Anyone follow the coverage of the Sarah Everard case today and want to vent?

[HangingOver]

I'm home alone today and except for whatsapping my friends have nothing to do with this incandescent rage and hopeless sadness.

Anyone else need to talk?

@MrsRobbieHart

How come this news that people saw her being arrested is only being released now? Did they not report it at the time she was missing or they did but the police didn’t release it?

The police wouldn't normally release every detail of their leads / suspects in a case until they actually need to. The fact that they nailed Couzens so quickly probably shows that at least they acted on the intelligence.

I am absolutely furious. And how anyone can say it’s not only the perpetrator’s fault - wasn’t he reported years before AND the day before for flashing? And it was taken SO seriously that he was allowed to continue in a position of power which he abused to plan and execute a kidnap, rape and murder. I keep thinking what she will have gone through on that drive and after.

I feel so sad for her and her family. She never stood a chance. None of us would have stood a chance. I’m so upset.

Bastard. The utter bastard.

I’m so angry and sad for her that I can’t formulate anything more coherent than that. Dear god. That bastard.

@BeenAsFarAsMercyAndGrand @FlorenceWintle. Thank you both. I wasn’t thinking. Knee jerk post. Of course they wouldn’t release the ID of their main suspect before arresting him.

I keep thinking about how scared she must have felt as she slowly realised the truth

Me too. It makes me cry.

It feels so depressing to be a woman right now.

The people who witnessed the arrest risky realise what it really was. How horrendous they must feel now, if only they had realised.

I lived in a country where women were routinely sexually assaulted in police custody. We were told not to get arrested if we could help it, make sure someone knew where we were, avoid the police if at all possible.

We knew about the sexism in the police force. We knew about endemic sexual harassment and assault in pretty much all the institutions we are supposed to trust, from the army to charities. This is where it leads. It's not isolated or a one-off. It's the normal distribution of behaviour in a society that allows misogyny as standard.

I'm glad there's a thread on this. I can't remember being so angry and hurt for ages. @Ghostsintheshelf has expressed what I think perfectly. I sincerely hope that he suffers even a tiny part of the fear that Sarah Everard did when he's in prison. And I think it's absolutely shocking that he was able to still have the equipment of a police officer when he was under investigation. So much wrong here and it's made me so angry and sad. She had no chance against him.

Tintin your post is awful and I've reported it. On the day that details of this horrific crime are being reported you are attacking her loved ones simply because they are men. I find that totally out of order.

The patriarchy is endemic in society - that is men and women. Yes, men need to stand up to misogyny, we all do. But to say that some of her loved ones, whose hearts have been broken by this awful crime, are indirectly to blame because they are men, is beyond the pale.

I have a question.

With the amount of male violence, what is it about this case that has upset people so much? Unfortunately, women get raped, beaten, murdered by men all the time. Do you cry over them all or was there something about this that triggered that reaction?

He is an evil man who was entirely responsible for this. Not all men. Not the police.

At least 15 serving or former police have killed women in UK since 2009

This case sometimes makes me think that the police haven't moved on from the 1970s, when they wanted to impose a curfew on women because, by virtue of their institutional misogyny, they had failed to catch the Yorkshire Ripper for so long. Couzens should not have had his warrant card. Had that been they case, Sarah would still be alive today.

LukeEvansWife that sounds like a snark dressed up as a "genuine question" [head tilt]

Just go away I don't have to justify why I started this thread.

It is such upsetting reading. her poor family.

Years ago my mum told me that if I was driving at night on my own and there was a police (garda) stop point, I should keep driving straight to the nearest station and explain but I was not to stop even for what seemed to be police.

He was accused of flashing. I think there is a collective responsibility for police/men/society that sees "minor" sexual assaults as something inconsequential or even a bit of a laugh. They are not. It is like one of the biggest indicators of people who commit mass shootings in the US is previous "domestic" violence.

I can't even bear to think of her last hours of life.

Bastard.

@LukeEvansWife

I have a question.

With the amount of male violence, what is it about this case that has upset people so much? Unfortunately, women get raped, beaten, murdered by men all the time. Do you cry over them all or was there something about this that triggered that reaction?

You may have missed the many many many threads on aspects of this. There are probably thousands.

Try the Feminist section to start.

I feel (as a woman) so defeated reading about this.

There was at least two other times he could’ve been caught before he hurt Sarah, yet he was never even looked in to let alone charged. So sick and tired of reading about how he just came across as a wonderful guy, a “family man”.

ALL THE SIGNS WERE THERE!!

Its really not a snark - so no, I won't go away.

It is a genuine question. The vigils etc for Sarah were fairly high profile but I want to know what about this specific case has started all of it. I am asking as a woman who sees the world as a dangerous place, but no more so than, say, ten years ago.

If you don't want to answer, that's fine. But no need to be arsey about it.

@HangingOver

It's horrendous. It makes me so angry. And it's easy for "regular guys" to "other" this piece of shit and call him a monster/mentally ill because it's such an extreme situation but I myself and many many of my friends are victims of some form of sexual violence/assault. It's everywhere, it's in the fucking walls.

I think it's an insult to those people who are mentally ill but who may commit crimes because they don't have the correct medical care/support.

It's so easy to let someone off and label them as mentally ill when they are anything but - as I think Sarah's attacker isn't really mentally ill, just evil.

@MrsTerryPratchett It was simply a question. I am not going to wade through the Feminism threads. I am curious, that is all.

It’s absolutely disgusting. It must be unbearable for her family, particularly the knowledge that if the police had sorted themselves out and taken his warrant card away and shoved him on back room duties whilst they investigated the flashing incident then this should never have happened. At the time it happened I was walking down that road every day for my daily walks, so it really hits home. I’m a woman of colour and experience has taught me to be very wary of the police, having been literally shouted at by one and hearing some awful experiences from friends. I’ve previously stood and watched if I see the police arresting a young person on a quiet road to try and provide a bit of accountability

@LukeEvansWife

I have a question.

With the amount of male violence, what is it about this case that has upset people so much? Unfortunately, women get raped, beaten, murdered by men all the time. Do you cry over them all or was there something about this that triggered that reaction?

Yes dear, it's because she was lured into a car to her death by man in a position of public trust, who should not have been in that position due to past behaviour that had been ignored by the police.

@LukeEvansWife

Its really not a snark - so no, I won't go away.

It is a genuine question. The vigils etc for Sarah were fairly high profile but I want to know what about this specific case has started all of it. I am asking as a woman who sees the world as a dangerous place, but no more so than, say, ten years ago.

If you don't want to answer, that's fine. But no need to be arsey about it.

There have been lots of threads on MN discussing the murders of lots of women. There has been lots of media attention on lots of murders of lots of women. There have been lots of vigils for lots of murdered women.

Are you new to life or do you just not pay much attention?

@LukeEvansWife

I have a question.

With the amount of male violence, what is it about this case that has upset people so much? Unfortunately, women get raped, beaten, murdered by men all the time. Do you cry over them all or was there something about this that triggered that reaction?

What you should ask is more why aren’t women up in arms for every single of those cases and making life hell to those who support a system that allows that to happen?

To that I would say. You need to start somewhere. Start with one case.