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Original poster

School runs are killing me, what can I do?

230 replies

Redovwrcoat · 27/09/2021 08:57

I'm 21 weeks pregnant and have a 9 year old ds.

His school is just under a mile walk door to door. We used to walk, no problem but now I am really struggling. I am heavy, my back hurts, I struggle for breath and I feel sick all the time. I have other complications that make it a daily struggle. It's only going to get worse.

There is a way we can go via public transport but it inolves 2 buses. They are unreliable and neither bus stop has seating. I'm struggling to stand for any length of time.

I don't drive although I've passed my theory recently and am waiting for lessons.

My dh drives and on the days he's not on early or doesn't have to drive his dc to school (they go to another school) he takes my ds but that's few and far between.

I'm new to the area so don't know anyone who could help. I feel awkward asking the school mums. Maybe I could pay them to pick up and drop off?? Is that a thing?

Can't really afford cabs every day

I am hoping someone comes up with a magical idea that I haven't thought of, because I can't take much more of this.

😭

OP posts:
HunkyPunk · 27/09/2021 10:12

But surely he doesn't have to cross over the same road more than once

Where do you live, where you can walk a mile along the same side of the road and not have to cross side roads/junctions/mini roundabouts? There’s usually more to negotiate than one main road which you cross once.

PrimaryMumma · 27/09/2021 10:13

@ojojojoja

People are suggesting the OP get a "mobility" scooter and not a normal scooter. That is one of those things that older people use that they sit on, not one you stand on.
These mobility scooters are really good! My sis and I both had hip issues when pregnant and they were a godsend.

Also if there is anything really aching ask doc for physio? I had some when my hip got really bad and it gave me 2-3 months more mobility than my sis had.

Or how about one of those push frame things that you can also sit on? I know they don’t look the coolest but being able to stop and sit for five mins every so often might help?

Sorry I’m just randomly brainstorming now, but sharing just in case any of it helps or sparks a different idea.

Good luck with asking for transport as well - I know some people are able to piggyback on existing school taxi/transport, so you never know.

Original poster
Redovwrcoat · 27/09/2021 10:13

@isitweds9thseptyet

Id also develop a longer term plan. How soon after birth do you expect to be fighting fit and ready to do this tricky journey with your newborn?

Even with the cabs-could you do it on Tuesday and Thursdays so that on mon wed and fri you know you have a break the next day. So mentally thats a help.

Very good point.

I'm likely to need a c section, in January. Im going to need something in place. It's going to be dark, cold, frosty mornings...not ideal for a woman recovering from surgery.

Ds is with his dad some of the time anyway so those days I know I'll have rest. Dh will be able to help more as he'll be settled into the job and more able to negotiate hours. In fact I will speak to him about it tonight. I don't think he knows how much I'm struggling and is always eager to sort any issues.

Will check out Facebook and neighbourhood today. I think I'd feel more comfortable paying someone for their time.

OP posts:

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user14597 · 27/09/2021 10:16

Ask on your school/local area facebook if there are any childminders who would do this.
This comes up all the time on our school/local area facebook and names are always forthcoming.
Then at least you know the person is qualified and responsible.
Plus then you are paying (probably not much) and don't owe everyone favours, and no-one will be resentful or begrudging (often people doing favours are fine at the start, but as posts on MN frequently illustrate, people soon get fed up).

Lockdownbear · 27/09/2021 10:17

@ojojojoja most were suggesting mobility scooters but someone did suggest an adult scooter or bike I took that to mean a normal scooter.
And thought that's going to cause pelvic issues all her weight on one leg.

I think the best idea is an appeal on the What's App group and ask school if they can help with transport.

I know that the Dad has a responsibility to but he obviously works shifts it's likely that 9am is mid shift and not just a go in 20mins late after the school run.

Summerbreeze4 · 27/09/2021 10:19

A mile is a 20 minute walk, this is not far. I’d be visiting your GP f you can’t comfortably walk for 20 mins at 21 weeks pregnant.

Is there a coffee shop or park you have a rest in before walking back. I would keep walking, it is good for your health and if you are not very fit then stopping will only make you less fit and your health issues will be worse.

HarebrightCedarmoon · 27/09/2021 10:20

A mile is a 20 minute walk, this is not far. I’d be visiting your GP f you can’t comfortably walk for 20 mins at 21 weeks pregnant

Sure, but have you heard of SPD? Quite a common thing affecting women in pregnancy and not a lot can be done about it other than "have the baby". Some people have difficult pregnancies, don't start blaming the OP.

Summerbreeze4 · 27/09/2021 10:22

I don’t think you can appeal on what’s app for help with one 9 year old, I guess from your post that you aren’t working at the moment. Other mums will think you are taking the piss, there will be other mums walking with proms and toddlers in tow, some whilst also pregnant.
Really you need to address your health issues, how will you cope when your baby is born.

Original poster
Redovwrcoat · 27/09/2021 10:23

The school just called! They are giving my number to a TA who passes by our house and might be happy to pick ds up and drop off for a small charge ... I am so relieved, let's hope this works out! TA will call me later.

