Anyone follow the coverage of the Sarah Everard case today and want to vent?

[HangingOver]

I'm home alone today and except for whatsapping my friends have nothing to do with this incandescent rage and hopeless sadness.

Anyone else need to talk?

I hope he dies a slow and painful death. My stomach is sick to think of the moment she realised it wasn't legit, she must've been petrified.
He is pure evil and I believe wholeheartedly she is not his first victim.

@DoraMaude

It's one of the worst things I've ever read. That poor woman. However he is the one to blame - I don't think we should diminish this in any way by seeking to hold anyone else to account. He is an evil man who was entirely responsible for this. Not all men. Not the police.

We all (including all men) participate in a society and culture that leads to things like this happing and being able to happen. You don't get women doing this to men or women police officers doing this to civilian men.

It comes across as a rather snide question tbh, given the fact that there has already been criticism of the coverage and response to the case (Google it if you don’t know). However, I’ll bite… it’s the abuse of what should have been a position of trust, the thought of how afraid she must have been, and the missed chances to stop the bastard. My dad was a police officer and I don’t have a lot of time for them. I know how they look after their own. But this goes a long way beyond that. I’m so angry for her. I’m angry for any woman who is put through such a terrible thing. But this thread is about Sarah.

@LukeEvansWife
For me it's that she was snatched off the street & taken away and she must have known/feared what was to come. It's that aspect that upsets so much. I think it hit a nerve with many women that feel scared walking alone. The realisation of worst fear for this poor woman.

[quote Northernshepherd]@LukeEvansWife
For me it's that she was snatched off the street & taken away and she must have known/feared what was to come. It's that aspect that upsets so much. I think it hit a nerve with many women that feel scared walking alone. The realisation of worst fear for this poor woman.[/quote]
Thank you. I appreciate the answer. I get it now.

It's so easy to let someone off and label them as mentally ill when they are anything but - as I think Sarah's attacker isn't really mentally ill, just evil.

Personally I think calling him evil is a cop out too. There was no other worldly force at play here. This was just normal male behaviour allowed to go unchecked by our society. Not evil, entirely human. We need to own this.

@LukeEvansWife

Its really not a snark - so no, I won't go away.

It is a genuine question. The vigils etc for Sarah were fairly high profile but I want to know what about this specific case has started all of it. I am asking as a woman who sees the world as a dangerous place, but no more so than, say, ten years ago.

If you don't want to answer, that's fine. But no need to be arsey about it.

This is a thread to share our horror and upset about the details of Sarah's murder that are being reported. Please don't derail. Start a separate thread.

What you should ask is more why aren’t women up in arms for every single of those cases and making life hell to those who support a system that allows that to happen?

Just women?

Are you new to life or do you just not pay much attention?

Neither, thank you. Having been raped as a 15 yo virgin, and beaten several times, I am not stupid or naive. I just having gone through reams of Google about it.

It is just unimaginably awful

Fine - I'm out. Thank you to the civil ones.

@LukeEvansWife this case hits home for me because it could have been any one of us. I have a loving DH who would never lay a hand on me, I don't have to sell my body to pay the bills. But still I can't walk down the street without being at risk. Just like Sarah. And I'm not saying at all that violence committed by a partner or a creep who pays for sex is any less awful but it feels more remote and less like it will affect me. This case really shines a light on the massive fear that some women feel all the time and the fact that all of us have at least a bit of fear.

Not all men, not even one page in? Really? Fuck all men.

@LukeEvansWife

Yes dear, it's because she was lured into a car to her death by man in a position of public trust, who should not have been in that position due to past behaviour that had been ignored by the police.

Thank you DEAR (patronising much). I am aware of the circumstances. But as people are saying, the police is corrupt as hell and the most appalling things are done by them. So I am trying to work out the difference between her case and the other tragic, appalling, heartbreaking cases

You can focus your conversation on one case whilst caring about all cases.

That aside, this was an absolutely preventable murder. It’s despicable.

