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Original poster

Tell me honestly, is my son really annoying?

321 replies

letsleepingbabieslie · 06/09/2021 18:15

DS(9) loves talking to adults. He'll tell people his thoughts about stuff, what he's been doing, a book he's reading, his favourite food, ... whatever. I find it precocious and embarassing when he does it with strangers, and really annoying when I want to catch up with a friend and he's chattering away to them. I imagine they must be as bored as I am and am constantly mouthing 'sorry!'.
Be honest, is this as annoying to other people as I think it is, or am I over-reacting?

OP posts:
LukeEvansWife · 06/09/2021 20:51

That was to HailAdrian

Justmuddlingalong · 06/09/2021 20:51

Some of us find some children irritating. And are discussing why, in response to the OP's thread.

GreyhoundG1rl · 06/09/2021 20:52

Which is of course completely different to holding forth and monopolising the conversation.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
CarrotTops · 06/09/2021 20:53

@MsTSwift as a child I spent a lot of time rabbiting and talking shit with my siblings. Lots of imaginative silly play etc. If you don't have siblings I guess a lot of that energy comes out on adults

It's also easy to run off and play with a sibling, or run off and talk about the adults. With your siblings your a team but without siblings your parents are your team. I don't think I would have any ill feelings towards the child in that situation

HailAdrian · 06/09/2021 20:54

@WhatsTheBFD you'll have to try harder I'm afraid, I read the OP and just knew the majority of replies would basically be 'children are annoying.' Mumsnet can be very predictable. :)

EIIa · 06/09/2021 20:55

Tell him to put a sock on it ffs

notacooldad · 06/09/2021 20:55

100% annoying.
I hated it when my friends kids did it. I made sure mine did not interrupte conversations and were shut down immediately if they butted in to conversationsand reminded about their manners.

GreyhoundG1rl · 06/09/2021 20:56

[quote HailAdrian]@WhatsTheBFD you'll have to try harder I'm afraid, I read the OP and just knew the majority of replies would basically be 'children are annoying.' Mumsnet can be very predictable. :)[/quote]
Certain behaviours are annoying is the general consensus, actually.
I wonder how you failed to grasp this? Are we reading the same thread?

MeredithGreyishblue · 06/09/2021 20:56

I wonder if I was that child. An only child who, for various reasons, was scared of other kids and more confident with adults. Until I was a teen anyway. I can imagine I was a complete irritant knowitall.

Sexnotgender · 06/09/2021 20:58

At 9 he’s absolutely old enough to understand social situations and how to behave and if he doesn’t understand you need to teach him. It’s a valuable life skill.

Beebababadabo · 06/09/2021 20:59

Seriously don't mind it for a couple of minutes upon first seeing them and even enjoy chatting for a little bit to my friends kids, but I don't like it when they outstay their welcome and keep coming back and interrupting

whynotwhatknot · 06/09/2021 21:01

No its anoying i dont min d if ive asked them about their school or what theve been up to but i dont want them butting in my conversations

HummingBeeBox · 06/09/2021 21:01

My nieces were like this. One has stopped and one still does it and I cannot bear it. She goes on for too long but his mum doesn't rescue anyone. She does it too sometimes so they don't recognise the social cues. I dread it

LukeEvansWife · 06/09/2021 21:02

If you don't have siblings I guess a lot of that energy comes out on adults

Bit of a generalisation there - I was an only child and one that knew how to behave around adults. And being an only meant that I was rather good at entertaining myself

WhatsTheBFD · 06/09/2021 21:02

[quote HailAdrian]@WhatsTheBFD you'll have to try harder I'm afraid, I read the OP and just knew the majority of replies would basically be 'children are annoying.' Mumsnet can be very predictable. :)[/quote]
You might have read it, but did you understand it?

Child or adult, if they’re constantly butting into my conversation, rattling on about shite I am not interested in, yes I’ll be annoyed.

I get more annoyed at weak ass parents who just sit there doing nothing whilst their child word vomits all over an adult, I mean cop the fuck on. Especially at strangers. It puts the other adult in the difficult position of having to listen to the child yammer on when they’d probably rather stab their own ears, and puts the child at a disadvantage because they aren’t being taught social cues.