Only problem is...and I had to stifle a giggle...ds has a bit of a vendetta against this TA...she is always "telling him off for no reason"

He will be delighted with the arrangement 😂

OP posts:
Antinerak · 27/09/2021 10:23

I have no other advice but my pregnant friend is struggling with back pain and ordered one of these

www.amazon.co.uk/FITTOO-Maternity-Support-Pregnancy-Available/dp/B077TNKKDB?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

Check with your midwife if it's safe for you, but short term it might make you a bit comfier.

GoWalkabout · 27/09/2021 10:23

You need to pay your ds then too 😂

Lockdownbear · 27/09/2021 10:24

Glad they've come up with something. Good luck with your pregnancy.

FallingStar21 · 27/09/2021 10:25

You say you do swimming 3 days a week. Any additional exercise will make you feel more tired, so if you didnt go swimming perhaps you will have more energy to do the school run?

Original poster
Redovwrcoat · 27/09/2021 10:25

I work full time and have to be logged on for 9am every day.

I really don't understand some of the negative comments being spouted on this thread. I came on for support, not to be shot down.

OP posts:
MyDcAreMarvel · 27/09/2021 10:27

Mobility scooters are about £100 second hand on eBay. You don’t need storage for the small ones.

Summerbreeze4 · 27/09/2021 10:28

@HarebrightCedarmoon

A mile is a 20 minute walk, this is not far. I’d be visiting your GP f you can’t comfortably walk for 20 mins at 21 weeks pregnant

Sure, but have you heard of SPD? Quite a common thing affecting women in pregnancy and not a lot can be done about it other than "have the baby". Some people have difficult pregnancies, don't start blaming the OP.

Blaming how? If someone is otherwise quite well then walking for 20 mins at 21 weeks pregnant then should t be an issue and I am merely suggesting that op addresses the health issues.

And as for suggesting a 9 year old walk iver a Mike by themselves, utter madness!

Gladresolved with TA.

HerculesMulligan · 27/09/2021 10:28

"Other mums will think you are taking the piss"

Only if they're idiots. I've had a pregnancy with SPD where I couldn't have walked for 20 mins under any circumstances, and a pregnancy where I was absolutely fine to go out dancing for hours at a gig at 20 weeks. Other mums will completely get that every pregnancy is different and some are more challenging than others. You and your mum friends must be horrible to each other, SummerBreeze.

Weatherwax13 · 27/09/2021 10:28

Get on the whatsapp. You're only asking for help for a few months. Hopefully one of the mums is near you. I'm sure you won't be the only one in the group to have suffered a difficult pregnancy, so I'd hope someone would give you a hand. Don't be embarrassed to ask for help.

Lockdownbear · 27/09/2021 10:29

@FallingStar21

You say you do swimming 3 days a week. Any additional exercise will make you feel more tired, so if you didnt go swimming perhaps you will have more energy to do the school run?
Depending on her issues swimming could be the best thing as long as she doesn't do breaststroke kicks. If the issue pelvic pain, I could hardly walk any distance but I could swim. Ones load baring one isn't.
Milkbottlelegs · 27/09/2021 10:29

[quote DumplingsAndStew]@Redovwrcoat

the road leading to to the school is very long and busy...it has 3 mini roundabouts and a load of crossings

But surely he doesn't have to cross over the same road more than once Confused[/quote]
I really hope you don’t drive if you can’t picture a scenario where you have to negotiate multiple crossing and roundabouts when walking down one road.

Original poster
Redovwrcoat · 27/09/2021 10:29

@FallingStar21

You say you do swimming 3 days a week. Any additional exercise will make you feel more tired, so if you didnt go swimming perhaps you will have more energy to do the school run?
I can't win.

Do no extra exercise...no wonder I'm too unfit for the school run!

Do light swimming 3 times a week...you're doing it wrong! No wonder you can't do the school run!

FFS

OP posts:
HerculesMulligan · 27/09/2021 10:29

The TA plan sounds good, OP! Great that the school was able to help.

RussianSpy101 · 27/09/2021 10:30

I hope you get somewhere with the WhatsApp group and school, you’re still only just over halfway so I really hope you find a solution.

RevolvingPivot · 27/09/2021 10:30

I don't know the answer to be honest but I'm not sure what school can do?

They can't pay for a taxi or get a teacher to pick him up.

You've said he can't get to breakfast club when you're DH leaves early.

Frazzled2207 · 27/09/2021 10:32

@Xiaoxiong

I'd just say on both the whatsapp and to the school secretary:

"Does anyone walk by/near our house on the way to school? We live at . I'm really struggling to walk any distance with my pregnancy and was wondering if DS could walk along with someone to school?"

Worst thing that happens is you don't hear back, and then you're in the same position you were before.

something like this. I would totally help out a pregnant mum if I could, even if it was a few days a week. I had horrendous PGP when pregnant and couldn't walk more than a couple of hundred yards some days. If it wasn't out of my way I wouldn't expect to be paid though a bottle of wine would be nice.