School runs are killing me, what can I do?

[Redovwrcoat]

I'm 21 weeks pregnant and have a 9 year old ds.

His school is just under a mile walk door to door. We used to walk, no problem but now I am really struggling. I am heavy, my back hurts, I struggle for breath and I feel sick all the time. I have other complications that make it a daily struggle. It's only going to get worse.

There is a way we can go via public transport but it inolves 2 buses. They are unreliable and neither bus stop has seating. I'm struggling to stand for any length of time.

I don't drive although I've passed my theory recently and am waiting for lessons.

My dh drives and on the days he's not on early or doesn't have to drive his dc to school (they go to another school) he takes my ds but that's few and far between.

I'm new to the area so don't know anyone who could help. I feel awkward asking the school mums. Maybe I could pay them to pick up and drop off?? Is that a thing?

Can't really afford cabs every day

I am hoping someone comes up with a magical idea that I haven't thought of, because I can't take much more of this.

😭

I've accepted the offer and I'm so relieved we have a solution. DS actually laughed at the situation and said "typical" and is fine about it. As PP said its a chance to get to know her.

Thanks to everyone who have been supportive and offered helpful suggestions; massive fuck you to those who were rude

Great resolution.. you can relax now OP.

£5 definitely worth it!

Yay fantastic! So pleased for you. And not having to do the school run is amazing :D

A normal 9 yr old can be taught how to walk his route to school safely; so he knows the safe places to cross roads, where the l.ollipop lady is. how to cross a road safely on his own.

I'd get DH to practise walking the route with him (at weekend if that's when he's available) and then let DS take himself to and from school.

@2bazookas

A normal 9 yr old can be taught how to walk his route to school safely; so he knows the safe places to cross roads, where the l.ollipop lady is. how to cross a road safely on his own. I'd get DH to practise walking the route with him (at weekend if that's when he's available) and then let DS take himself to and from school.

At our school, in a London borough, children aren't allowed to go to school / leave alone until year 5. There's a really nasty main road just around the corner, no lollipop ladies on the zebra crossing, and cars often don't stop. I don't think not wanting a just-9 yr4 child to walk to school alone is unreasonable at all!

@SweetBabyCheeses99

This may sound harsh but I think you ought to keep walking - for your own health and fitness. You mention trying to help your situation with swimming, yoga, diet and insulin(!) so I don’t think it’s unreasonable to add walking to this too.

You are only halfway through your pregnancy - not even being able to walk now doesn’t bode well for the next half, nor for having a new baby. The thing about fitness is that you need to use it or you’ll lose it. You need to at least maintain the strength in your legs and lungs to walk or you’re just going to get weaker. It’s going to be even harder to recover from a c-section when you can’t walk anymore.

Why the exclamation mark after insulin? Do you think OP has just nipped and bought herself some from the supermarket? Or maybe, just maybe, she has diabetes and is prescribed insulin to control it?

Yes it does sound harsh. Did you actually read how poorly OP is feeling and how hard the walk is for her? But you obviously know best.

@Redovwrcoat

I've accepted the offer and I'm so relieved we have a solution. DS actually laughed at the situation and said "typical" and is fine about it. As PP said its a chance to get to know her.

Thanks to everyone who have been supportive and offered helpful suggestions; massive fuck you to those who were rude

That's brilliant, and will give you greater peace of mind than if he was trying to walk or you were reliant on favours. Nice straightforward solution, and he might enjoy getting to know her. Best of luck with the rest of your pregnancy.

A normal 9 yr old can be taught how to walk his route to school safely; so he knows the safe places to cross roads, where the lollipop lady is. how to cross a road safely on his own.

My year 4 child knows how to look before crossing the road. And they know their way to school. But they would hate to do the walk by themselves. They aren’t supposed to walk by themselves until they are in year 5 anyway at our school.

I’m glad you asked for help OP and found a solution that works for you.

Will this not mean your son having to go to school earlier and finish later?

Good result. I’m pleased you are pleased.

OP: have you been assessed for SPD?

Only 21 weeks pg but You're struggling to stand and walk and "it's only getting worse". If SPD is part of picture, physio can help a lot.

TA has DBS, that's worth a lot. £5/day is £25/week.

I might ask about £4/journey instead. I'd bite her hand off, basically.

Still looking at 9x£20 = £180 before Christmas, and unclear cost after. At least the same, I suppose.

You haven't really sorted what will happen after baby is born. If it's SPD, then it will probably get worse, and baby's birth won't fix it over night. You'll need a lot of support in 2-6 weeks after birth just from the SPD recovery alone, plus likely C-section (you expect) recovery.

I'd bite the TAs hand off and not quibble over 50p remember they'll still be days DH is able to take him.

It doesn't sound like a pelvic issue to me, people with pelvic issues might get onto the pavement but they'd never get back up. But whatever it is she needs medical help was well as sorting the practical issue of getting her DS to school.

I can tell you SPD went for me very quickly. Couple of weeks and I was fine.

@Redovwrcoat

I've had some great advice on here and some really supportive comments...thank you.

