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Original poster

All my friends of a certain age want to run away from home

259 replies

MareofBeasttown · 27/09/2021 16:40

I thought it was just me, but after speaking to a bunch of friends around my age ( late 40s to early 50s) I have realised that all of us want to run away from home and fuck off to a desert island somewhere. We all have wildly different home lives, jobs and circumstances, but this is the common factor. Of course the pandemic has made things worse, but I don't think it's only the pandemic. Myself, I want to run away just to avoid being asked "Where is the sriracha?" when the sriracha is right on the counter.

OP posts:
CallMeNutribullet · 28/09/2021 19:34

Where I'm from we call it "doing a Shirley Valentine"

Todayissunny · 28/09/2021 19:43

@Callmenutribullet doing an SV means bothering to find someone to have sex with.
Sriracha is essential in my household too (for me - and I come from a meat and 2 veg family).
My kids not turning out as I had planned made me want to pack up and run away last week (dss 14, 14 and 16). I quite like my H and house though.

ancientgran · 28/09/2021 20:06

[quote Bolognesedoc]@ancientgran Sound tough. Hope you get some time for yourself too. Flowers[/quote]
Thank you, I honestly feel like crying at the moment. I know he's been through alot and I can't expect him to be unscathed but he can be so difficult, he can be lovely as well and if I'm honest he's lovely more of the time but I just don't feel able to cope with it. I work part time and it is honestly an escape.

ancientgran · 28/09/2021 20:08

I had my flu jab yesterday and feel awful, think it is making me feel worse. I feel pathetic.

ChampagneCommunist · 28/09/2021 22:47

I watch a lot of "Tiny House" videos on YouTube.

They seem to be mostly lived in (blissfully happily) by women.

I want to be them when I grow up

kwiksavenofrillsusername · 29/09/2021 00:29

@ChampagneCommunist

I watch a lot of "Tiny House" videos on YouTube.

They seem to be mostly lived in (blissfully happily) by women.

I want to be them when I grow up

I also fantasise about living in a tiny house. Or packing everything into a beautiful campervan and driving it wherever I feel. I hate clutter and would have minimal stuff. I think it’s because DH is a big collector plus I have two DC with so much stuff, it drives me mad.
HereticFanjo · 29/09/2021 08:31

I really need to watch Shirley Valentine again! I watched it as a teenager and I think I probably missed out on so much of it!

HereticFanjo · 29/09/2021 08:31

And yes to the tiny house videos!!!

Wbeezer · 29/09/2021 09:21

Im also a big fan of tiny house videos,
I quite fancy building one myself, I'm going to Woodworking evening classes just in case.

TipseyTorvey · 29/09/2021 11:44

I don't want a tiny house as I think I'd mess it up, but I do want a spacious light filled house with white everywhere and big windows where I'm allowed to go all by myself once day and night a week. In this house I will have a bookshelf filled with all the books I buy and never read, it will have a TV with a remote only I can use. A huge bathroom with a plethora of amazing bubble baths and candles. I will pad around in cashmere joggers listening to the music I want to listen to. I will speak to no one and do no cleaning, life admin or cooking. The kitchen will have a freezer stocked with cook type ready meals, bagged salads and cold crisp sancerre.....

NurseMumMe · 29/09/2021 17:33

Wow ! Thought I was the only one! 49 and dream of running away this last year ….
Kids range from very little to teens
Work as a nurse
I blamed this but maybe not !
I’ve fantasised about just getting in the car and heading off… or grabbing a backpack and travelling overseas …. Kids def don’t factor in the idea which makes me feel guilty but ….
I can visualise my life once I’ve left Grin

Dontknowanymore2 · 29/09/2021 17:40

Have wanted to run away for a few years. Have done for 5 days back tomorrow 😳 not looking forward to it. I only said yesterday if you asked women ages about 50 and over a high percentage would choose to leave if they could.

Finlandia · 29/09/2021 17:43

@QueeniesCroft

All my life, I've been anxious about what other people wanted from me, and above all by wanting to be a "good" daughter, sister, friend, wife and mother. A lot of the time I ended up being taken terrible advantage of it and hoping that it would make my parents, friends etc like me. My fault, but probably influenced by very disapproving and critical parents.

