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Original poster

School runs are killing me, what can I do?

230 replies

Redovwrcoat · 27/09/2021 08:57

I'm 21 weeks pregnant and have a 9 year old ds.

His school is just under a mile walk door to door. We used to walk, no problem but now I am really struggling. I am heavy, my back hurts, I struggle for breath and I feel sick all the time. I have other complications that make it a daily struggle. It's only going to get worse.

There is a way we can go via public transport but it inolves 2 buses. They are unreliable and neither bus stop has seating. I'm struggling to stand for any length of time.

I don't drive although I've passed my theory recently and am waiting for lessons.

My dh drives and on the days he's not on early or doesn't have to drive his dc to school (they go to another school) he takes my ds but that's few and far between.

I'm new to the area so don't know anyone who could help. I feel awkward asking the school mums. Maybe I could pay them to pick up and drop off?? Is that a thing?

Can't really afford cabs every day

I am hoping someone comes up with a magical idea that I haven't thought of, because I can't take much more of this.

😭

OP posts:
TheSockMonster · 27/09/2021 10:57

I hope it works out with the TA. No idea why you’ve had so many unhelpful and frankly rude comments! Quite often on MN the solution to disability-related issues is for the person with the disability to make more effort not to be disable.

HarebrightCedarmoon · 27/09/2021 11:00

Blaming how? If someone is otherwise quite well then walking for 20 mins at 21 weeks pregnant then should t be an issue and I am merely suggesting that op addresses the health issues

If it's SPD, while there are things that will help, the main thing that helps is having the baby. It's not as easy as just giving an instruction to "address your health issue."

idontlikealdi · 27/09/2021 11:00

Y4 aren't allowed to walk alone at our school.

Can you see if there's a childminder that he could go to for drop off? How does he get home?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

2nd trimester Families General education General pregnancy
forthelaughs · 27/09/2021 11:02

Hi OP, I'm currently pregnant and have a four month old. Luckily I don't have to do any school runs but really empathise with your situation! So sorry you're having a tough time on your post, it's really strange how a lot of people will rather criticise/post negative comments as opposed to saying nothing instead.
Focus on the positive comments and I hope the TA is able to help you and your little boy!
Try to take it as easy in your pregnancy as best as you can and I hope it all works out!Thanks

ScumbagDave · 27/09/2021 11:03

@Redovwrcoat

The school just called! They are giving my number to a TA who passes by our house and might be happy to pick ds up and drop off for a small charge ... I am so relieved, let's hope this works out! TA will call me later.

Only problem is...and I had to stifle a giggle...ds has a bit of a vendetta against this TA...she is always "telling him off for no reason"

He will be delighted with the arrangement 😂

So glad they can maybe help. I was going to add to the many posts saying contact the school, but obviously don't need to.

Maybe it will improve things between your DS and ta as well.

INeedNewShoes · 27/09/2021 11:03

Ignore the silly posters OP!

Yoga and swimming are brilliant forms of gentle exercise in your situation. I'm swimming as rehab for an injury at the moment!

I would encourage you to ask your midwife an/or GP for a physio referral though.

I was wrongly diagnosed with SPD by my midwife but got a physio referral and within 5 minutes of the first physio session the SPD diagnosis had been thrown out the window. The physio treated the actual problem and whereas I'd hobbled into the appointment, I walked out normally! A problem that had persistently worsened over a few weeks getting to the point where I couldn't walk a mile, almost completely resolved in half an hour and I was back to walking and being able to bend, climb stairs etc.

MarthaJonesPhone · 27/09/2021 11:03

Hopefully school will be able to help. They contacted me about one of my DC's classmates whose mum was really struggling with pick up for an after school club. I was more than happy to help.

NoSauce · 27/09/2021 11:04

Ignore the dickheads OP.

Hope it works out with the TA.

BigFatLiar · 27/09/2021 11:04

Only problem is...and I had to stifle a giggle...ds has a bit of a vendetta against this TA...she is always "telling him off for no reason"

Perhaps he'll be worried you'll find out why she's been telling him off.

RB68 · 27/09/2021 11:05

people stop critising the poor woman. Gestational Diabetes with other issues and 21 weeks pg can be horrendous I have been there. I couldn't walk to the end of the street and back due to dizziness, fluctuation sugar levels adjusting insulin to food and feeling utterly awful. The nausea can be so debillitating

I would speak to school, and see if there is anyone else walking past you that could accompany him or meet you at a route point.

