Anyone follow the coverage of the Sarah Everard case today and want to vent?

[HangingOver]

I'm home alone today and except for whatsapping my friends have nothing to do with this incandescent rage and hopeless sadness.

Anyone else need to talk?

I can see it now. Hey Met! I am married to one of you lot. I think he might be a bit iffy. Can you investigate?

Look at the millions of men who have orgasms over images of women being degraded, raped, choked and tortured. Look at how most porn is about punishing and destroying women. It's not all men, but it is most if them. They secretly enjoy these incidents. Hustler magazine wanted to use real-life crime scene and autopsy photos of a woman who was kidnapped, raped and murdered. When a little girl in India was gang-raped and murdered, men were looking for images of the crime on porn sites. It's horrible negotiating a world where this stuff is in men's heads.

Another woman here who has been devastated and left so shocked by this case. I can't imagine how Sarah's family bears what happened to her. I feel so so angry too. Women are murdered all the time and there is so much more society could do to reduce the amount this happens. But society essentially doesn't care.

Enough.

On the basis of absolutely no evidence whatsover, I would bet my house that his partner had an awful life with him and knowing the police's record on how they treat the victims of DV where " one of their own" is involved , saw no way out.

Of course the police have blood on their hands. He used the authority of the police to kidnap her. Does anyone think she would have willingly got in that vehicle under any other circumstances?

@goldengrove

Like everyone else here I'm beyond appalled and outraged, praying that her family can somehow - impossibly - find some kind of peace one day, knowing what happened to the innocent lovely girl they cherished and valued so much. I'm so impressed by the courage of her father who actually challenged this monster to face him today.

I would like to know about Couzens' partner. Surely SHE must have long suspected that something wasn't quite right about this man? If so, why didn't she speak up earlier to someone? - Is there perhaps a lesson here for those of us who may be living with someone who's long been giving us a gut feeling that something isn't quite right? Another reason for women not to be afraid to consider their relationships and not just put up and shut up, if there are real reasons to be worried....? I wonder how many women every day turn a blind eye, for whatever reason, to the fact that they may be living with a monster.

No. Just…no.

Please don’t go there.

With the amount of male violence, what is it about this case that has upset people so much? Unfortunately, women get raped, beaten, murdered by men all the time. Do you cry over them all or was there something about this that triggered that reaction?

Yeah, I wondered the same.

@Claudethecat

I can see it now. Hey Met! I am married to one of you lot. I think he might be a bit iffy. Can you investigate?

And also, why would they listen to her? They knew he was horrendous to women, they knew he’d been exposing himself. What difference would her saying ‘I’ve got a feeling about him’ have made?

You follow the rules abide by the law and you are still not safe .... it's fucking horrendous!
It needs to stop!
There must be change!
For Sarah
For all victims
For all women

@HailAdrian

With the amount of male violence, what is it about this case that has upset people so much? Unfortunately, women get raped, beaten, murdered by men all the time. Do you cry over them all or was there something about this that triggered that reaction?

Yeah, I wondered the same.

Did you come to any conclusions yourself?

Here's the thing we KNOW that all men are like that but we don't know exactly which men aren't like that which means whenever we meet a man we have to take it on trust that he's okay but we don't know. We don't know because the men who ARE like that don't stand out. They don't look like some sort of caricature of a baddy so that we can all figure out just by looking at them that they're best avoided. And then there are the men who aren't really like that but also not enough not like that to do anything about it, to call out a friend when he makes a disgusting joke, to stand up for a woman who is being harassed.

NAMALT is the same as ALL LIVES MATTER. It misses the point by a country mile.

Someone has said that women should do more which is classic victim-blaming but I have done more in my time and got barred from the University pub for doing so which was later overturned. A group of men with a young woman who was verging on blackout drunk. A friend and I went over to make sure she was okay because there was a lot of dodgy looking behaviour going on. She could hardly talk, we offered to get her home and the blokes started at us to fuck off and mind our own business and so on and blah. We stood our ground, we fronted them, we refused to leave her alone with them, told them exactly what it looked like which they didn't even deny, just wanted us to fuck off. Their mates were bouncers, so we got kicked out but we got kicked out with the drunk girl. Thank fuck. We complained to the student union and they got sacked and we were allowed back in but the thing was that you would have looked at any of those blokes and not thought "Oh yeah, they're the sort of blokes who'll get a woman blackout drunk - possibly even put something in her drink - and then take her back to theirs and 'take turns on her'" but that is exactly what they were.

Frankly, we were lucky. We knew full well that in standing up to them there was a possibility of being punched or worse and that is one of the many reasons women don't do more because sometimes they just can't. Men can and rarely do.

