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Original poster

Thoughts on breastfeeding in public

154 replies

BunnytheFriendlyDragon · 09/09/2021 09:59

I'm a BFing mum. Baby is around 3 months old. I haven't fed yet in front of many people or out in public. When I do, I try to latch him on discreetly but have only really done it in baby friendly places like baby groups. Then again I've answered the door with baby latched on Grin

What were / are your experiences of BFing in public?

Any tips?

What do you think of mums who BF in public whether discreetly or less discreetly?

OP posts:
Thislittlefinger123 · 09/09/2021 10:02

I fed wherever/whenever my DC were hungry. I'd not intentionally flash anyone but I also didn't make huge efforts to cover up or hide. If someone is offended by the sight of breastfeeding they are the one with weird issues not the mum feeding her baby Smile

Original poster
BunnytheFriendlyDragon · 09/09/2021 10:06

I think we start off being a bit shy and then just don't care!

I remember my SIL basically had her whole boob out once when we were in a restaurant and I was a bit shocked and vowed I would cover up but I don't think it's as simple as that!

OP posts:
Original poster
BunnytheFriendlyDragon · 09/09/2021 10:06

But yes it's perfectly natural so why are people so sensitive about it. It's not normalised enough in our society when so many things are.

OP posts:

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Submariner · 09/09/2021 10:11

When I first started I set myself up in my head for any potential aggro, but I never had any negative comments or looks. Breastfed twice to about 1 year old. Most of the time I think people don't notice you're doing it, they just see a sleeping baby in your lap. I have had people get right up close and look at baby and then realise! Grin

DailyMailSucksWhales · 09/09/2021 10:12

Nobody should disapprove of babies getting fed well.
Anyone who disapproves of babies being fed has a screw loose.

Lilyfalls · 09/09/2021 10:13

Honestly no one cares (and if they do they are an absolute weirdo and you have a legal right to feed anywhere).

I wasted too much time caring and wish I’d just got on with it. It sucks because I feel like I missed out and I'm not breastfeeding my twins anymore so missed the experience of just feeding anywhere. I hate faffing with bottles and if I was feeding now I would just get my boobs out anywhere to do it. God help anyone who had a problem with it.

If you want to be discrete then two tops worked for me, or a muslin- not covering their face but just tucked into my bra. The baby covers most of it anyway.

Good luck and honestly it’s highly unlikely anyone will notice or comment.

Houserenoqueen · 09/09/2021 10:14

I’ve never had any issues. Still feeding 17 month old dd but not often in public these days. Be confident and no one will give you a second glance. Good luck!

FlatStanletta · 09/09/2021 10:17

I have been breastfeeding almost without a break for almost 9 years (3 kids).

I have fed literally everywhere from park benches to supermarkets to trains to swimming pools to posh hotel bars and airports. You name it, I’ve probably breastfed there.

Literally no one has ever said anything negative.

I was so ready for someone to say something as it’s actually illegal to discriminate against a breastfeeding woman such as by asking her to move or cover up.

But no. Nothing. Mainly people are smiling and supportive!

Go for it and feed your baby! It needs to be a totally normal sight.

FlatStanletta · 09/09/2021 10:18

Oh and I always just lifted my top so baby was covering my tummy and the top / baby’s head is covering the boob. There is literally nothing to see apart from a brief second when latching on!

Amz6219 · 09/09/2021 10:20

I was the same, nobody seemed to be bothered but I was - i'm a bit of a prude tbh!

I had a BF cover which went over my shoulder and over baby which was great - felt a lot more comfortable :)

jusdepamplemousse · 09/09/2021 10:21

Just crack on. If anyone cares that’s their problem. And I don’t stand for any of the ‘as long as it’s discreet’ nonsense either. Only someone who hasn’t breastfed or hasn’t breastfed a baby past the newborn stage would come out with that. They don’t want to be covered up with a big sheet and they will pull off to smile / look around etc. They’re babies, they need fed. Nothing to do with anyone else.

Amz6219 · 09/09/2021 10:22

By I was bothered I mean I felt uncomfortable BFing in public, not that anyone else BFing in public would bother me one bit! Hope that makes sense...

LittleGungHo · 09/09/2021 10:25

I have been feeding my son in public for 5 months (pubs/high street/ music festival). I think it is completely normalised, I have never had a funny look or comment.

My preference is a top up and vest down to reduce my boob being on show, but this is my preference rather than due to others.

Aozora13 · 09/09/2021 10:28

I BF my two whenever, wherever. I’m not generally comfortable showing too much flesh but found it fine to use a strategically placed top/shirt/scarf to minimise flashing. And once I’d got used to it, rarely gave it a second thought.

I did have a moment bf in an old fashioned tea room in a quaint village where an elderly waitress approached me. I was all geared up to quote the equality act at her, but she was just bringing me a glass of water! Felt v guilty about being so judgmental! In fact the only negative comments I received were from my MIL and that was in the comfort of my own home…

Peanutsandchilli · 09/09/2021 10:30

Breastfed 5 children in public and I've never once had anything said to me. I've noticed a few women doing the same, just think they're doing amazingly and I've not given it a second thought. You'll get used to doing it so discreetly that it'll be second nature after a while. I remember one time when I breastfed my second child whilst walking around a farm with my eldest, who was 4, and too impatient to wait to see the animals.

