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Original poster

Thoughts on breastfeeding in public

154 replies

BunnytheFriendlyDragon · 09/09/2021 09:59

I'm a BFing mum. Baby is around 3 months old. I haven't fed yet in front of many people or out in public. When I do, I try to latch him on discreetly but have only really done it in baby friendly places like baby groups. Then again I've answered the door with baby latched on Grin

What were / are your experiences of BFing in public?

Any tips?

What do you think of mums who BF in public whether discreetly or less discreetly?

OP posts:
ErrolTheDragon · 09/09/2021 15:56

The only way 'respect' is relevant to BF is that people should be respectful of women who are doing it. (And of women who feed their babies in other ways).

I never had any reactions other than benevolent ones when I was BF over 20 years ago.

SeriouslyISuppose · 09/09/2021 16:06

@TwinsandTrifle

I think it’s mildly disturbing that you’re equating bf to walking around in 8-inch red platforms and a Mohawk. The ‘unusual’ must mean something very different in your world. What a lot of bile you seem to be generating for people who don’t do things your way.

You couldn't be proving my point any more perfectly. Pretending that it's the bf because a completely topless woman happened to be bf at the time.

No no, it's comparing behaviour that is not what you see every day, such as sitting topless in a park with wearing something bright and unusual, as both will of course attract attention. The fact that the woman sat topless with her other breast out entirely uncovered, has got nothing to do with breastfeeding. It's someone doing something completely unnecessary whilst bf, that will knowingly cause that reaction, then pretending it's part of breast feeding.

But, please, continue to pretend that it's the bf at question, you couldn't be a more perfect example of what I'm talking about Smile

You go right ahead with your BF straw man. Hmm
NigellaSeed · 09/09/2021 16:16

My 15 month old has started wanting day feeds again. I don't mind feeding in public but I try and cover up. But I just read a thread where alot of people thought an OP feeding their 18m old was weird and it made me sad :/

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Breast & bottle feeding Families
Somethingsnappy · 09/09/2021 16:19

@NigellaSeed

My 15 month old has started wanting day feeds again. I don't mind feeding in public but I try and cover up. But I just read a thread where alot of people thought an OP feeding their 18m old was weird and it made me sad :/
I was on that thread too. Such a shame people feel like this. Unfathomable.
CatOfTheLand · 09/09/2021 16:24

I breastfed for 2.5 years and am breastfeeding my second baby still.

My top tip is to make a list of community centres and libraries wherever you're going. If you need a breastfeeding break then these are great places to sit down in.

Most shops will let you use their changing rooms too if you need a place to sit when our

MrsSugar · 09/09/2021 16:25

I haven’t been a breast feeding mum but can safely say I wouldn’t even bat an eyelid at any women who breast fed in public or in front of me! I’ve never seen anyone outrageously flash their breasts when feeding in face I’m in awe of how discrete and easy some women make it look ! My husband and any other male relations wouldn’t really look twice either. In fact I think some of them wouldn’t even notice it was going on !

crystalspiders · 09/09/2021 17:11

@NigellaSeed

My 15 month old has started wanting day feeds again. I don't mind feeding in public but I try and cover up. But I just read a thread where alot of people thought an OP feeding their 18m old was weird and it made me sad :/
My eldest is 3, he’ll be 4 in Feb. I will continue to breastfeed him as long as he wants it. It’s currently on for comfort/before bed now, but the average age for humans weaning off the breast is 2.5-7. In other cultures it’s extremely normal to practice full term breastfeeding, and even the WHO recommends at least breastfeeding until 2. Please don’t feel discouraged because of others opinions ❤️
NigellaSeed · 09/09/2021 18:21

Thank you. I wish I hadn't read that thread tbh, I hate the thought that something so lovely for me and my son is seen as unnatural or icky now that he's not a tiny baby.

But anyways, i hope this thread is more supportive for the OP.

Best advice I ever read was look at yourself in the mirror feeding and you will see babys head covers everything.

Somethingsnappy · 09/09/2021 18:49

@NigellaSeed. Don't be disheartened. I think people in our culture just lack education and exposure to/about the matter. It isn't helped by the fact that women feel discouraged from being open about how long they BF their children for or don't feel comfortable doing it in public, thus creating a kind of vicious circle. 4 children later and I have developed quite a thick skin about this subject. Try to ask yourself that if people feel 'icky' about something so lovely, perfect and natural, are they people you really want to know anyway?

Minesril · 09/09/2021 18:52

I was sitting in Costa the other day feeding my 17 month old, wearing a t shirt so it was a lift-top-show-everyone-my-tummy-and-a-fair-bit-of-boob affair. Lady at next table was feeding her (adorable) newborn under a muslin. You do indeed lose the inhibitions!

Runningoutofusernamestochange · 09/09/2021 18:54

I feel very strongly that you should feel able to find your child anywhere you need to, and not feel any pressure to more discreet than you and your child require.

edgeware · 09/09/2021 18:58

Feed away. No one gives a shit. Have breastfed two, often publicly. Literally no one ever cares.

MikeWozniaksGloriousTache · 09/09/2021 19:00

I have a 3 week old dd and sadly I’ve been unable to breastfeed her. I applaud any bf mum and would support full titties out in any situations they needed to feed their child.