In terms of the diabetes, keep a food diary and a how you feel diary and work out which foods are a nightmare for you - it does seem to vary by person. For me I had to reduce carbs so breakfast of rough porridge was ok with some fruit and didn't spike sugars which is what causes the nausea etc. Don't snack between meals and if you need a taste of something have it at the end of your main meal. Make sure you have something for brekkie relatively early so your morning sugar spike has time to levelout (the liver does a sugar dump first thing) try and stick to protein brekkie if you can altho this takes a bit of getting used to. Space your meals and make sure to take good breaths to keep your oxygen up when walking - its easy to only breath shallowly when pg. Speak to your health visitor/midwife if you can and let them know you are struggling there are other things they can get prescribed to help with the nausea etc. If its hip and joint pain due tot he pg then think about using a stick or crutches and getting physio advice,. I hope you manage to control the diabetes a bit better soon and feel better too. I agree with others school may well be helpful in the circumstances

redferrari · 27/09/2021 11:05

Definitely ask in what's app group. I used to pick up a little girl from nursery along with my son when the mom was heavily pregnant and needed help for few weeks. The kids enjoyed walking together and used to play until dad or grandmother was able collect them. We were good friends until we moved out. We still text each other.

trumpisagit · 27/09/2021 11:06

Good luck OP. The TA sounds like a great plan. He might even like her.

butterpuffed · 27/09/2021 11:06

OP , you're struggling for breath and separately , you had to sit on the pavement in the rain. That's not normal at 5 months pregnant.

You mentioned blood sugar ~ are you type 1 on insulin or is it gestational diabetes ?

Either way, you need to see your GP

SueSaid · 27/09/2021 11:07

'I’d also love to know where all these lollipop ladies are? My local council scrapped them years ago. Likewise walking buses. Great idea in principle, but schools struggled to staff them. More proof that many mumsnetters don’t live in the real world.'

You know people can only comment from their own experiences? Round here you cannot move for crossing attendants at school run time. I do 'live in the real world' and can only apologise for not being psychic and knowing what provision there is everywhere else.

Imo a 9 year old is more than able to walk a mile including crossing roads however clearly the op doesn't want to do that. Fine. If you ask for opinions on a chat forum you will get them though.

StrongLegs · 27/09/2021 11:09

Hi Redovwrcoat ,

I'm sorry you're struggling and I think your caring attitude to your son is wonderful. I really hope the school TA can help you out. Take care there. You're a great Mum.

HagridHair · 27/09/2021 11:10

Taxi?

EvilPea · 27/09/2021 11:10

I wouldn’t let mine walk here either, and actually the nearer the school the worse it gets with parents mounting pavements, cars parked tightly so poor visibility for those pulling out of junctions and driveways. Lack of indication at junctions and round abouts I’ve had enough arguments with drivers when we’ve walked let alone a child.

Good luck with finding a solution.

endofagain · 27/09/2021 11:14

We have had 4 fatalities on the road near my house. One of them was a teacher. There have been several non fatal accidents, one of them a child from my DD's school. Some roads are just inherently dangerous and parents have to make a judgment.

myrtilles · 27/09/2021 11:16

If you are having difficulty walking check you dont have spd. Once it came on with my pregnancies it was impossible to walk and do sport. I hope the school will be able to find another parent who can help.

ReeseWitherfork · 27/09/2021 11:17

@JaniieJones

'I’d also love to know where all these lollipop ladies are? My local council scrapped them years ago. Likewise walking buses. Great idea in principle, but schools struggled to staff them. More proof that many mumsnetters don’t live in the real world.'

You know people can only comment from their own experiences? Round here you cannot move for crossing attendants at school run time. I do 'live in the real world' and can only apologise for not being psychic and knowing what provision there is everywhere else.

Imo a 9 year old is more than able to walk a mile including crossing roads however clearly the op doesn't want to do that. Fine. If you ask for opinions on a chat forum you will get them though.

They're everywhere where I am. There's a couple of junctions I'd never get out of if the lollipop people didn't stop the traffic on the main road. All hail the lollipop lady!
Puffykins · 27/09/2021 11:21

If you're on a WhatsApp group with the other parents, it's totally worth asking if anyone lives near you, and if so if your DS can walk with them. You can offer to return the favour whenever they need it, once you are no longer pregnant. When my kids were at primary school in London there were 2 other children in his class who lived super close to us - when it was raining one of us would take all the children/ if someone was running late someone else would pick them up etc. - it worked really well.

Cactus1982 · 27/09/2021 11:22

@JaniieJones ‘Opinions are like arseholes. Everyone has one’. In fact many of these ‘opinions’ were just posters being rude and unkind to someone for the sake. Also if you’d bothered to read the thread correctly you’d have seen that the OP’s son is only in Year 4 and most schools won’t allow pupils that young to walk too and from school.

Danikm151 · 27/09/2021 11:22

Is there a walking bus scheme at the school?
Where a group of kids walk with a member of staff?

hahaboink · 27/09/2021 11:25

@JaniieJones

It's a mile, he's 9. As others have said let him go alone. Even on busy roads school routes have lollipop men and women to ensure safe crossing.

WhatsApp groups are great for occasional help but I doubt anyone would want to sign up for a daily commitment.

Have you seen your midwife recently? if you're struggling at 21 weeks you'll need investigating regarding the breathlessness and close monitoring

I live in London and there isn't a single lollipop person between my house and the school, which is around a mile away. Our journey involves crossing two very busy roads, with zebra crossings, where car drivers very often do not bother to stop.

We should probably trust the OP that she does not believe it is safe for her child to walk this specific route on his own at this age.

jessycake · 27/09/2021 11:29

Only take notice of the helpful suggestions , everyone is a stranger on here and you don't need negative opinions ,just a practical solution . Hopefully you now have one good luck x