Now I'm angry. I'm angry with myself for letting myself get into such a terrible marriage, angry that my parents still don't bloody like me, angry that my children can't find their own fecking socks, angry that my vet doesn't know how to treat quail, angry about absolutely everything, I'm done with it, all of it.

I already live on a remote island, but would gladly leave it for a warmer one! I think there's a real possibility that one day I will genuinely just reach the point of no return, get on the next ferry and fuck off to wherever I like the sound of at the time.

I’m not on a remote island but otherwise this. I’ve been looking up properties for sale in another country.
CambsAlways · 29/09/2021 17:45

I can understand it, but nope I will stick at home , would miss my bed and home comforts too much 🤣🤣

Bertiebiscuit · 29/09/2021 17:53

Anne Tyler's "the ladder of years" is one of my all time favourite reads - back in the real world, I divorced useless husband in my 30s, went to uni brought up my son. had interesting jobs, never lived with a man again, so no, I never want to run away from home, I love my life. I think living withmen is the problem

Fluffmum · 29/09/2021 18:05

Very true I feel like this daily

Mumof4DC · 29/09/2021 18:06

Omg! I relate to this so much. I’m 44 and DC are 20, 17, 13 and 9. DC1 at university and I am the constant source of information for everyone. She just rang to demand that I find an important document straight away as she NEEDS it now. Cooking dinner, school run and driving back and forth endlessly to various activities every day plus holding down a demanding job is starting to really wear me out. DH is able to perform fantastically at work running a large company but apparently can’t amend an Ocado shop despite us having ordered from there for many many years! Just an example of his behaviour - one of the others being that he can’t remember anyone’s activities despite them all being written out by me and stuck on the wall. I just want to run away and maybe even have wild carefree sex with someone young and hot Blush.

EishetChayil · 29/09/2021 18:06

In my experience, the women who want this are the sort who didn't put firm boundaries in place early on in regard to what they will and won't do around the house, with husband and children alike.

DivingBoardInGuernsey · 29/09/2021 18:17

@EishetChayil perhaps...

In my experience, it's that as a widowed single parent, there's a distinct lack of other adults to participate. DC are young, but do age appropriate jobs relatively cheerfully. Job is ft and intense. Elderly parents need daily help (and no, not enough money to pay for support). So no amount of boundaries are going to reduce the mental or physical load, sadly! I can dream though, and a white empty SILENT beach house sounds pretty good right now...

Mumof4DC · 29/09/2021 18:20

Yes there were no boundaries - I was 23 when I had DC1 and let DH go off and build his empire while I did everything else and worked too. More fool me.

Mumof4DC · 29/09/2021 18:26

White empty silent beach house sounds amazing!!

throwa · 29/09/2021 18:27

I went up to the Lake District for a weekend earlier on this year by myself, leaving the OH and the kids at home. I camped for two nights (and did a bit of a swim on one of the days... 7.5 miles, with hindsight that bit was a bit too epic) and it was glorious.

Lovely weather, camping just by yourself means you literally throw a tent in the car and leave, no need to worry about if you have ticked x y and z off the camping list. I ate what I wanted, when I wanted, got up when I wanted, there were no children to take places, no house to tidy, no Lost Things to Find, no pets to feed and no garden to weed. I drove up in stages, stopped when I wanted and read about 5 books over the weekend. It was amazing, one of the best breaks I've ever had.

I am seriously thinking about doing it again next year. The only issue would be having to do the swim again. I wonder if I can bribe someone to take my place...

MdNdD · 29/09/2021 18:33

I dream, every day, of running away to a tropical island paradise. I don’t even mind if my kids come, so long as they stop fighting and leave their gadgets here in the rain. But as soon as they start fighting, I’ll send them home…

notbloodylikely · 29/09/2021 18:45

I’ve just kind of run away in that I’m recently separated, and although it’s been tough it’s the best thing I’ve done.

That said, I’d happily run away from other aspects of adult life - the endless laundry, the bills (car just needed very expensive repairs and I had to get a fence panel replaced), the trying to keep people happy…

And I just want to not be woken up by my alarm for once.

CallmeBadJanet · 29/09/2021 18:53

@MareofBeasttown Felt like that, but now hit mid-fifties and feeling the need to assert more boundaries, be vocal about it, and if they don't like it, tough. The joy of less oestrogen is you stop people pleasing 😃