GoWalkabout · 06/09/2021 21:06

Time for some social skills. Right kiddo if you want to hang out with the adults then you need to listen and learn more than you talk. It's polite to say hi to Jane, then ask her how she is and listen to her answer with some follow-up questions if you like. Don't talk about yourself unless Jane or I ask you something. Leave pauses in the conversation so the other person can change the subject if they are bored. Look at Jane's body language to see if you are interesting her or boring her, here are the signs. When you are with us instead of the other dc, you should be quiet for 99% of the time. If you do all that then Jane will think you are wonderful.

Sisalcarpet · 06/09/2021 21:07

It's absolutely fine for a 5 to 10 minutes or so, as long as he doesn't dominate the conversation after that (depending on the occasion).

I love to talk to a child who isn't my own as long as they are genuine and spontaneous and haven't been "coached" by adults. I was at a wedding recently when I was "spoken to" by a nine year old boy - it wasn't really a conversation - and he had obviously been told it was "cute" if he engaged adults in a discussion about tax reform (I am not kidding!) and it was obvious his dad had had a hand in it all. I felt a bit sorry for the child tbh.

But this doesn't sound like your DS op. If he is precocious, he is precocious and he should be valued and treated kindly for who he is!

bakingdemon · 06/09/2021 21:09

DH has some friends whose kids never bring anything to entertain them when they come to our house. They are a lot older than our DC so we don't have books/toys that would interest them. So they monopolise conversation and won't leave the adults to talk. It is super annoying. And then when they did disappear to play a game, I found them playing hide and seek in our bedroom, which was also super annoying. I dread them coming round now.

BroccoliFloret · 06/09/2021 21:10

Yes it is annoying.

Rather than mouthing sorry you should be telling your child that the adults are talking and to sssshhhh.

JustJustWhy · 06/09/2021 21:12

I'm picturing that kid, Sam off Coronation Street. He makes me want to throw things at the screen.

Suchalicklepumpkin · 06/09/2021 21:12

Annoying. Other people’s children bore me.

caughtinanet · 06/09/2021 21:12

[quote HailAdrian]@WhatsTheBFD you'll have to try harder I'm afraid, I read the OP and just knew the majority of replies would basically be 'children are annoying.' Mumsnet can be very predictable. :)[/quote]
Are you saying that posters are lying about finding it annoying? The vast majority of posters are telling it like it is, why would any lie?

DucksFlyTogether · 06/09/2021 21:13

At least yours has conversations. Mine aged 7 is obsessed with doom and gloom.

Once sat on a train on a table seat and a man came and sat at the table too. No problem the seat was empty.

DS proceeded to tell him all about what would happen if the train de-railed and bodies would be flying out of the train. And he hoped everyone perished quickly because it must be painful. I kept going "shush, that's enough, I don't want to hear it, please stop" the poor stranger moved seats with a pale look about him 😳

MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 06/09/2021 21:16

@GoWalkabout

Time for some social skills. Right kiddo if you want to hang out with the adults then you need to listen and learn more than you talk. It's polite to say hi to Jane, then ask her how she is and listen to her answer with some follow-up questions if you like. Don't talk about yourself unless Jane or I ask you something. Leave pauses in the conversation so the other person can change the subject if they are bored. Look at Jane's body language to see if you are interesting her or boring her, here are the signs. When you are with us instead of the other dc, you should be quiet for 99% of the time. If you do all that then Jane will think you are wonderful.
I think that's a big ask for 9, tbh. And I'm yet to meet a 9 year old who could be quiet 99% of the time!

9 year olds can't conceptualise other people's thinking well enough to hold a conversation in an adult way, or to understand what adults find interesting- which is why they are so bad at telling jokes and so good at giving you monologues about Minecraft 😉

I'd start a lot simpler:

  1. No interrupting unless it's really urgent, in which case you say, "Sorry to interrupt".

  2. Take it in turns to speak.

  3. When you're asked to leave the adults alone to talk, do so.

But I would try to put this in a positive context: you like talking to adults so (apart from rule 3) this is how to do it in a grown up way.

Snoods · 06/09/2021 21:17

He sounds like my friends DC who is autistic. Great kid, loves to tell us about absolutely everything. I really don’t mind