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Original poster

Why, just why do people this

282 replies

LegendaryReady · 04/09/2021 15:42

Couples posting lovey lovey messages to each other on their public social media.

Everything from Happy Birthday to my wonderful wife to OMG thank you so much amazing DH for the really expensive xyz.

Presumably as they have such amazing relationships and they live in the same house they can say these things easily face to face.

Is it to run others' who may not be so fortunate noses in it? Do their partners need this public validation? Do they not actually talk to each other?

OP posts:
CallmeHendricks · 04/09/2021 21:10

I'm with you, OP.
Just today, someone I know has posted a picture of the flowers her DP gave her, with a gushing thank you (plus a whole load of other drivel I don't need to know). They are both in the picture, so I presume she had the opportunity to tell him of her gratitude and love at the time.
So, what is the motivation behind such posts? It has to be showing off.

MyPatronusIsACat · 04/09/2021 21:11

@LegendaryReady

To be clear I like a once annual "isn't it great we've been married xx years" with some cheesy photos of a 1980s wedding.

What I don't like is almost daily postings of conversations between husband and wife telling each other how great they are.

Well yeah THAT is annoying. And often signifies a couple desperate to prove how much they wubz each other. In reality, the relationship is often on the rocks. The more I see people gushing over one another, the more I think 'hmm, THEY are having problems...'

lifehappened · 04/09/2021 21:13

My brother does it, I find it weird but I know he means it and just wants to share his happiness. I can't get annoyed about it tho, everyone's different

AudreyTattoo · 04/09/2021 21:14

YANBU. It's a teensy bit weird to me too. I love love! Love seeing happy couples out and about, love it when my friends find love (if that's what they want).

But I would never post one of these things. In fact, not one of my good friends or family that I ca think of ever posts these things*. Not a single one! It's only ever random parents from nursery etc I see posting these and it is a wee bit ott to me.

Maybe this is a thing in certain circles and not in others though...? So, to me it is weird. But, to others it might be a bit weird and heartless NOT to post these things.

*Oh, tell a lie, my exsil started doing this just before it came out that she and bill's marriage was going very badly and they were divorced shortly after.

lockdownmadnessdotcom · 04/09/2021 21:15

@SalsaLove

I assume it’s to share their happiness with their friends and family. Why is your first thought so negative? Do you rub people’s noses in things?
Or lie about their marriage to make it look like it's a solid one.

When people used to say people lied on Facebook I naively thought it was all rubbish, after all, you can't really fake a picture of your #famalam and friends and say how #blessed you are to have a meal out together. Presumably at least one of them would come back and say "but we've not seen you for a decade".

But a friend's husband used to post lovely things about her on FB and then they got divorced. That was when I realised what people meant.

MyPatronusIsACat · 04/09/2021 21:17

Oh cross post! I see a few people have already said that about 'gushing couples.' Grin

LimeRedBanana · 04/09/2021 21:20

Oh, you will get most people on here rushing to defend it, but of course YANBU.

It is beyond cringe. Luckily I’m not subjected to it, because my friends conduct their relationships like normal people, that is between the people involved: each other.

I judge people who do this, and judge them harshly. It comes across as so needy and desperate for validation.

And when you talk about it, say, on here - people get awfully defensive. They want to be able to post whatever they want on their social media (nobody’s stopping you), but they definitely do not want you to have your own, individual thoughts about their SM content. Grin So funny.

MrsLighthouse · 04/09/2021 21:22

It’s nice …l like to see that my friends are happy. What’s the problem with posting a public appreciation of another person ? It’s a bit mean spirited to be cynical….life is hard enough ! More love please ❤️

Disneyblue · 04/09/2021 21:23

Each to their own

Lightisnotwhite · 04/09/2021 21:28

@LegendaryReady

For example, the one that's triggered me today is a man who's won an award at work. He posted about it, lovely I'm pleased for him and have said so. But there's also a long post from his wife about how blessed she is to have such a perfect in every way husband. Speaking directly to him and presumably typed whilst they were together in the same house.
Ha! That’s hysterical. I can imagine him coming in and asking what she has written whilst he was upstairs having a long poo. Maybe undying love only counts if it’s written down? Rest if the time they are just chatting mundane stuff to each other lije the rest of us.
Staryflight445 · 04/09/2021 21:29

‘ Sending a photo of a restaurant meal - who cares a flying f.... Can I eat it? No! Can I smell it? No. Can you make it? Not a chance! Then piss off and eat it. ’

It’s lovely to see a nice meal out, especially when they tag the place and you haven’t tried it out yet.
Some of you just love to moan about something.

