue

I read every word of Sarah’s Mother’s statement after a gruelling day with my own children. The pain and disbelief for that woman is too much to comprehend and I felt ashamed of reducing myself to squabbles about shoes and getting out of the door in the face of such overwhelming anguish and heartbreak

Those words were so difficult to read and she should never have to written them. They will stay with me - and I suspect many many of us - for a very long time

@MyGhastIsFlabbered I guess it depends how you look at it. The way I see it is that the police have been killing black men for years and no one gave a shit.

[quote Porcupineintherough]@MyGhastIsFlabbered I guess it depends how you look at it. The way I see it is that the police have been killing black men for years and no one gave a shit.[/quote]
And black women

@MyGhastIsFlabbered

I need to vent. I'm so fucking angry. When George Floyd was killed the world quite rightly reacted. Where's everyone now? Doesn't it matter because it was 'only' a woman killed? Just had a row with DH about it as he doesn't get why I'm so angry or that I can be angry about things without being angry AT him.

I'm sick of not being able to do what I want, wear what I want etc because of men.

The world reacted because the black community rose up and protested. Protestors gave their lives, 9 people were killed in protests.

We need to rise up too, not rely on BLM.

@Siablue

To Sarah’s mum. That victim impact statement was devastating.

It does feel like finally there is going to be a change. For so long women being murdered has just been white noise. Karen Ingala-Smith did amazing guest post about how 77 women have been murdered between Sarah Everard and Sabrina Nessa. They don’t all get noticed but at least we are starting to get angry about this.

All of the police officers I spoke to when I was a victim of DV were men. I had the strongest feeling with one of the that he was on my husbands side. My cousin was abused by her partner who was a police officer. The met need to realise that things need to change radically. Their statements when both Sarah and Sabina were killed said it was an Isolated incident. They were not isolated incidents. The murders were part of a wider pattern of male violence and abuse in society. We need to treat this like terrorism.

Ughhh this is so bloody true

Been through court due to d v and all involved with statements etc where male

Heard disclosing certain things to them

Also - a male barrister totally tried to minimise how the creepy perpetrator had abused my child
I lost it that day

Fck this system

And all the innocent women suffering

Compare Sarah's Mother's statement with Cressida Dicks.

How can Cressida Dick carry on? Shameful from top down. Blame must be placed by ppl making the decisions that allowed WC to do this?

Because he could/should have been stopped

I want to scream "How could he still have his bloody warrant card?? why after the indecent exposures did "the rapist" still have power???????

I am furious.
I am devastated for sarah's loved ones

And fucking angry that the last insult is by the media-despite Sarah's parents asking for her pic not to be displayed by his-it's everywhere.

I can’t stop thinking about Sarah ever since we heard what happened to her in March it just makes the world feel so very grim and all the other women like Libby Squires who have met their ends on horrible dark nights alone and terrified . It just hurts that even if we have men in our lives who try to empathise with how we feel that there’s always some scummy warped bastard around . I feel like I am ranting but I am angry and sad and lost with what happens next the murder of poor Sabrina as well it’s just such a heavy time .

And fucking angry that the last insult is by the media-despite Sarah's parents asking for her pic not to be displayed by his-it's everywhere

Yes how disrespectful to her family. It's on the front of papers tomorrow as well. I'm really angry about this too. Totally understandable why her family asked for those pictures not to be displayed together and that should be the norm anyway.

[quote Porcupineintherough]@MyGhastIsFlabbered I guess it depends how you look at it. The way I see it is that the police have been killing black men for years and no one gave a shit.[/quote]
Maybe. I guess I'm just too worked up to think coherently. I never meant to draw comparisons or make out that black lives were less important than womens I'm still annoyed with DH who said 'more men are murdered than women every day'. To which I replied, murdered BY MEN. He still can't see that men are the problem

@Cadent

*The world reacted because the black community rose up and protested. Protestors gave their lives, 9 people were killed in protests.

