Why, just why do people this

[LegendaryReady]

Couples posting lovey lovey messages to each other on their public social media.

Everything from Happy Birthday to my wonderful wife to OMG thank you so much amazing DH for the really expensive xyz.

Presumably as they have such amazing relationships and they live in the same house they can say these things easily face to face.

Is it to run others' who may not be so fortunate noses in it? Do their partners need this public validation? Do they not actually talk to each other?

I know what you mean. I wouldn't do it but then I cannot stand FB. It's not my sort of thing at all. I'd rather interact with strangers on a forum anonymously, in the vague hope they're interested in what I've got to say

They may as well post videos of them snogging! Nobody wants to see that either.

The more gushing, the worst the relationship is.

I do enjoy food photos. Especially dishes from my home country

Yes I know a man who is literally trying to stage every woman that walks but the FB 🙄 and another whose family pay tribute to him and he is a serial adulterer.

@Malteser71

Not as bad as people posting messages to dead people.

They arent on Facebook.

“Happy heavenly birthday to my grandad, 98 today”

Grandad: Realises it’s his birthday and checks his smartphone in heaven to see if he’s got any Facebook notifications.

My DH and I have each other’s FB logins, I’ve told him that if anyone does this after I’ve died, he’s to log in as me and comment on their post to thank them for the birthday message.

Yep, I find it pretty weird too. Mind you they would probably find decidedly odd my desire for privacy and suspicion of sharing information on SM. FB does my head in with the performance relationshiping, so I assume it’s a horses for courses thing and just smile, wave and move on.

@LegendaryReady I'm with you on this. Its annoys me so much that people constantly have to tell others have wonderful they/family are.

How did people cope before FB??

@lannistunut

I know I am an old, miserable cynic but I am also pretty at these gushing posts.

I am happy for people when they post nice news but I can't help but cringe at the thought of posting publicly about being blessed etc. I am very loving in private but not in writing on public SM!

I am not on FB for this reason, I just don't fit in there .

#metoo

I’ve an acquaintance who regularly posts pictures of her deceased dogs and about how she misses her dead pets. Almost every week there seems to be an anniversary type photo and lots of crying emoji’s.
She’s got a husband and young children but it’s all about the dead dogz.

I do find this quite unnecessary. One friend of mine always says Happy Birthday and Happy Anniversary to his wife in Facebook even though she isn't on Facebook. I also know people that put messages to their young kids on Facebook.... It can only be attention seeking/virtue signalling.

God there's some miserable people about.

When my Mum died DH did practically everything for me as I was in no state to do it, including clearing her house. I publicly thanked him on Facebook and said how lucky I was. I also wish him happy birthday on FB and if anyone doesn't like it they can unfriend me, I really wouldn't care.

I do find performative coupley-ness a little cringey, but mostly I see it as one of those minor irritations on Facebook.

And honestly at the moment if I see a post being all lovey-dovey, I’m more likely to think- yeah it’s nice to have someone to post hearts to and all that but I’m much happier being single and not having the endless debates about housework.

By the same token, why have a wedding? Why have speeches or congratulations. I don’t do it personally but I love to see people posting how grateful they are to have their significant other and how proud they are. A public declaration of gratitude and love doesn’t seem to me to be a bad thing and is much preferable to people tearing strips off each other on social media.
It seems to have hit a nerve for you and I’m sorry about that but perhaps it is good to ask why you are having that reaction?

I don’t get it either sitting in the same room turn to them wish them a happy birthday . It’s for likes and attention .

But weddings are personal and physical.
The couple invite us into a hugely important day. And we literally take part.
A friend of DH is marrying soon. He and his partner have found each other after both losing their partners to cancer.
It feels utterly worth celebrating in person. And I shall sob and laugh and dance the entire day away.
The antithesis of those posts where couples declare their love on a random Tuesday to a load of folk they never see (and certainly didn’t invite to their wedding).

@Kite22 yes but most of these people are still good people and actually good friends of mine. Their need for validation on sm is not a deal breaker for me. In fact I feel sorry for my friend. She desperately wants to be liked by everyone, she’s a lovely person she portrays her life as better than it is because that’s what makes her feel good. It’s just not for me.

My cousin's wife did this a LOT. "Look what my wonderful husband bought me". " I love my wonderful husband so much" They lasted about 18 months.

@LegendaryReady

For example, the one that's triggered me today is a man who's won an award at work. He posted about it, lovely I'm pleased for him and have said so. But there's also a long post from his wife about how blessed she is to have such a perfect in every way husband. Speaking directly to him and presumably typed whilst they were together in the same house.

This is why I don’t use facebook. I find it incredibly annoying.

I wouldn't stress about it.

It's all bullshit and if you take a step back from SM you realise just how weird it all is! I left years ago but DH still has it. I occasionally have a nose and it's absolutely bonkers, I read the things that people put on there and the photos etc and it's bizarre.

I have so many friends that do this, or they start a chat on a thread when they are in the same house! Just talk to each other no need to have a discussion on Fb! i had one friend who posted none stop about amazing DH best holiday they had ever had how fabulous he was then the week after they got home she announces he has been cheating, having an affair for years etc.

I agree with you OP. But what I find more annoying are those who post things like " Its been x years since you left us grandma/grandad/mum/dad , I miss you so much" or similar. It leaves me wondering if people can still access fb once they have passed on or if fb is actually a medium and not a media platform.

DH and I post on our birthdays and wedding anniversary. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me and so a couple of times a year, I put on a post telling him, and indeed our friends and family, how much he means to me. If my friends don’t like it they can scroll on by. After years of shit relationships, yes I’m happy that I have a wonderfully husband who makes me very happy. I presume you aren’t happy and that’s why these posts trigger you. I suggest you mute those who post romantic messages, I have muted people who post endless photos of their kids as they bore the shit out of me 🤷🏻‍♀️

I have a friend from school who got married last year end of December. Since then she posts nearly every day about her wedding. It could be about her outfits, bridesmaids, you name it any relevance to her wedding she will post about it. It’s not so bad now, perhaps once a week ahah.

I don’t get the need of wishing people happy birthday on people’s insta story…just message them directly!

It’s all about showing off these days.

@Thislittlefinger123

In my experience OP, it's usually the case that the more gushing a couple do on SM, the shitter their relationship behind closed doors

That's the feeling I get when I see the gushing posts.