The only things that are annoying on social media are trolls, constant bragging and people checking themselves into the hospital for attention.

pascheretloire · 04/09/2021 23:14

I had someone mention that I hadn't wished my husband happy birthday on Facebook - er, no, because I'd already done so the moment I woke up! Come to think of it he didn't post greetings on my birthday, but he did in real life, so that's all that matters.
I find performative social media irritating in the extreme, and mute anyone who does it regularly. One acquaintance was all about wonderful husband, how perfect he was, how happy they were. He'd been fucking one of her friends for nearly two years.

PathOfLeastResitance · 04/09/2021 23:17

I can only assume that they do it because they are standard entry, run of the mill, attention seeking knobbers.

drizzleabit · 04/09/2021 23:18

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TellySavalashairbrush · 04/09/2021 23:20

A relative of mine and her dh regularly post this kind of stuff on FB. However, she recently admitted to me their marriage is not in a good place and hasn’t been for a long while- don’t believe everything you read.

VenusTiger · 05/09/2021 00:54

@maddiemookins16mum

There’s a reason it should be renamed ‘Fakebook’.
It's definitely FuckBook - during Brexit it was bad enough with the 'this information has not been verified' bollocks - but now Covid had fucked every single scientific debate up. We know why of course, Zuckerberg whatever his name is can't lose points on his ESG score now can he - the removal and censorship of virologists and drs is fucking scary! Glad I left FB shithole yrs ago.
TheCanyon · 05/09/2021 01:13

My dh Is like this, it's like a show off 'I love my wife' nonsense. Fucking HATE it.

Explosivefarts · 05/09/2021 02:23

@TellySavalashairbrush

A relative of mine and her dh regularly post this kind of stuff on FB. However, she recently admitted to me their marriage is not in a good place and hasn’t been for a long while- don’t believe everything you read.
We went on holiday with a couple like this. Always posting gushing comments on Facebook. According to their Facebook posts on holiday they were having the time of their life. In reality all theydid was bicker and argue . He actually leached on to another family and sat with them for a fortnight . So those posts were life is perfect aren’t for their partners but to mask the actual reality.
Susannahmoody · 05/09/2021 02:26

It's so obnoxious

Nearly as bad as bragging about their offspring

NCBlossom · 05/09/2021 02:30

Having been divorced and left with the kids whilst Ex married someone 21 years younger… I have to say I do get irate with perfect couples on SM!

Luckily I don’t know many who do that, and those who do… well I reckon at least one is cheating and others are basically bored out of their minds. All the happiest couples aren’t even on SM imho (but I am… because I’m bored and unmarried!)

DarlingFell · 05/09/2021 07:31

@NCBlossom

Having been divorced and left with the kids whilst Ex married someone 21 years younger… I have to say I do get irate with perfect couples on SM!

Luckily I don’t know many who do that, and those who do… well I reckon at least one is cheating and others are basically bored out of their minds. All the happiest couples aren’t even on SM imho (but I am… because I’m bored and unmarried!)

All the happiest couples aren’t even on SM

Hate to disprove your theory, but my DH and I are on SM (although not v prolifically) and we have the most solid marriage of anyone I know. We are very happy and very much in love 🤷🏻‍♀️

LimeRedBanana · 05/09/2021 08:03

If you’re not on SM very prolifically, then you’re not who NCBlossom is talking about…?

NCBlossom · 05/09/2021 11:40

Ha ha @DarlingFell you are probably right to an extent - I do think there is an element of jealousy on my part!

However there is also an element of - can you be a bit kind and not ram it publicly down everyone’s throats how happy you are as a couple. It’s just luck really that you found happiness and I didn’t. If you were single - then how much of a barrier do you think it might be if your friend posted all the time about how happy she was with her husband? It would make you feel outside…

Not talking about the odd lovely post. More of the consistent ‘look at us - smug marrieds… ‘

AgileSlug · 05/09/2021 11:42

I saw a good one the other day: "Dave, stop pretending you can't hear me and turn the oven off!"

Grin
Kite22 · 05/09/2021 16:46

All the happiest couples aren’t even on SM

What a daft generalisation.