@LukeEvansWife

Are you new to life or do you just not pay much attention?

Neither, thank you. Having been raped as a 15 yo virgin, and beaten several times, I am not stupid or naive. I just having gone through reams of Google about it.

You wouldn’t need to have gone through reams of google it’s pretty hard to avoid the huge numbers of women being murdered by men.

It's such a distressing thing.

I went for a walk in the woods alone with my dog last night. It was pitch black and I had a torch. I know my dog would bark at anyone coming our way so I felt safe in the respect that I would be forewarned of anyone passing by.

But really unless my dog decides to bit the shit out of someone trying to get me. I'm not really safe.

I won't stop going. I like the peace and quiet. And my dog needs to be walked off lead at least once a day.

But it does play on my mind sometimes.

It’s an absolutely horrific crime, I feel very upset today too. Her poor family, and I really feel for his wife and children as well. Just devastating.

I thought the same. The people who saw her being "arrested" must be kicking themselves, but also most likely know that they'd have gone to the car "voluntarily" too if it were the other way around. I also remember saying to my husband that it's odd that they didn't discuss the fact she'd potentially breached COVID regulations at the time, unknowing that was the whole premise of his approach. It's so frustrating knowing that there were so many missed opportunities on the Met's side to prevent this from happening.

I live not far from there, am the same age and look pretty similar. The photo that they released of her in a green jacket and black/white trousers is an uncanny likeness of what I must have looked like that same night.

LukeEvansWife
Because he was a police officer in a position of power, supposed to keep us safe. He'd been reported for other offences relating to women and yet he was still allowed to carry on as normal with his warrant card.
I know I get upset whenever I hear of yet another woman being murdered or abused and I'm sure others do too. For me this is especially horrific because it undermines trust in the police, in their vetting procedures, their attitude to crimes against women and their willingness to investigate allegations against one of their own. All this against the backdrop of increasing violence against women and a shitty justice system that lets women down, it makes me feel as though men are not being held accountable for their actions and no matter how much attention these cases get, it ultimately ends up returning to the status quo. Just so sick of it being something women are supposed to solve or prevent.

It has made my blood run cold.

He used lockdown as a reason to “arrest” her. Imagine how scary that alone is for the average person.

Then the fear she must have felt when she realised that he wasn’t taking her to a police station, as they travelled for over an hour into the middle of nowhere. Then he rapes her, while she is handcuffed, in the back of the car with enough force to cause bleeding.

Then he strangled her with his police belt.

After this he went for a hot chocolate and Bakewell tart at Costa.

And there’s still another day of details to go through tomorrow. We’ve not heard anything about his indecent exposures yet, or what he was talking to women on adultwork about.

Such horrific circumstances.

What do we tell our children about the police after this? That we should continue to trust them, to get in a car with them if asked to? Or should be all be telling our children not to go with an officer in these sorts of circumstances, even if it means they may get in bigger trouble if it’s legit? Genuinely just so awful. He was in such a position of power.

@LukeEvansWife

I have a question.

With the amount of male violence, what is it about this case that has upset people so much? Unfortunately, women get raped, beaten, murdered by men all the time. Do you cry over them all or was there something about this that triggered that reaction?

I'll have a go. I think it's because she did everything women are told to do to keep themselves safe. She walked home via a well-lit, busy road, not late at night, not wearing anything that could be viewed as provocative. She didn't willingly get in a car with an unknown man. It's something I remember being taught to fear as a child - being snatched, Sarah Payne, Miller Dowler - but much less so as an adult woman. And the fact that her ordeal seems to have been prolonged. She must have known what was going to happen for some time and it's unbearable to think of.

I apologise if I have upset anyone - it wasn't my intention but it was obviously inappropriate

Absolutely sick making. How fucking terrified she must have been. Reminds me of that awful case a few years ago where journalist Kim Wall was brutally murdered by that Danish inventor in his submarine. No way of running, no way of escaping, for either Sarah or Kim.

*Millie