We need to rise up too, not rely on BLM.*

Agreed, I also don't think its a good idea to set the two movements up in opposition to each other (I am not saying that is what @MyGhastIsFlabbered was doing or not deliberately). Just that it is really easy to fall into the trap of saying "why do people care about black men and not women" on the one hand and "why do people only care about white women and not black lives" on the other. And then rather than fixing the issue two movements end up being set up against each other - or swinging from one issue to the other - so in 2016 we care about women, then in 2020 its black lives, then 2021 forget about black lives its back to women. Because then nothing actually changes.
Its not as if we have to choose between the police murdering women or the police murdering black people. They really should be capable of doing neither. And I'm a woman and my son is (or will) be a black man. I really would prefer it if neither of us were brutally killed.

The world reacted because the black community rose up and protested. Protestors gave their lives, 9 people were killed in protests.

I agree. And police officers had been killing black men and women in large numbers for years without any consequences at all. George Floyd's death was the trigger for the protest movement because it was so visible, so blatant, it had even been videoed.

Anyone been following Guardian coverage this week and headline today: https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2021/oct/01/make-tackling-violence-against-women-a-police-priority-says-victims-tsar?CMP=ShareiOSAppp_Other

I agree about the media splashing WC’s picture everywhere. The only pictures they should use are of Sarah, full stop.

There’s a school of thought that perpetrators of serious crime should not be named, beyond the bare minimum, and their pictures should not be shown, again unless it’s part of the investigation and then only used as infrequently as possible. Everything should be about the victim, not the criminal.

A couple of posters have already mentioned Libby Squire.
Libby was raped and murdered by a stranger, a man with a history of flashing and voyeurism.
Libby's mum wants a change in the law, so that so-called low-level sex offences are taken more seriously, to try and prevent the offender from escalating their behaviour.

article here

@SylviaTrench

A couple of posters have already mentioned Libby Squire. Libby was raped and murdered by a stranger, a man with a history of flashing and voyeurism. Libby's mum wants a change in the law, so that so-called low-level sex offences are taken more seriously, to try and prevent the offender from escalating their behaviour.

article here

I think this is so important.

But I don’t think therapy is the answer (as per the article). These people need locking up or 24/7 monitoring. It’s not like they don’t know these things are wrong, its precisely because they know they’re wrong that they enjoy doing them. No amount of therapy can change that.

I’ve been the victim of a stranger indecent assault and it was the most terrifying experience of my life and yet even now when I tell people often people snigger. Attitudes need to change.

@CaveMum

I agree about the media splashing WC’s picture everywhere. The only pictures they should use are of Sarah, full stop.

There’s a school of thought that perpetrators of serious crime should not be named, beyond the bare minimum, and their pictures should not be shown, again unless it’s part of the investigation and then only used as infrequently as possible. Everything should be about the victim, not the criminal.

Showing their photo in the media shouldn't be allowed. Only the victim matters here.

It's almost like glorifying what he has done. Completely wrong.

Susan Everard's statement moved me to tears, and I'm quite stoic. I can feel her pain, as a mother.

For those asking how can his fellow policeman have though it was funny to call him 'the rapist' - they didn't.

What I read was that when he worked in a garage the female car owner customers felt uncomfortable speaking with him, making his car-mechanic colleagues jokingly call him 'the rapist'.

And this only came out after his arrest went public and those men remembered him.

He joined the police much later in life than most.

Nobody in the police knew he had that nickname.

He was never a regular "bobby on the beat type" policeman. Even in Kent he worked in a nuclear unit then into diplomatic protection.

@IndecentCakes

Susan Everard's statement moved me to tears, and I'm quite stoic. I can feel her pain, as a mother.

I read it and howled with rage and grief. The pain she is going through, I can't even begin to imagine it.

I was chatting with a friend and one of the things that really bothers me in this case is the total imbalance in the power everyone had over the situation. Sarah was totally powerless, like I really think there was nothing she could have done to save herself. But before it happened so, so, so many people had the power to stop it from happening. Or at least try to. And they didn't. Well, some women did - the ones who reported his indecent exposure and the colleague who reported him for assault (although I'm not sure of the veracity of this as I think I've only read it on here). Awful that the appropriate action wasn't taken. Shame on those who knew what he was like and said and did nothing.