Anyone follow the coverage of the Sarah Everard case today and want to vent?

[HangingOver]

I'm home alone today and except for whatsapping my friends have nothing to do with this incandescent rage and hopeless sadness.

Anyone else need to talk?

I hope this brings change. Not just justice, complete fucking reform.

The met can choose not to see him as a police officer. But every lone woman will see a police officer as a potential Wayne Couzens

@DeadButDelicious

"completely agree with you re flashing. I actually think we need to change the language used around flashing and turn it into a serious sexual assault - which it is. Flashing makes it sound funny, and not as serious.

I’ve been “flashed” at in a park before, it was absolutely terrifying and has left me afraid to walk through a park on my own - even though I am now 41 and I was 18 when it happened. My whole life has been altered by that incident.

If a man is prepared to assault a woman in that way it generally follows he will do more next time. Just horrible."

Completely agree, I was 17 when I got 'flashed' and it's stuck with me my whole life, I'm 39 now. That was the night I realised I wasn't safe.

It happened to me age 17 too and was terrifying. I was on my first holiday with friends and he focussed on me only.

I was too scared to say anything and spent the rest of the holiday scared he’d come and find me.

I’ve never been completely happy walking anywhere alone or travelling on public transport since, but I still do it, as you can’t just stay in. But you are never fully relaxed and that makes me sad and cross. And cross and terrified for my dd’s who will have to put up with the same feelings themselves.

It’s a power thing isn’t it? They want you to feel like that. It gives them a buzz. Pathetic individuals.

@Claudethecat

DoraMaude I don't entirely agree. Men must take some collective responsibility for the fact that women are routinely murdered, raped, sexually assaulted, beaten up, harassed.

so decent men need to feel responsible for a small collection of scumbags that commit crimes like this? Do you take collective responsibility for Myra hindley ?

It's absolutely sickening and could have been any of us. The poor family and poor Sarah
I'm so enraged by it and feel like a life sentence is not enough. It's always going to be worse for her family than it is for him.
Serious questions need to be asked in the Met and I think Cressida Dick should have resigned over this when you think of the dreadful heavy handedness at the vigil as well.

@Bordois

Can we just not go there with the NAMALT bollocks, just this once?

Even here.

It's fucking unbelievable.

I also think all men need to take responsibility for male violence against women - whether offender (minority) or not (majority). All men need to be feminists and empower women and be part of change.

I also agree with PP that this will not have been the first time he has raped a woman and I must admit when I heard he had arrested her, I wondered if he had done it before, and then threatened, rather than killed, I would like to think that if he has done some of those women will come forward after he has been jailed, but then I thought who would they go to the police?

I am sure at the start I read somewhere they were digging his garden up and some garages he owned, which for me makes it slightly more chilling, because the police were so quick to find him and then so quick to assume this wasn't the first time.

The more I think about it, the more I agree with giving males a curfew, unpractical I know, but it might keep more of us safe

@MotherofTerriers

The met can choose not to see him as a police officer. But every lone woman will see a police officer as a potential Wayne Couzens

Absolutely.

I would bloody love men to be on a curfew for say one week every month. Times when women can be free to not be afraid walking/being out and about in our communities at night. Just putting my rubbish out late at night I’m on an alert of sorts. Ffs.

Reading the victim impact statements - and about the incredible dignity they showed in demanding the scumbag removed his mask in court and looked them in the eye - was truly the most moving experience I can remember having in a very long time. Just indescribably horrific what they went through and what they will live with forever.

“so decent men need to feel responsible for a small collection of scumbags that commit crimes like this?”

I think all men, yes even decent ones, need to take collective responsibility for the way women are viewed and treated in society. There needs to be a generally more respectful culture. This includes: Treating women like objects for the enjoyment of men, belittling, condescending behaviour, jokes, commenting on women’s bodies and looks….

@HeronLanyon

I would bloody love men to be on a curfew for say one week every month. Times when women can be free to not be afraid walking/being out and about in our communities at night. Just putting my rubbish out late at night I’m on an alert of sorts. Ffs.

Thank God you are no where near any sane government then

The details of how he managed to get her into his car are chilling. She must have been petrified when she realised his true intentions. She just didn’t have a chance.

@Lollipop444

“so decent men need to feel responsible for a small collection of scumbags that commit crimes like this?”

I think all men, yes even decent ones, need to take collective responsibility for the way women are viewed and treated in society. There needs to be a generally more respectful culture. This includes: Treating women like objects for the enjoyment of men, belittling, condescending behaviour, jokes, commenting on women’s bodies and looks….

so do you take responsibility for Myra hindley as I asked earlier and do you think every male in the country should whip themselves nightly for daring to be male?

@MrsRobbieHart

He is an evil man who was entirely responsible for this. Not all men. Not the police.

Entirely disagree.

@MrsRobbieHart so do I. When are the 'good' men going to come out collectively and help us? And fight for us? When are they going to stand with us and say "enough"? When are they going to stop covering for their friends? When are they going to stop dismissing our concerns? And when we raise our concerns, when are they going to stop flipping it back on us by saying "not all men"?

Fuck this shit. Every single man on this planet has to share the responsibility for ending VAWG.

@WrapAroundYourDreams

Absolutely sickened, can't imagine what she went through and what her family are continuing to go through.

The police don't care. Men don't care. I trust neither.

Of course men and police officers care. Please don't tar all men and police officers with the same brush.

What he did was sickening and depraved.

@Lollipop444

“so decent men need to feel responsible for a small collection of scumbags that commit crimes like this?”

I think all men, yes even decent ones, need to take collective responsibility for the way women are viewed and treated in society. There needs to be a generally more respectful culture. This includes: Treating women like objects for the enjoyment of men, belittling, condescending behaviour, jokes, commenting on women’s bodies and looks….

This includes “not” doing all this!

jennifer I said I would bloody love it. Wouldn’t you ? I didn’t say it would ever happen. I’m not in government. I’m at the criminal bar and deal with mostly male violence on both men and women daily.

@Jennifermadison

Did you actually read what I wrote?

I am sickened by it and the fact it had been so pre-meditated. I always hoped an accident had happened but that poor woman will have been terrified and known she’d been in danger. I can’t imagine how scared she must have been.

I also feel for his wife and children. I don’t know how they’d get past what he did and be able to move on. They’re lives have been ruined too.

@HeronLanyon

I also think all men need to take responsibility for male violence against women - whether offender (minority) or not (majority). All men need to be feminists and empower women and be part of change.

I agree with you, and I am also fucking furious that this happened.

What are some specific things I can do that would be useful? This is a genuine question, not a "goad". I try to do a few minorly-useful things already, so for instance where it's feasible, I cross the street to the other side if I am walking at night and there happens to be a lone woman walking in front of me in the same direction, or try to give a lot of space if one is walking the opposite way. But all that does is try to signal "I am not a threat", without actually removing any of the actual threats that do exist.

What more can I do? I'm looking for ideas!

As an institution they are corrupt and rotten to the core- they don't give a shit about women. They look after their own, cover for their corrupt colleagues and their record of failing to protect women and children speaks for itself.

I really hate to say it but I agree with this. I know I'm going off topic but look how some forces behaved during the lockdowns, when they thought they could do what they wanted. Thank goodness the press called them out.

@MotherofTerriers

The met can choose not to see him as a police officer. But every lone woman will see a police officer as a potential Wayne Couzens

This