School runs are killing me, what can I do?

[Redovwrcoat]

I'm 21 weeks pregnant and have a 9 year old ds.

His school is just under a mile walk door to door. We used to walk, no problem but now I am really struggling. I am heavy, my back hurts, I struggle for breath and I feel sick all the time. I have other complications that make it a daily struggle. It's only going to get worse.

There is a way we can go via public transport but it inolves 2 buses. They are unreliable and neither bus stop has seating. I'm struggling to stand for any length of time.

I don't drive although I've passed my theory recently and am waiting for lessons.

My dh drives and on the days he's not on early or doesn't have to drive his dc to school (they go to another school) he takes my ds but that's few and far between.

I'm new to the area so don't know anyone who could help. I feel awkward asking the school mums. Maybe I could pay them to pick up and drop off?? Is that a thing?

Can't really afford cabs every day

I am hoping someone comes up with a magical idea that I haven't thought of, because I can't take much more of this.

😭

@HarebrightCedarmoon

A mile is a 20 minute walk, this is not far. I’d be visiting your GP f you can’t comfortably walk for 20 mins at 21 weeks pregnant

Sure, but have you heard of SPD? Quite a common thing affecting women in pregnancy and not a lot can be done about it other than "have the baby". Some people have difficult pregnancies, don't start blaming the OP.

Agreed - this is what I had

Do you think you might have SPD? It’s not typical to struggle that much with walking at 21 weeks, perhaps you need a referral to physio? They can supply support belts, mobility aids etc.

@Summerbreeze4

I don’t think you can appeal on what’s app for help with one 9 year old, I guess from your post that you aren’t working at the moment. Other mums will think you are taking the piss, there will be other mums walking with proms and toddlers in tow, some whilst also pregnant. Really you need to address your health issues, how will you cope when your baby is born.

He's 9 not 19

The TA is a great plan, but you could have this issue for some time. My SPD didn't go fully away until around 18 months after I gave birth so you might need to put longer term plans in place (or at least speed up the driving).

A mile is a 20 minute walk, this is not far.

A mile is 20 minutes each way. Its not far to you, and thats why some conditions count as 'a disability'. They impair your ability to do normal things like walk for 40 minutes.

@Redovwrcoat

I work full time and have to be logged on for 9am every day.

I really don't understand some of the negative comments being spouted on this thread. I came on for support, not to be shot down.

It’s mumsnet. Lots of people just love to kick someone. Try and ignore them and you’ve had some hopefully helpful advice (and what looks like it might be a solution)

OP, just in case you haven't had advice from your midwife on SPD, if you think it could be that she can refer you for NHS physio. It's worth trying to sleep in something silky, and put a shiny carrier bag on the seat in the car to help you get in/out. Keep your legs as symmetrical as you can whether you're sitting or in bed etc.

Great if the TA can help. That's lovely of them!

Can't believe some of the posts. Clearly no empathy, understanding or experience from some.

Please check in with your midwife about feeling faint, that doesn’t sound great. It might be as simple as tweaking your insulin doses.

Glad to hear the school are helping you out with options - I’m another that would absolutely help out another school mum in this situation too, it’s not exactly much hardship to have someone’s 9 year old walking with you on a route you’re already taking. The people who would think you are taking the piss are a bit odd.

I've had some great advice on here and some really supportive comments...thank you.

I'm also surprised and a bit hurt by some of the other, less helpful comments. There doesn't seem to be a point to these comments other than to be hurtful or to make the poster feel superior to me. I didn't think coming on here to ask for support and help about a simple problem would cause such offence to some posters. You've succeeded in making me feel useless and pathetic. How sad.

Even on busy roads school routes have lollipop men and women to ensure safe crossing
I'm not sure where you live but round here the lollipop staff are stationed only on the roads adjacent to the school grounds.

Theres no provision anywhere outside of 10steps of the school gate, let alone up to a mile radius.

Could his dad help out for a couple more days a week?

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

Even on busy roads school routes have lollipop men and women to ensure safe crossing I'm not sure where you live but round here the lollipop staff are stationed only on the roads adjacent to the school grounds.

Theres no provision anywhere outside of 10steps of the school gate, let alone up to a mile radius.

Zero lollipop men or ladies at our school

@LittleMysSister

Could his dad help out for a couple more days a week?

His bio dad absolutely will not help me out and his step dad helps when he can.

That sounds like an ideal solution.

A mile is a 20 minute walk, this is not far.

It can be. When the girls were little they would stop and chat and look at things. DH started it when they were at nursery and its continued. He used to walk along with them chatting about their day, speaking to people, just generally taking their time. I just wanted to get home with them.

Getting a bit of help from the school will be great, you may need it afterwards as well while the baby is new.

We no longer have a lollipop Man at our school there use to be two but there are none anymore. There is none at all on the walk down to the school which is a mile, why don’t people realise all schools are different!

Our local schools are allowing independent walking from Y5 but not Y4, they encourage at least dropping off at the last road crossing if coming by car or if not able to walk all the way.
Could you take the first bus and see him onto the second bus, or walk to the start of the second bus, or take the first bus and walk the second half? Some combination thereof. Or find someone else that catches the second bus and meet them there.

(Or walk there and bus back of course!)

If it's only a mile, then each bus must be quite a short ride?

There has been a couple of threads recently where posters who are struggling with pain or chronic illness have been treated dreadfully by insensitive people who are lucky enough to enjoy good health. It is really nasty and ignorant behaviour.
OP I understand what it is like to be in constant pain. I hope you get the support you need.

@endofagain

There has been a couple of threads recently where posters who are struggling with pain or chronic illness have been treated dreadfully by insensitive people who are lucky enough to enjoy good health. It is really nasty and ignorant behaviour. OP I understand what it is like to be in constant pain. I hope you get the support you need.

Thank you

I shouldn't let it get to me but this thread has really upset me. I can't believe how some people have been responding. I feel like such a fucking failure.

I love how schools say they will "allow" walking. I just told the school what we were doing - it was more at the end of the day where they needed my permission to let them out on their own.

what if you took the first bus so the distance is shorter?

I haven't seen a lollipop lady/man in ten years+.

Suggest a local walking bus? If there’s enough interest it could be a great thing for all the local kids, not just yours.