What the fuck do I do? Life fallen apart overnight

[Darkestdays]

I'm a mum to a 2 year old and I'm pregnant with my second. I work 15 hours per week and don't earn much. DH has been a high earner for past 6 years. We've just taken out a big mortgage 8 months ago.

He's been a grumpy bastard for the past 3 weeks, we've argued loads and tonight I lost it and said I can't deal with how argumentative he's being when I'm exhausted with pregnancy sick with HG, looking after toddler and working PT and wtf is wrong with him. He burst into tears, I've never seen him cry before, and admits he's lost his job.

It was a career in a cut throat industry and they simply decided he wasn't doing well enough and he was gone. He had a formal disciplinary a week ago. I'm furious he didn't tell me so we could of tried to find him a union rep but he's done it all alone for fear of disappointing me.

He's upset that I'm not supporting him since it all came out tonight but I'm just in bits. How are we supposed to cope without his salary? He earns £65k and I earn £7k! I can't afford our council tax bill on top of nursery fees let alone the mortgage. We can't sell within the first year can we, aren't we going to be in negative equity and end up in debt for years? I feel like my life has just fallen apart

They need to work this out together. Approach the mortgage company if they are having difficulty making payments. I agree its about thinking straight and doing everything to minimise the losses. Maybe approach a debt charity for advice in dealing with it.

[quote Derbee]@JinglingHellsBells it’s fairly easy to get short term consent to let from most mortgage lenders. It doesn’t seem a sensible option for OP, but I’ve never heard of a mortgage lender not giving at least 6 months consent to let[/quote]
Do you know that for sure or is it another 'uninformed myth' on this thread?

I can't see how they would gain anything.

They'd have all the hassle of moving ( costs money).
They'd struggle to get a lease anyway if the DH is unemployed (a landlord would want references.)
They'd take a risk that their tenant might not pay the rent
Why would renting be any cheaper than a mortgage anyway?

In my area, a family home with at least 2 beds would be the same as the mortgage or more - around £1200 a month plus bills etc.

Most isn't all though is it. Most morgage providers would prefer to get their money back.
It goes without saying they would need to rent something smaller, or even stay with family short term if possible.
It would allow them to move to an area with better employment opportunities too.
As for renter's doing a runner, if sensible precautions are taken like references and deposits it isn't really that likely.

Poor you OP, how awful but as others have said you need to take practical steps now. The first thing is contact the mortgage company and tell them what's happened, don't wait until the payment is due, they can be very helpful, is your mortgage a repayment or interest only? If it's a repayment some (not all) mortgage companies allow you to switch to interest only for a few months or a have a payment holiday. It's been asked but I'm not sure if you've answered it, can your DH go freelance/self employed?

I hope your bloke never loses his job @Bluntness100. His life would be hell.

As for renter's doing a runner, if sensible precautions are taken like references and deposits it isn't really that likely

I can assure you it is a possibility.
A friend of mine is still chasing her tenants for 3 months rent. Professional tenants, and a deposit is ONE month's rent only.

Are you able to speak to the mortgage company and take a mortgage holiday where you pay interest only for a few months? It won’t make a big difference but they might be able to suggest some other way of helping you.

I wouldn't risk renting out your home OP. It is almost impossible to evict a tenant in under 6 months if they fail to pay their rent. You would end up with more stress and more debt.
IMO, a mortgage holiday and selling to downsize is a safer option.
Don't tell the EA you need a quick sale. Put the house on at market value and see how it goes.
We get estate agent blurb through our door every week. I dont know where you live, but it is definitely a seller's market where I am.

I smell bollocks, 'cut throat industry' or not, you don't get a disciplinary and then dismissed without reason. I'd be more concerned about that tbh.

I haven’t read the full thread just the first few pages.

This is a shock don’t make sudden big decisions like sell your house and go into rented (not that it would be a fast process).

You need to work together.

A couple of friends have had similar albeit redundancies not sackings and both were in a job in months. In fact the pay offs helped them make overpayments to mortgage once they were in their new job.

In the current environment maybe he could get something WFH?

If it’s a big house How about a lodger or two to get some immediate income into the house?

I don't really understand how a house you bought 8 months ago has negative equity. How much did you buy it for? How much was the deposit? How much is your mortgage loan?

That aside, DH needs to get out looking for another job that pays similarly to what he had before. It may be that whilst he is off you need to get a second part time job so you can afford to feed the DC etc.

Do you have savings?

With so many jobs being WFH now, location shouldn't be so much of an issue surely?

What was the disciplinary for? If he was shit at his job it would be capability or poor performance process. Disciplinary implies he has done something wrong/misconduct issue - what has he told you about it? How long had he worked there? If more than two years he may have an unfair dismissal claim. If he has been fired for misconduct through the disciplinary process, what's the situation re references? There should have been some agreement in writing when he was sacked.

Definitely agree with PP to speak to mortgage company asap and ask for help.

Even if you do have to sell the house and have the debt to pay off, things will be OK OP. They may be different to how you envisaged/planned for, but they will be alright.

@Autumndays123 you CAN get consent to let on Help To Buy, if it’s short term, and for reasons such as work. It’s all available to read

www.gov.uk/guidance/how-to-sublet-your-help-to-buy-home#when-well-allow-you-to-sublet-your-entire-home

@JinglingHellsBells I know that as a fact. For personal circumstances like the majority of mortgage lenders will grant short term consent to let. If you read my post though, you’d know I had already agreed that it wasn’t practical in OP’s case.

