Page 8 | Why, just why do people this

LegendaryReady · 2021-09-04T14:42:42+00:00

Couples posting lovey lovey messages to each other on their public social media. Everything from Happy Birthday to my wonderful wife to OMG thank you so much amazing DH for the really expensive xyz. Presumably as they have such amazing relationships and they live in the same house they can say these things easily face to face. Is it to run others' who may not be so fortunate noses in it? Do their partners need this public validation? Do they not actually talk to each other?

Shona52 · 05/09/2021 18:43

No she was the Karen. I would have done the same thing in your situation. Don't not feel stupid

Shona52 · 05/09/2021 18:45

Sometimes couple are parted my husband is often away from home for months at a time and we can only txt or use social media to communicate. But I know this isn't the case tor everyone.

Aggy35 · 05/09/2021 18:46

Now I will get a backlash for this probably but for me the worst are the posts addressed to people /family members who have passed addressing them directly.Erm do they have a Facebook?
I just hate how much people seem to need everybody's validation.Mothers posting addressing their young children,couple to each other etc.

Pinky1952 · 05/09/2021 18:47

I'm with the OP. I have a B and SIL who have 2 daughters. One has 2 children and post pics of them nearly every day. Then B and SIL are posting my beautiful gc and it goes on with gorgeous, cute. Now they've just got a puppy and put a pic of child with puppy and SIL puts my beautiful gd and granddog. WHAT??? Then there is the other daughter which is a bit sad because she had to have a termination because the baby wasn't developed properly. After the birth she put a pic of the baby's hands to let people know. People offered there thoughts etc. Now it's a case of one week since the birth, one month since the birth. Angel in heaven. It's endless. I'm sorry for them but it is such a private thing. Then there's the people who insist on posting everything they do. Going shopping and lunch with friend with a pic of their lunch. Do people really think it interesting to know what others do in their day or is it just me.

DismantledKing · 05/09/2021 18:49

@Thislittlefinger123

In my experience OP, it's usually the case that the more gushing a couple do on SM, the shitter their relationship behind closed doors

Yes. Agreed.

AnnieSnap · 05/09/2021 18:51

@loopylindi

No, you're right. The constant need to validate any emotion using social media is puke making. If someone has something outstanding (proposal, baby news etc) then fine. But really! Sending a photo of a restaurant meal - who cares a flying f.... Can I eat it? No! Can I smell it? No. Can you make it? Not a chance! Then piss off and eat it. And as for the conversations that conclude with ....well I'll see you in a minute....Can't these bird brains keep a thought in their head for more than the time it takes to dial and talk?

☝️ And I completely agree about the gushing “I love you. You are the best husband/wife in the world . . . .” It strikes me as immature and attention seeking.

Before the defenders of this, jump on me, yes, Facebook is for me. Most of my FB friends don’t do this silly thing! I culled those who do. Just have the personal conversation to each other 🙄 My DH and I are very lovey dovey but we see no reason to dribble it all over social media!

AudreyTattoo · 05/09/2021 18:51

I think it's something which has happened because of social media, rather than something which would happen face to face normally. This just wouldn't happen face to face and certainly not to the numbers of people you reach when you post on social media. Whether you like it or not is up to you, but I'm not sure why that makes anyone a Karen...? Aren't Karens meant to be racists? Or is it just code now for women who I don't agree with?

me4real · 05/09/2021 18:52

I think it's nice. Public declarations of how important their partner is to them etc. Better than the opposite.

LaurenKelsey · 05/09/2021 18:53

I’m way too private and too much of an introvert to do Facebook. I just can’t imagine wanting (or needing?) that kind of attention. It all seems so contrived, an effort to create a perfect life on display.

AudreyTattoo · 05/09/2021 18:53

Also agree that it is only a small number of people who do this and it can be irksome when that small number take up a lot of your feed. So they do end up being defriended or muted a lot I imagine.

me4real · 05/09/2021 18:53

@AudreyTattoo A Karen is any woman with an opinion. Heaven forfend.

AudreyTattoo · 05/09/2021 18:54

[quote me4real]@AudreyTattoo A Karen is any woman with an opinion. Heaven forfend.[/quote]
Thank you for clarifying this

Pinkchocolate · 05/09/2021 18:55

@Thislittlefinger123

In my experience OP, it's usually the case that the more gushing a couple do on SM, the shitter their relationship behind closed doors

This in bucketloads! I rarely post about my husband (who is pretty amazing in case anyone cares) but every couple I know who post declarations of love every month are bloody miserable, cheating/abusive/controlling miserable. I just scroll past them.

DrGoogleSaysSo · 05/09/2021 18:55

Each to their own. That wouldn't be my kind of thing but if other people's posts annoyed me, I would remove myself from SM.

bloodywhitecat · 05/09/2021 18:56

No daily postings of how wonderful he is here but I do sometimes celebrate the fact that he is still here and driving me mad after being given a diagnosis of six months to live last Nov. I didn't expect to see another Christmas with him so if we get that far then I probably will go a bit OTT and heaven help us if we make it to our first wedding anniversary in May 2022...

Nocutenamesleft · 05/09/2021 18:56

@loopylindi

No, you're right. The constant need to validate any emotion using social media is puke making. If someone has something outstanding (proposal, baby news etc) then fine. But really! Sending a photo of a restaurant meal - who cares a flying f.... Can I eat it? No! Can I smell it? No. Can you make it? Not a chance! Then piss off and eat it. And as for the conversations that conclude with ....well I'll see you in a minute....Can't these bird brains keep a thought in their head for more than the time it takes to dial and talk?

