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Original poster

Thoughts on breastfeeding in public

154 replies

BunnytheFriendlyDragon · 09/09/2021 09:59

I'm a BFing mum. Baby is around 3 months old. I haven't fed yet in front of many people or out in public. When I do, I try to latch him on discreetly but have only really done it in baby friendly places like baby groups. Then again I've answered the door with baby latched on Grin

What were / are your experiences of BFing in public?

Any tips?

What do you think of mums who BF in public whether discreetly or less discreetly?

OP posts:
loveisanopensore · 09/09/2021 10:49

Nobody ever said anything to me.

I'm pretty sure I mortified a teenage boy one day when I fed on the bus but the alternative was baby screaming her head off. He just went pink and looked at the ceiling.

Knittingupastorm · 09/09/2021 10:54

I breastfed wherever. I mainly wore blouses with a nursing vest underneath, so undid the blouse and unhooked the vest.
I never got any comments, and if anyone gave me disapproving looks I didn’t notice. I don’t think anyone really cared/noticed. I got one supportive smile from an elderly lady while I was feeding on a bench once, but that was the only time I noticed anyone paying any attention at all while out and about.
I answered the door to the Sainsbury’s delivery driver while feeding once and he unloaded it all for me in the kitchen so it has its perks!

OhRene · 09/09/2021 10:58

I recall mortifying two lovely ladies in Tesco. DH was carrying 2 day old DS. DS started crying and the ladies passing just smiled and cooed over the newborn. On the next aisle they saw us again, this time, DS quite content and quiet in my arms. The ladies came up close for a look at his face and said, "aw, he just wanted mummy eh?"
Then they went bright red and started apologising once they peered right at him latched on to my boob. I laughed it off and said, "He only prefers me cos of these"

I always think of those poor, embarrassed women. I had no issue at all with people seeing that. DS was my third. Breastfeeding was second nature to me by then.

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Sprogonthetyne · 09/09/2021 11:14

I never had any negative comments from the general public. I didn't deliberately flash anyone but also wasn't overly careful. I didn't use covers or buy special breastfeeding clothes, just pulled my normal top either up or down depending on the neckline, and the baby covered most of me anyway.

For the first few months with DC1 my mother would 'helpfully' suggest near by baby change/ toilets if she was with me and I was feeding in a cafe or bench, but after I ignored her a few times she got the message. So I think it was just what she would have done (in 80's), as apose to judgment as such.

crazyguineapiglady · 09/09/2021 11:18

I used to just wear a low cut top or something with buttons so I could just pull my top down.

Never had any comments or even any looks that I noticed.

Mariell · 09/09/2021 11:38

I breastfed both of mine, my daughter was over three years when I stopped and no one ever saw my breasts as I either had a shawl or my long hair around them and it only ever looked like I was cuddling my infants/child.

I’ve breastfed on the steps of St Pauls, restaurants, Stately Homes, on a a pile of rugs in Ikea, you name it I’ve breastfed there!

DappledThings · 09/09/2021 11:44

I've fed pretty much everywhere you can think off too. Never bothered with a scarf or any of that faff.

2 babies both ebf to 6 months and the only comment I ever got were positive. And that was a total of 3 ever.

Shirleyphallus · 09/09/2021 11:46

I breastfed mine in public a lot and never had any comments

I do wonder on the Venn diagram of expanse of tit on display and comments received how much of an overlap there is

wonderstuff · 09/09/2021 11:48

Bf both dc until they were over 1, never had a negative reaction in public and I fed them everywhere, public transport, shopping centres, cafes. All good. Found a vest I could pull down and floaty top I could lift was easiest.

My extended family were a bit squeamish which I found odd.

Chillyjellytotty · 09/09/2021 11:49

I am breast feeding, I found it very awkward at first and was very self conscious, I had giant over producing leaky boobs which my baby found hard to latch onto. Around 4 months they settled down and I can latch her on very easily now without anyone really noticing. I tend to wear shirts, wrap tops or t-shirts I can pull down. Much rather expose a boob that the wobbly stretched mum tum

TheyreTheSamePicture · 09/09/2021 11:49

Never had any comments positively or negatively. I fed both my DC outside the home hundreds of times. The vast, vast majority of the general public really don’t even notice or care.

I was on a bf group a few years ago and one of the other mums wanted to print some cards off to pass to other mums she saw breastfeeding out and about, saying well done, they were doing a such good job etc - quite a sweet sentiment but it would have made me cringe a bit - I was in the minority though, lots of others were all for the idea! Smile

Shmithecat2 · 09/09/2021 11:50

I bfd my ds until he was nearly 4yo, anywhere he needed/wanted to be fed. Not once was I made to feel uncomfortable. I never used a cover. But I also never looked to see if I was bothering anyone.

ItsSunnyOutside · 09/09/2021 11:50

The 1st time I bf in public, DD was 3 months old. I was in Costas and I remember feeling abit nervous. It was very busy and the only table I could find was sandwiched in between other people. I made more of a big deal about it then anyone else tbh, the only people who looked over were a group of girls smiling as they were looking at my dd. After that, I felt absolutely fine and tbh, quite empowered.

Dd recently turned 2 and I still bf, not as much in public because she can go longer without it in the day but if she does want ' boob', I feel confident doing it and don't have any problem bf whenever, wherever!

bridgeofslides · 09/09/2021 11:52

My thoughts are just do it. Eat the frog and feed in public. I am happy to be honest and say I really didn't want to when dd1 was wee. Then I fed her once in the loo at costa which stunk and after that convenience and nice surroundings took priority over strangers giving a f**k.

I fed both the dds for 2.5 years in total. I only really had one proper staring incident it was a man at a close by table in the cafe in marks and spencer. Dd2 promptly vomited all over the floor and it almost reached his feet. That stopped him!!