@Blossomtoes

You can return a lease car. In fact, if you can’t pay for it, they come and take it away.

No. You can't just return a lease car.

Do you not actually understand what a lease is? It's not PCP or HP.

If you don't pay the lease payments, yes they may well take it back, but you'll still owe them perhaps 90% of all outstanding payments for the rest of the contract, even though you no longer have the car.

It's nothing like voluntarily terminating a PCP agreement, for example.

Unfortunately a lot of people don't understand leasing but still go for it and that's because of so many people talking about 'leasing' when they're actually meaning 'PCP'. So now a good number of people think they're all the same thing and don't realise what they're getting into.

Default on PCP and you might lose your car.

Default on a lease and you might be bankrupted and lose your house.

Read into it before giving bad advice to people on a subject you don't understand.

Renting their own home is such a daft idea for so many reasons.

Not least, which landlord in their right mind would rent to them when at the moment their annual income is only £7k? (And would be funded in the main by rent from their house with a huge mortgage.)

I doubt the OP is coming back, but no one gets dismissed from a job without verbal warnings, then a written warning, UNLESS their is gross misconduct.

If he simply wasn't performing well and bringing in business, it could have been handled as redundancy if the company wanted to get rid of the 'job' and let him go with some form of payment.

@CoronaLightSweet

Can he get a job delivering fuel?

Probably not. HGV petrol tanker drivers have to have extra training because of the dangerous cargo they carry. I know someone who does it for a living {Good earner} and he'll be coining it in in this market. But it is unsocial hours ..He was getting home at 3am.

@idontlikealdi

I smell bollocks, 'cut throat industry' or not, you don't get a disciplinary and then dismissed without reason. I'd be more concerned about that tbh.

Happens all the time. If a business is failing, downsizing or being taken over - rather than letting people go and paying out severance - some companies slightly change the goalposts of employees KPI or diminish resource allocations/budgets thus making targets impossible to maintain. Either so you leave out of frustration or they have a valid reason to fire you.

Ok I’ve caught up (on the ops comments and some of the rest at least!)

£2500 is manageable. First you need to go through all of those expenses and see where you might be able to cut (less on food, Netflix etc, can you get cheaper mobile deals or are you locked in and so on). People on here are always keen to help with budgets 😁 I hear money saving expert forum is good too.

Then you need to look at maximising income. Soooo if you’ve had about 70k income between you how close could you get to that. Timings awful for you being heavily pregnant but you’re not utilising your whole tax allowance so if you could up your income to 12.5k you’d literally take home £1k a month or there abouts.

Which means if he can find something that takes home £1.5k you can get by for now? And that might be possible very quickly in the current labour market.

I’m more concerned about what he’s done to lose the job. If he’s been fired it’s very different from redundancy or firm going bust. It’s his doing and personally I’d want to know what happened. If he’s not been coping and it’s performance that’s one thing, if he’s done something that’s gross misconduct that’s different again.

You will get through this though.

@MyPatronusIsACat what mortgage criteria would you set then? Especially single adult income.

In the short-term, is there anything else DH can do? We have a similar family set-up and DH has always kept his alcohol license going and took his HGV license a few years ago, as these mean he could pretty much always get something if needed. While it might not be straight forwards for DH to drive a tanker, can he look into getting his HGV license, if you have a bit of money put away. Alternatively, lots of van companies are recruiting. One of you should be able to pick up something, even if it doesn't bring your income back to normal. Once have sufficient income, you can start to look at what your DH wants to do longer term and where you want to live.

@ejhhhhh

Well that's a bummer. There's a lesson here then (I wasn't aware of this, but then I've only ever paid cash for cars), that to lease a car is a terrible financial decision. What happens if they sell the car? Would they be allowed to do that? Then at least they'd have some money to put towards the money they owe the lease company. It sounds like they're going to be on the hook for repayments regardless, and they can't afford the repayments, so what happens in that scenario?

If it's truly a lease and not just finance, then no they can't sell the car as it's not theirs. They won't even have a log book.

A lease is simply long term personal contract hire. It's really no different to hiring a car for a day, or a week, or whatever, other than you're signing up to a contract for a much, much longer term.

If you can't make the lease payments it would be the same as not fulfilling your side of any other contract you've signed. Possibly court and bankruptcy.

Could you rent one of your bedrooms out on Air BnB?

@Blossomtoes

I hope your bloke never loses his job *@Bluntness100*. His life would be hell.

He hasn't lost his job though. He has pissed it away through an act or acts of gross misconduct, whilst his wife is unwell and pregnant.

I deal with HR stuff for work and I know just how difficult it is to move someone on who is not cutting the mustard. Gross misconduct is a really high bar.

He's a grade a cunt.

Get an HGV license has become the new take in ironing.

Hi OP.
I cannot imagine how awful and stressful this must be for you both.
I would recommend your DH has a chat with his GP or looks at self referring online for mental health support. Yes, he may have done something awful at work but equally he may not and they may have been looking to cut the weakest sales person.

The disciplinary process has a right to appeal built into it. He needs to discuss what happened with ACAS. They will give the best FREE advice and support. Most businesses fail at disciplinary as the process was not followed properly.

He may not want to go back, but an appeal could result in an improved pay off and less stress long-term.
Good luck.

Pure supposition @thedancingbear. Based on zero facts because OP hasn’t given us any. If you’re an example of what HR departments are employing these days, we’re fucked.