Ha. This succinctly puts into words my exact feelings. 😂😂

AnnieSnap · 05/09/2021 18:58

@toolazytothinkofausername

YABU. Give up the addiction and leave Facebook. All social media for that matter. It isn't social, it is a place to edit your life for validation.

I use FB mainly to keep up with special interest groups (photography, gardening, travel) and it’s an easy way of keeping up with (non-attention seeking) friends who don’t live nearby.

Many do use it for validation though, I agree.

LoisLane66 · 05/09/2021 19:03

IMO, there is no sensible rationale behind those messages. A huge ( I was going to say 'most') number of individuals see fit to put the minutes of their lives on social media. Getting clicks, likes or subscribers validates their existence, otherwise how would we be aware of their spots, latest tatt/butt lift/fat distribution, menstrual cycle, clothes haul, sex partner's bs&c wax etc. with the added delight of 67 selfies + a couple of the dog if it's a 'fur baby'
Ask any question and they're oh so eager to reply. Show and tell ain't even close.
It's a wonder they can see past their mouth half the time. They're like inflated rubber rings.
I was watching MAFSUK last night...🙄😂 It was all there. Needy and seedy.
To summarise, it's to let the world know how marvellous they are and a daily diary all in one.
Some idiots even text each other from the next room.
As Shakespeare wrote 'All the world's a stage'.

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 05/09/2021 19:03

Reminds me of the poor American lady who was murdered by her husband together with her beautiful kids. On Facebook she was always gushing about her love for him etc, no one knew she was in trouble or needed help. Very sad for those around her to feel helpless as they thought she was in a happy relationship. Only her best friend knew she wasn't happy but you can't really tell a grown person not to post certain things on their fb. I know a couple who divorced 'out of the blue' if you believed her fb posts, but she was in denial and made out they were the happiest couple. Take social media posts with a giant pinch of salt.

Wiredforsound · 05/09/2021 19:03

You have every right to complain how other people use their own social media accounts and they have every right to not give a shit what you think. I don’t do it myself, I scroll past them most of the time in the same way I scroll past the god botherers of various faiths, the runners who post a Strava route or yet another race photo, and the first days at school, etc. etc… but good for them - they have every right to post whatever they want.

AudreyTattoo · 05/09/2021 19:05

I came off social media (other than Mumsnet), but you do miss out on a few things by doing that. I love IG but hate people I know finding me on there 🤣. Is there an anti-social media?

On balance, it's better for me not to be on it than to be on it, but I can definitely see why people choose to stay and just heavily curate their content if they don't like certain things.

I don't think op is saying there must be a ban on lovey posts, but she's wondering why people feel the need to make public declarations over and over again. Which I definitely get. When people get married that's probably the old school equivalent and it was pretty public. But it was usually just once or twice. So it is a 'new' ish thing which I think people do for the performance aspect of social media. Not a hanging offence, obviously, but I can see why it's a bit annoying.

Wiredforsound · 05/09/2021 19:05

By the way, the more dog and cat pics the better. Much better than the anti-vaxxers.

Carriecakes80 · 05/09/2021 19:07

I'm one of the only people in my family with a really happy marriage...I see misery, hear about fighting, get to listen to the awful lives some folk have, have been in the middle of one of the nastiest divorces ever from my own parents where both wanted to commit suicide, and I feel bloody lucky to be able to post gushy soppy lovely messages to my other half.
He's awesome, really amazing, and I spent many a long year being a single parent until a chance meeting, and now 16 years together he still makes me feel the happiest I have ever been... he took on my kids, and we have our own, and he still wakes me up with a coffee and breakfast before he goes to work, and I love the fact my kids see the soppy posts we put to one another on fb, because I want exactly the same for them one day.
They see us kiss all the time, and they see what we do for one another, and they know our little fb posts are just us being dappy n soppy and happy...if you don't like it, don't read it lol. Scroll on!!
Its not to rub peoples noses in it, its called being a bit loved up and the kind of person who likes to show it I guess! :-) x

OmgIcantbelieveshedidit · 05/09/2021 19:07

I know two couple that do this on FB.

With one he was a pastor and had a long affair with the church congregation. When his daughter discovered it. He was suspended and his wife became pastor. The member of the congregation (who was vulnerable just out of an abusive marriage and had seen him for help) was asked to find another church by the wife. They then returned to the Midlands brought a house and set up a 'new church' -the posts are daily from him to her -To my lovely fantastic wife -never an hour goes by when I haven't thought about blessed I am -30 years now of feeling this way. He didn't feel that way about her when he was shagging a vulnerable woman in his church office. I liked both of them, but ended up deleting both as their posts were just so as above.

The second couple. She is a forceful woman, good looking and he isn't. His posts are constantly swooning over her. I know for a fact -he had fitted a tracker on her phone and car. They nearly got divorced over it. Yet, 5 years later here they are..........I again deleted both. Similar posts about their 'wonderful' kind and caring children -despite the fact the one of them when about 10 squeezed and murdered the guinea pig. See above. Delete them all............

Or at least snooze them

Nocutenamesleft · 05/09/2021 19:07

@toolazytothinkofausername

YABU. Give up the addiction and leave Facebook. All social media for that matter. It isn't social, it is a place to edit your life for validation.

Amen!