I'm also surprised and a bit hurt by some of the other, less helpful comments. There doesn't seem to be a point to these comments other than to be hurtful or to make the poster feel superior to me. I didn't think coming on here to ask for support and help about a simple problem would cause such offence to some posters. You've succeeded in making me feel useless and pathetic. How sad.

OP I am happy to hear that you are getting a plan in place.

You are going to have to scroll on past the unhelpful comments I am afraid. I have seen a fair few threads recently where a perfectly innocent question from an OP has been blown out of all proportion by posters.

Please continue to do your swimming and yoga...

Great news, TA don’t earn a great deal, so hopefully it will work out all round. With my first DC I had far more energy, but with my second, I couldn’t wait to give up work and go to bed by 9 pm.

@2bazookas

A normal 9 yr old can be taught how to walk his route to school safely; so he knows the safe places to cross roads, where the l.ollipop lady is. how to cross a road safely on his own. I'd get DH to practise walking the route with him (at weekend if that's when he's available) and then let DS take himself to and from school.

What is a normal 9 year old?

So glad some advice was helpful and you got it sorted OP. Please do ignore the sanctimonious virtue signalling from some posters. It goes on in all threads and is truly nasty. There are always people who find it threatening not to be able to demonstrate their superiority. Consider it their problem and not yours. You are in a tricky situation and came on asking for advice in good faith. They are vipers.

Thanks for the supportive messages

Yes I bit her arm off, we spoke on the phone last night, I've already paid for the week upfront and ds was picked up by her this morning and off they went. He gets to go to breakfast club, which he loves, at no extra cost. I was able to go back into the house and have a quiet cup of tea before I log on at 9am. No rushing back from school for me anymore.

I don't think I have SPD but thanks to all who have commented with advice etc. It's more about my unstable blood sugar levels, feeling very sick most of the time, with constant headaches. I get faint / dizzy at unexpected times and have been at the brink of collapse twice in as many weeks. I haven't managed to find my "goldilocks" amount of meds yet, and the food I can tolerate changes almost daily. This leads to feeling of sickness and light headedness. I get out of breath very easily and had two panic attacks last week on the way home from his school. That's a whole other story.

I am seeing the midwife tomorrow

I wonder if I'm going to get a load of ugly trolls telling me how crap I am at life!

I'm very glad I came on here as it led to hiring this lovely TA, so thanks to the lovely posters.

@RevolvingPivot

Will this not mean your son having to go to school earlier and finish later?

Like the vast majority of kids?

Just RTFT and so happy that the TA can help (found the price reasonable too btw).

And I wanted to add to the voices saying that mobility difficulties during pregnancy aren't a joke. I laughed when people said "One mile is just 20 minutes"! It is if you don't have mobility problems!! I had to walk a bit less than half a mile to the supermarket when I was pregnant and it took me a good 20 mins (holding walls abd sometimes crying) because if the pain of SPD. I also had some problems with blood sugar during that time and the feeling of being light headed and fear of collapsing has influenced my dealings with food 10 years later - it was awful.

So I'm really glad for you OP that you've just got a massive chunk of stress removed from your day - twice - and you also know DS is getting to school safely! It's a win on all fronts!

@daretodenim

Just RTFT and so happy that the TA can help (found the price reasonable too btw).

And I wanted to add to the voices saying that mobility difficulties during pregnancy aren't a joke. I laughed when people said "One mile is just 20 minutes"! It is if you don't have mobility problems!! I had to walk a bit less than half a mile to the supermarket when I was pregnant and it took me a good 20 mins (holding walls abd sometimes crying) because if the pain of SPD. I also had some problems with blood sugar during that time and the feeling of being light headed and fear of collapsing has influenced my dealings with food 10 years later - it was awful.

So I'm really glad for you OP that you've just got a massive chunk of stress removed from your day - twice - and you also know DS is getting to school safely! It's a win on all fronts!

Yes a fair amount of tears have been shed on that school run

Thanks to you, and the others who understand, for posting x

Just wanted to ask @Redovwrcoat, have you had your iron and b12 checked recently.
I kept going faint, light headed, no energy and collapsing in my last pregnancy and the hospital just kept telling me that my blood sugars must have dipped ect.
Wasn't until I saw my midwife (such a great woman) that some one suggested aneamia. The hospital only looked at my booking bloods which were normal but by 23 weeks I was severely anaemic in both iron and b12.
A month of medication later and I felt much better.
I'd have it checked if it hasn't been ruled out already

@Mammyofasuperbaby

Just wanted to ask *@Redovwrcoat*, have you had your iron and b12 checked recently. I kept going faint, light headed, no energy and collapsing in my last pregnancy and the hospital just kept telling me that my blood sugars must have dipped ect. Wasn't until I saw my midwife (such a great woman) that some one suggested aneamia. The hospital only looked at my booking bloods which were normal but by 23 weeks I was severely anaemic in both iron and b12. A month of medication later and I felt much better. I'd have it checked if it hasn't been ruled out already

Good point. I will ask midwife tomorrow x

This brings back memories of having SPD in my third pregnancy - god that grinding, crunching, burning groin pain is not one I could easily forget. We live at the top of a hill and I could just about get the DCs from school to the bottom of our road, but on more than one occasion I called DH in tears unable to walk any further!