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Original poster

All my friends of a certain age want to run away from home

259 replies

MareofBeasttown · 27/09/2021 16:40

I thought it was just me, but after speaking to a bunch of friends around my age ( late 40s to early 50s) I have realised that all of us want to run away from home and fuck off to a desert island somewhere. We all have wildly different home lives, jobs and circumstances, but this is the common factor. Of course the pandemic has made things worse, but I don't think it's only the pandemic. Myself, I want to run away just to avoid being asked "Where is the sriracha?" when the sriracha is right on the counter.

OP posts:
Serenissima21 · 28/09/2021 09:21

This thread seems to be split between people who want to run away with their husbands/partners and those who want to leave them behind! Grin

I am currently very much in the second camp.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 28/09/2021 09:21

I'm so glad I found this thread! I've been thinking this for a while, interspersed with feelings of extreme guilt for even thinking it.

It just feels like everyday life is so draining, and at a minimum I'd love to just look after myself for a few days.

PuzzledObserver · 28/09/2021 09:25

I’m 57 and just sort-of fucked off by retiring and moving to Devon.

It’s lovely. OK, so there’s still a house to sort out and all that stuff - but our time is our own, so if it takes 3 days to get round to doing something, who cares?

It’s the greatly reduce level of demand which makes the difference.

Seriallover · 28/09/2021 09:28

I'm early 30s and I wanna run away too Grin

pussycatlickinglollyices · 28/09/2021 09:30

Me to DH: What do you want for lunch? (we eat our main meal at lunchtime)
Him: Surprise me.
Me: Like the other 364 days of the fucking year.

later...
Him: What's for lunch?
Me: I'm doing
Him: Oh...I thought you'd do

Madcats · 28/09/2021 09:35

Can I come too, please?

I seem to have morphed into the chef, scullery maid, painter and decorator and household PA over lockdown. Even the cats are needy (currently have a cat on my shoulder).

Bounce55 · 28/09/2021 09:36

I had major surgery about this time last year.
Recovery is usually about 2 weeks
I managed nearly 2 months
It was fab Grin

ancientgran · 28/09/2021 09:37

Well I'm nearly 70 and I've started to feel like that. Been my husbands carer for 30 years, brought up kids (teenagers) and worked all through it. Semi retired, great, still a carer but kids all gone and working few hours.

I now have custody of GC due to serious problems at home. I'm back into ironing school uniform, making packed lunches and supervising homework.

Not sure when It's going to be my turn.

Sorry I'm feeling miserable and my broken ankle has healed but still hurts and my arthritic hands are killing me. My advice? Run while you can still enjoy it. (not sure if I'm serious.)

EarthSight · 28/09/2021 09:38

@MareofBeasttown

For Sriracha substitute any household item: sugar, ketchup, coffee...I only said Sriracha because DS loves it, but apparently has some kind of brain defect where he can't find anything on his own🙄 Peri-menopause is not helping. Find myself constantly irritated by everyone and everything. No doubt DH feels exactly the same...
but apparently has some kind of brain defect where he can't find anything on his own🙄

He won't because you're super helpful. Have you tried value going 'Oh I don't know'?

middleager · 28/09/2021 09:38

Bounce you are a woman after my own heart!

thesugarbumfairy · 28/09/2021 09:39

Yeah. 47.
But just went away for the weekend with friends - all day spa and a meal out with good friends. All in bed at the hotel by 10.30. Ate so much during the day, no room for alcohol so no hangovers next day. It was bliss. Got it out of our systems for a while.

Bogofftosomewherehot · 28/09/2021 09:39

I am (genuinely) looking at setting up support for menopausal women - for the like minded who just "get it".

I have:
3 teens - all with special needs
carer for a sulky, grumpy, manipulative parent
Chemical menopause
(Sick of a messy house and tiptoeing around everyone else's drama and gauging moods).

I don't have:
patience
Infinite wad of cash to set up a retreat. How amazing would that be?

Imagine - women only, different rooms to meet what you need, a library, beach, fields and woods, a chef to make whatever you want, company if you want it, peace if you don't. No men, no kids, no hen parties! But you can bring a dog - as long as it's chill.

QueeniesCroft · 28/09/2021 09:39

In my fantasy life, my husband disappears (aliens, dissolved in acid, eaten by a shark, whatever) and I can become a nun. Depending on the day, it might be a silent order. I work in the garden and grow fabulous vegetables, I have endless quiet time to think, and I can attend Mass without having to think about children who might argue/misbehave. And everybody knows where their own socks are.