ChampagneKisses · 09/09/2021 10:31

@BunnytheFriendlyDragon

I'm a BFing mum. Baby is around 3 months old. I haven't fed yet in front of many people or out in public. When I do, I try to latch him on discreetly but have only really done it in baby friendly places like baby groups. Then again I've answered the door with baby latched on Grin

What were / are your experiences of BFing in public?

Any tips?

What do you think of mums who BF in public whether discreetly or less discreetly?

The first one is the hardest. Go for a coffee with a friend who is supportive and just see how it goes. With my first I wouldn't feed anywhere but the car when we were out which was so hard. With my second I was a little braver and by my third it wasn't even a consideration not to x
SmallSilverElephant · 09/09/2021 10:31

@Thislittlefinger123

I fed wherever/whenever my DC were hungry. I'd not intentionally flash anyone but I also didn't make huge efforts to cover up or hide. If someone is offended by the sight of breastfeeding they are the one with weird issues not the mum feeding her baby Smile
This exactly.

I fed mine whenever they were hungry. I fed everywhere. I only had positive responses. A couple of embarrassed "oh I'm sorry!" comments when someone looked at the baby and then realised what I was doing but I often had cups of tea and glasses of water brought to me in cafes that I hadn't asked for, lots of smiles and a number of positive comments.

I fed wherever I was and didn't even consider whether it was 'appropriate'. I was as discreet as possible - eg didn't sit there topless - but didn't worry too much about a quick flash of nipple whilst getting them latched on or boob view whilst feeding. I was never asked to leave anywhere.

In fact, the only people who ever commented negatively one breastfeeding were the nurses in the SCBU, who were concerned that the sight of a breastfeeding mother might embarrass the dads who were in there visiting their own babies, and my family 🤷🏻‍♀️

SmallSilverElephant · 09/09/2021 10:35

@BunnytheFriendlyDragon

But yes it's perfectly natural so why are people so sensitive about it. It's not normalised enough in our society when so many things are.
Because boobs are for men to enjoy sexually Hmm so it makes some men feel 'icky' to see it - they either view it as a sexual thing or feel uncomfortable seeing breasts so near to babies when they are so used to fantasising about having their cock/face between them.

Some women don't like it because they also see breasts as a sexual thing amd have a similar response. Or don't lilenthebdiw aof their partner's being able to see them.

I literally can't imagine any other reason why.

Stompythedinosaur · 09/09/2021 10:41

I fed wherever I needed to. No one ever commented.

OhRene · 09/09/2021 10:41

I fed my baby everywhere! Well, everywhere that was safe of course. Three babies, all for more than a year each. I never got a negative reaction in public. At least not to my face that I noticed. I'd walk round Tesco carrying a newborn and you'd never know he was nursing.

My inlaws were different though. They would shudder and say how gross it was. Words like "inappropriate", "weird" disgusting" and (I struggle to say this one without an eye roll) "Unnatural!" We're thrown about. Yeah. They're that dumb.

crystalspiders · 09/09/2021 10:43

I breastfeed both of mine in public. My eldest is a bit past usual age but only breastfeeds if he needs comfort. I don’t care if people judge.

twinningatlife · 09/09/2021 10:44

Personally I didn't feel Comfortable but I had twins so couldn't really cover up discretely.
I'm all for breastfeeding in public if you want to do it but sitting their basically naked from the waist up with everything on show I personally think is a bit "look at me" and goady - I've seen women do it with almost this smug look daring people to complain/take offence so that they can then post on social media that they were outraged at being asked to cover up. Just because we have a legal right to do something like breastfeeding in public doesn't mean we can't be respectful when we do do it

TwinsandTrifle · 09/09/2021 10:46

I think it all depends. You can easily breastfeed a baby without drawing attention to yourself. It's when people draw attention then get all "oh my god, what's your problem, this is just nature, you can just, you know, not look" that I eyeroll.

I bf DTwins out and about. Discretely. I had a feeding cover, so you'd know from that I was bf but you couldn't see anything. Vs a woman I saw on a bench in our local park gardens in the summer. With her vest top round her waist both sides. The baby latched on to one breast. The other, just out. This is completely unnecessary. And massively draws attention. I did a double take. Because it's human for your gaze to be taken by something you weren't expecting. Lots of people did the same. And she snapped at a man (who was looking no more than I had) "it's called feeding my child get over it". Sorry, no. What you're doing with your left breast is. The other is flashing. And you know it. Don't dress it up as breastfeeding.

99% of women manage to breast feed completely normally, respectful of themselves, their surroundings and others within them. There's a minority who don't, only they know why, and try and use the golden word of "breast feeding" to behave a certain way then deliberately act professionally offended.

OhRene · 09/09/2021 10:48

My tips for feeding out are do it discretely if you prefer. If you don't, then go for it. It's natural and normal.

I used nursing tops that had the ability to be pulled apart or aside to let a baby latch without exposing any boob. Not only were the tops good for nursing but they looked great too as hung well and they kept my nasty looking tummy covered. (I'd rather expose my breasts than my tummy back then)
I didn't use a cover. They're hot. They're awkward. The stifle the baby when it's warm out and for me, I felt like they were a huge neon sign over my head saying "SHES GOT HER BOOBS OUT HERE EVERYONE!!! BOOBS HERE!!!"

I'd use a cover for a few minutes at first to get baby latched then off it came but once I was practiced enough I didn't use it at all.

Pikamoo · 09/09/2021 10:49

I usually used a breastfeeding cover with DD when she was tiny as she'd keep coming off and on and I just wasn't that confident. Once she was bigger and better at feeding and I felt more confident I didn't bother with it (plus she'd have just pulled it off lol).