For what it’s worth I’m having massive anxiety about formula feeding / bottle feeding pumped milk to my dc in public and sort of avoiding going out because if this. I know the vast majority of this is my internalised shame and guilt for giving up bf but I do worry people will judge me for not bf.

I think mums are judged so much whatever decision we make.

NigellaSeed · 09/09/2021 19:11

Aw @Mike that's really sad to read. I can't think of a single person who would think badly of a bottle feeding mum. Anyone that did would be extremely ignorant. Please go show off your baby and feed them with pride!

Somethingsnappy · 09/09/2021 19:14

@MikeWozniaksGloriousTache

I have a 3 week old dd and sadly I’ve been unable to breastfeed her. I applaud any bf mum and would support full titties out in any situations they needed to feed their child.

For what it’s worth I’m having massive anxiety about formula feeding / bottle feeding pumped milk to my dc in public and sort of avoiding going out because if this. I know the vast majority of this is my internalised shame and guilt for giving up bf but I do worry people will judge me for not bf.

I think mums are judged so much whatever decision we make.

Your post just really brings it all home, doesn't it? Women feel unhappy and judged whether they're FF or BF. So mothers are literally unable to simply feed their babies at all without worrying about others' reactions. How awful that we have come to this.
RidingMyBike · 09/09/2021 19:18

I BF in public with zero problems - on public transport, cafes, pubs, at church, in the library. Even in a council meeting! Only ever got positive comments but I don't think most people noticed. Sometimes someone would offer to get me water. I BF in public to a year old, then only occasionally as DD only had one or two BFs a day after nine months (BF to 3.5 years) so there was no need to do it outside the house as it was usually when she first woke up and then at bedtime.

My baby was combi-fed and I did experience negativity about formula feeding, with some nasty comments and bullying at a BFing support group.

Lazyi · 09/09/2021 19:35

I breast fed my kids until they were 3/4 in public, never had a comment

underneaththeash · 09/09/2021 19:43

As long as you're not shooting milk over everyone, or feeding a 4 year old - anything goes.

GinLimeandLemonade · 09/09/2021 20:03

My experiences were all fine. Most people don't notice or care from what I saw.

I think Mum's who breastfeed in public are great, the more the merrier!

The last time I fed my son in public was when he was 4. It was fine. He'd had a meltdown and needed comfort. Anyone with a problem regarding public breastfeeding can go fuck themselves IMO 🤷‍♀️

headintheproverbial · 09/09/2021 20:27

Literally no one cares. I only ever had positive comments from older ladies and hardly anyone ever noticed. Two kids, 3.5 years of BF'ing

The first time I went out to a cafe and breast fed I had a friend with my who was able to help me get sorted which was lovely. But after that I just did it, never used a cover and fed in all sorts of places.

Bobsyer · 09/09/2021 21:14

@crystalspiders if the only way you can comfort a 3+ year old is breastfeeding then I suggest you read up on some other ways!

I don't think I breastfed while out and about past about 8 months, there was just no need. Baby was eating proper food and I just didn't need to - I mean I would have done if he needed to.

I never ever had a negative look or comment, or if I did I didn't notice. I rarely give a shit about strangers when I'm out though.

Somethingsnappy · 09/09/2021 21:48

[quote Bobsyer]@crystalspiders if the only way you can comfort a 3+ year old is breastfeeding then I suggest you read up on some other ways!

I don't think I breastfed while out and about past about 8 months, there was just no need. Baby was eating proper food and I just didn't need to - I mean I would have done if he needed to.

I never ever had a negative look or comment, or if I did I didn't notice. I rarely give a shit about strangers when I'm out though.[/quote]
She didn't say it was the only way she could comfort her child. I'm sure she doesn't need to 'read up' on anything. You, however, may benefit from educating yourself.....

crystalspiders · 09/09/2021 22:07

[quote Bobsyer]@crystalspiders if the only way you can comfort a 3+ year old is breastfeeding then I suggest you read up on some other ways!

I don't think I breastfed while out and about past about 8 months, there was just no need. Baby was eating proper food and I just didn't need to - I mean I would have done if he needed to.

I never ever had a negative look or comment, or if I did I didn't notice. I rarely give a shit about strangers when I'm out though.[/quote]
It isn’t the only way I comfort my child, but it is his favourite form of comfort. Which is completely fair enough.

Bobsyer · 09/09/2021 22:11

@Somethingsnappy what do I need to educate myself about, exactly? I was responding to @crystalspiders who asked another poster what they would do with a child over 3 if they required comfort.

She has confirmed she does use other methods but this is her child's favourite.

Next time I'll add an emoji to the sentence with the exclamation mark so you know it's intended to be a lighthearted poke - as if it's not clear from the rest of my message that I also breastfed my own children Hmm!

Somethingsnappy · 09/09/2021 22:22

@Bobsyer. And she in turn was responding to another poster who said a 3 year old should wait until they get home to breastfeed. She asked a couple of questions in response to this, basically asking why they should have to wait. If a toddler wants comfort from BF, why should the mum have to find other ways, if she's happy to BF? There are a many different ways to comfort, including BF. Why is BF less valid than the others?

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