I think I would probably be a terrible nun (I've only ever met two kinds of nun- one type is almost luminous and obviously happy in her vocation, and the other is bitter and unpleasant. I wouldn't want to risk becoming the second kind,) but the idea of a community of women really calls to me. Celibacy is no problem, poverty is not currently optional anyway, but obedience may well be an issue!

ancientgran · 28/09/2021 09:41

@middleager

I'm 48 and on the cusp of something (hopefully not just the menopause). I'd like to leave work, but there's the damned mortgage and I haven't got a clue what else to do.

I was sitting in the sun the weekend, Covid ridden, and thinking about Shirley Valentine - how in the film, the actress was 43, 5 years younger than me.

Covid has taken its toll on my body this week, but there was a silver lining of passing everything back to DH and the teens, crawling under the duvet and letting them be the family brain.

Then I got up, found my Basil plants dead and a pile of empty Pot Noodles in their wake, but now I totally get why in films or TV the wife/mother sometimes fantasises about a minor hospital stay to escape the drudge.

'I have allowed myself to lead this little life, when inside me there was so much more. ...'

Oh yes, the short stay in hospital is like a luxury cruise. I had a fabulous time when I was rushed in, turned out to be a false alarm but 4 days of no cooking and someone fussing round me. It was heaven. How bloody sad is that.
Bogofftosomewherehot · 28/09/2021 09:41

I want to sit and fantasise but sadly have to go to work now - damn.

Bounce55 · 28/09/2021 09:41

@middleager

Bounce you are a woman after my own heart!
WinkGrinSmileFlowers
middleager · 28/09/2021 09:44

Oh yes, the short stay in hospital is like a luxury cruise. I had a fabulous time when I was rushed in, turned out to be a false alarm but 4 days of no cooking and someone fussing round me. It was heaven. How bloody sad is that.

Everybody on the thread nods in unison, because we get it!

HereticFanjo · 28/09/2021 09:50

Can I come???

EL8888 · 28/09/2021 09:51

I think it is all demands some people are given. For example a friend of mine has to drive her 20 year olds daughter to her boyfriend house numerous times a week, problem is he lives 50 odd miles away. Daughter has a car but “doesn’t like motorways or driving far” apparently. Friend works 50 hours a week, daughter works 12 hours a week and daughter complains for time age is.
I wouldn’t allow any of this nonsense on my watch Hmm

@ChocolateRiver when people say where is the butter, jam, remote etc. I just parrot back WHERE is the butter, jam, remote etc?! I refuse to give any of it headspace

@HemanOrSheRa l agree, l think part of its hormonal. Plus old fashioned burnout and boredom with it all

EL8888 · 28/09/2021 09:51

Sorry daughter complains how tired she is!

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 28/09/2021 10:20

Queeniescroft that sounds so lovely. I’m not religious though.

Could endless ecclesiastical embroideries be part of it too? I found any form of sewing so calming.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 28/09/2021 10:31

Also, I will be an empty nester next year

If you’re lucky. They bloody come back.Sad

Ds 27 still at home saving for deposit
Dss finally left for good at 29

And they line to talk to you and disturb your peace. I retired last year. Bloody Dh is always around as he’s now working from home permanently😭

Original poster
MareofBeasttown · 28/09/2021 10:53

Brain of the family. That's exactly it! DH runs a massive international department but apparently he has to ask me every single day "Is it cold enough for a jacket?"

I am going to try saying "I don't know" more often. I do say it but apparently not often enough to deter him.

OP posts:
FortunesFave · 28/09/2021 10:59

@ManifestingJoy

Oh I loved that Anne Tyler book. Ladder of dreams or ladder of years?

Even in my 20s I found it comforting, that you could retain the option to just walk away. I'm 51 now and I would like a simpler life. A bedsit and a part time job in a shop/cafe would be a rest.

I think about a bedsit too! One window to look out of.
LivingInABuildingSite · 28/09/2021 11:13

I feel kind of bad for thinking that I’ll probably outlive DH (generally women live longer and he’s not the healthiest anyway) then I’ll get my little cottage with low ceilings (as I’m short and he’s tall) and live with my cats in peace!

Friend with 4 small DC had to stay in hospital for a few days, said it was heaven! 😂