Cam2020 · 09/09/2021 12:01

I didn't BF but I couldn't care less about seeing other women doing it. I'm sure its one of those situations where people feel self conscious at first but the people around them aren't bothered ir think anything of it!

3JsMa · 09/09/2021 12:09

It always makes me smile when I see mom breastfeeding,it's beautiful and natural.
I had my first 2 DCs abroad where the society is fully supporting breastfeeding in public places (including people in a church were we attended a wedding with 3 month old DS,sitting in front of a priest).
It's absolutely crazy situation here,in the UK.
I had 2 more here and was feeling a bit uneasy but I found it shocking.
When you feed a child you do not expose yourself the way people make it up and secondly, you really have to stare hard to see the breast or nipple of breastfeeding mum.Bunch of weirdos and hypocrites who make it so sexual.
Go for it girl.

PissedOffNeighbour22 · 09/09/2021 12:10

I guess it depends how it was done. I was once having lunch with my ex husband and a woman walked over, sat on the spare seat at our table, whacked both her boobs out and started feeding.
Never said a word to us, just sat there watching us eat. There were spare tables so it's not like it it was the only spare seat available.
It was really uncomfortable so we just finished up as soon as we could and left. She got up and left just after we did. Very odd.

Personally I felt too self conscious to breast feed in public so never did it. I didn't breast feed for long though so I guess it just becomes the norm after a while and there won't always be somewhere you can get out of the way of people. As a PP said, I wouldn't have wanted to expose my stomach so would have gone for pulling my top down.
I've never seen or heard anyone being derogatory about breast feeding women so if you feel comfortable doing it, go for it. Much better than doing it in a stinky toilet like mentioned above.

snackysnacksnack · 09/09/2021 12:13

I was very conscious when baby was young. Used cover ups mostly (the jojo one is good) and would feed discreetly. I'd always leave the room at family gatherings etc to feed and so on.

My DS is now 21 months and doesn't know the meaning of the word discreet. He feeds and does all sorts of acrobatics, comes off to wave and smile at people. Whilst he doesn't often ask if we're out now as he's too busy but if he's hurt or tired or we're doing a whole day out he will.

I just don't care anymore. I feed him when it suits us and I don't care if my breast is on display or if others feel uncomfortable. I also don't care about people's judgements about me breastfeeding a toddler. It's actually very liberating to be honest.

Recently I was breastfeeding him sat on the floor in a que at a popular children's attraction and I noticed this woman looking. I just kissed his head and looked the other direction and told him to enjoy his milk. The que looped round and she leant over to speak to me and I thought , god here we go, she said it was so nice to see another BF mum in public and that her baby was only 10 weeks and she'd never seen anyone else BF in public before and she wondered if she was getting it wrong to do so.

It was actually lovely, and I'd presumed she was judging me. It was only me that was negative there.

One thing almost 2 years of parenting has shown me is that you'll be judged constantly and not to worry about it. If DS has a tantrum people will have opinions on the way I handle it, or just be generally annoyed or judge, I just don't care. I'm sure some people are horrified at me feeding a toddler and others will think it's natural and beautiful. Some people will like my parenting style and others will think I'm a push over / too soft / hippie but who cares?! As long as the children are happy and healthy and afforded a good level of care the way they're parented is personal and different things are right for different people.

MindyStClaire · 09/09/2021 12:16

Fed everywhere and anywhere until my babies got to the stage where they were easily distracted and then there was no point. Didn't worry about being discreet as I found faffing with covers and muslins made things harder. I have big boobs and suspect I showed more than I would have liked on occasion but oh well.

Never had as much as a negative glance, and the only comments were from other women saying it brought back lovely memories of feeding their own babies.

Totally agree about being happier showing my boobs than my tummy!

snackysnacksnack · 09/09/2021 12:18

Oh yeah the tummy thing is real. I'm slim and back to my pre baby size but my tummy is not toned like it used to be.

Breast vests are a god send. They're vests that stop below your bra so when you pull your t-shirt up your tummy is covered. Wear one under everything.

Lonelylooloo · 09/09/2021 12:18

I feed anywhere and everywhere!
Literally feed my 3 month old whilst walking around the supermarket if need be.

I also have an 18 month old I fed till he was a year old and was exactly the same with him.

The way I see it, either people can deal with listening to a screaming baby, or they can manage seeing me breast feed.

BuffySummersReportingforSanity · 09/09/2021 12:18

I breastfed both of my babies for nearly 3 years and just fed wherever I needed to. I never used a cover apart from very briefly with DS1.

I did have a number of comments. They were all from elderly ladies who came over to say how lovely it was to see a baby being breastfed and to reminisce about feeding their own babies.

Gwlondon · 09/09/2021 12:19

Just go for it. I used breastfeeding tops and breastfeeding bras. Hardly anything shows. The only people who said stuff to me was family.

I remember being in Copenhagen sitting down feeding. Then I saw someone walk past feeding. I did feel a realisation that there are other ways to do things and because we hardly see it we don't realise what is possible. I would have never thought to walk through a park, I always sat down.

Breastfeeding rates are low in the UK so just go for it. Someone might notice you but I doubt they will think anything.

Mumoftwoinprimary · 09/09/2021 12:46

Some pubs / restaurants are very open that they welcome breast feeders. I remember being given a list at a breastfeeding group I went to. That made it a lot easier the first time.

idontlikealdi · 09/09/2021 12:47

I couldn't bf for a myriad of reasons but of my friends who did, no one encountered negativity. One wore a modesty cover thing because she wanted to in line with her religious beliefs.

I whipped my pump out in Starbucks one day, plugged in to the phone charger point, no one even batted an eyelid at that or if they did it was internal.