Thanks for the thread op, this has upset me today too.
Mother of daughters, two young adults and one a teen. What do I tell them?

Couzens took every bit of power away from Sarah. She had no chance at all and she was just walking home. He planned that crime, he saw it as his right and he was utterly undisturbed by committing it. I don't think it was the first time. I hope the police are going over deaths and disappearances of sex workers in particular.

Couzens is responsible for his actions but the Met are responsible for their management of him as a serving police officer. There is a lot to answer for.

I hope he gets the whole life tariff and I too will be marching if he doesn't.
Sarah's parents live in my city. I stand with them and I'm just so, so sorry that this happened.

it is just horrific, what she suffered by being duped by an evil bastard, it makes me feel physically ill. Her family will be forever traumatised and live with the horror of what she endured. Their statements are heart wrenching.

I hope he does not get the opportunity to take his own life in jail, the prison services will have to make sure of that as he will be trying his best to end it all. I really hope he lives to a miserable old age looking over his shoulder every second of every day.

@HeronLanyon

And it is a lottery as to where you live how seriously things like flashing are taken. I once reported an indecent exposure local to where I live and within 3 mins I was bundled into a police car and driven rooms looking for him. LoliceMEN said the alleged offender fit the description of a nearby rape. They couldn’t have been more brilliant. Sadly it’s really hit and miss not just where you live and local policing ‘ethos’ but also resources available etc etc.

I was flashed at I immediately called the police who couldn’t have been more dismissive if they tried, the female police officer actually said “what do you expect us to do about it, he will be long gone now” .

I would like to know about Couzens' partner. Surely SHE must have long suspected that something wasn't quite right about this man? If so, why didn't she speak up earlier to someone?

Read about sociopaths and then revisit these thoughts. You have no idea.
I know I bring it up in threads lately, including this one, but I had no fucking clue my STBX sexually abused our daughter for four years... while I was doing the fucking laundry on Saturdays, while I was walking the dog, while I was getting our son back to sleep, while this, while that...
Of all the headfuckery that we're coping with now, I think the trauma of not knowing what my then-husband was doing, what he was capable of doing (IS capable of doing), is something I will spend the rest of my life unpacking. I will surely die not having resolved that. I was actively living in this house of horrors and I had no idea of the abuse. So I really and truly believe WC showed his wife his good mask. She is not HIS shame and she is not culpable. So just don't.
Don't give her his blame. Don't.

*Great, we're onto stage 2 in the misogyny playbook. Finding a woman to shoulder some of the responsibility.

Step 3 will be something to do with his childhood.*

You missed out something to do with mental health

Of course he did. Abusers don't have special horrid faces for women to see.

They look just like your husbands. Then when you are not there, they can be very different. Please understand that such people don't think like you. They think like this, I can exploit this person, manipulate them, fuck that person because they are vulnerable.

The fact they clean their car, cut the grass, and maintain polite conversation in front of their mothers or wives is not relevant.

Step 3 will be something to do with his childhood.

yeah, his own mother will be 'culpable'.

Did you come to any conclusions yourself?

No, I'm still thinking about it but I do also wonder why you jumped on that, as though it's not actually true or something.

Totally sickened by what this poor women had to go through but not completely shocked, nothing really shocks me anymore and I have never seen the police as people we can fully trust.

I feel for her family having to listen to the details in court, I can’t imagine the pain I would feel if that was my daughter 😢.

It’s an horrific case and the account of what she actually endured is just so utterly dreadful. I don’t know how things will change, but we need to do something. I am mid 50s and have suffered sexual harassment at work, sexual assault as a teenager and more. The way some men treat women is absolutely shocking. Pornography is exploitation of women by men and is degrading. I know there are some “cool” women who are “ok” with it, but I think they need to take a long hard look at what they are condoning. There are so many things wrong in our society with the way women are treated and it needs to stop.

@HailAdrian

Did you come to any conclusions yourself?

No, I'm still thinking about it but I do also wonder why you jumped on that, as though it's not actually true or something.

I don’t know what that means. Will you come back and let us know when you’ve worked it out?

The Black Mirror episode ‘White Bear’ might be a start at suitable punishment.

I don’t know what that means. Will you come back and let us know when you’ve worked it out?

Oh bore off. What an odd thing to take issue with.

Sorry 😞 @TheVanguardSix that's just awful. I'm really sorry.
Some people are the Devil in disguise.

I agree with PPs, this killer is the devil incarnate and I sincerely hope he dies in prison. I was listening to the victim impact statements being read our on the radio and I was in tears. Her poor family.