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Original poster

Gobsmacked and shocked by DH

168 replies

Serena1977 · 01/09/2021 18:11

Picked up dh this morning from hospital. He's been in for 8 days (not covid). He had an emergency operation in which in had a cardiac arrest.

I have been so scared and was so relieved to have him home. DC 9 and 8 have been beside themselves too.

Just checked on him, he's in bed after his parents called to see him at lunch.

Went into his bedside table to change his toothbrush for his electric toothbrush and there was a handkerchief. I panicked because i thought he had been sick and was hiding it so I didn't panic. He admitted he had had a wank, he said to relax and get to sleep.

I'm still scared because of what happened and how poorly he was and now a bit angry and emotional.

I have been to hell and back too, keeping things going looking after dc, dealing with pils etc and tomorrow I start teacher training which i'm not in the right frame of mind for since he's been so poorly.

Am i over reacting?

OP posts:
Moon22 · 01/09/2021 19:42

I think you're being a bit silly- perhaps over emotional after such an ordeal. Just focus on how lucky he is to be home and alive and able for a wank! You could be arranging his funeral after all rather than cleaning up his wank tissues! Everyone does it. Even you I reckon!

spongedog · 01/09/2021 19:43

@butterpuffed

The vipers are out in force tonight , having a go at OP who's had a scary week along with her children.

I guess she's worried about it could be affecting his medical condition as he's had a heart attack and an emergency operation and is just over reacting . Lay off her.

^^ this. What an unpleasant site this has become. All the virtue signalling - hubby fine to wank when ever, his body, you're controlling.etc.

He's been in hospital for 8 days - who has done all of the heavy lifting at home with the DC (quite young), home etc?

Plus starting a new job - always stressful.

Yet "D"H - able to be in bed wanking. Surely most normal people would be concerned about the impact on the heart (because he had a heart attack)?

Op - He sounds better. Able to do child care,cooking and cleaning. I really your new job goes well. Our SCITTS were in today - nervous but really looking forward to new term. Please concentrate on you and your new career. I just wonder if in years to come you might need that job and career more than you might think now.

Rosscameasdoody · 01/09/2021 19:44

What’s the problem ? If this relaxes him after the trauma he’s been through why would you be ‘angry and emotional’ if it reduces his stress. I think the most you have to be miffed about is the fact that he left the tissue on the bedside table !! Grow up.

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Rosscameasdoody · 01/09/2021 19:47

Yet "D"H - able to be in bed wanking. Surely most normal people would be concerned about the impact on the heart (because he had a heart attack)?

Cardiac arrest is not a heart attack, it’s the sudden stopping of heartbeat. Two different things.

CambsAlways · 01/09/2021 19:47

I can’t for life of me understand why you are annoyed

LookAtMoiPloise · 01/09/2021 19:50

@EishetChayil

Oh let him have his tommy-tank, for heaven's sake!
🤣🤣
Pebbledashery · 01/09/2021 19:51

I couldn't get upset over this. I'd be more upset if he wasn't able to knock one out.. Least he's tested the ropes. I wouldn't begrudge him one cheeky Tommy tank. Give him a break. It's not like he's asked a nurse to come over and do it for him

Thatsplentyjack · 01/09/2021 19:53

You panicked because you thought he had been sick and he was hiding it, but you didn't panic? Confused.

Why would he hide being sick?
Why would anyone hide a sick filled hankie in a drawer if they were trying to hide it?

nocoolnamesleft · 01/09/2021 19:53

You're not a dickhead. You've just been stressed out of your skull. A dickhead wouldn't have accepted that they were overreacting. Your DH isn't the only one who needs a little TLC.

Shallwegoforawalk · 01/09/2021 19:55

@HosannainExcelSheets

From a medical perspective, orgasms put a lot of strain on your heart. Your blood pressure shoots up, so does your heart rate. I can see why you were worried. The doctors should/would have warned him in hospital if sex and orgasms were best avoided though.

Yes I was thinking that must be what OP meant, she was worried it would be too much for his heart. If she had said this clearly in her OP, some of the replies may have been kinder.

KaptanKatanga · 01/09/2021 19:57

🤣🤣🤣

NeedToKnow101 · 01/09/2021 20:02

@Travielkapelka

Struggling to see the issue unless he did it in front of his mum and dad, in which case then yes, I see your point
😂😂😂
Original poster
Serena1977 · 01/09/2021 20:04

I was worried that he was hiding something so as not to panic me like vomit, gunk etc because he had a throat operation and tracheostomy fitted.

He didn't have an heart attack, he had a cardiac arrest due to the lack of oxygen in him. This occurred whilst the tracheostomy was being fitted which was trickier than normal due to the size of the abscess in his airway.

I shouldn't have said I was angry. I was worried, shocked, highly strung, tired, overwrought etc

Please don't use laughing emojis. I don't know whether I'm coming or going.

OP posts:
Twilight7777 · 01/09/2021 20:04

@LookToTreblesGoingTreblesGone

I assume the OP is more worried about the effect an orgasm has on the heart after a heart attack. My father was told to abstain for several months after his heart attack.
This is what I thought the OP would be concerned about. I have a heart condition and when it was at its worst, (Shortly before an operation that made my life much better) I was told no sex, no masturbation, no stress of any kind until at least 2 weeks after the operation.
Bonnieonthelam · 01/09/2021 20:08

I think you should be grateful he is alive. And able to satisfy himself. He must have had such a shit time. He’s only human. I’d only be slightly miffed at the dirty tissue.

CorianderBee · 01/09/2021 20:09

Couldn't get wound up. Sometimes when you feel like shit it can make you feel briefly better!

IloveStrawberrylaces · 01/09/2021 20:14

Talk about click bait

HerRoyalRisesAgain · 01/09/2021 20:16

I don't know whether I'm coming or going you can't type that and not expect some jokes...

Maskless · 01/09/2021 20:17

Get your revenge by having one yourself. Make him watch.

ImpassiveVoice · 01/09/2021 20:18

@Serena1977

I was worried that he was hiding something so as not to panic me like vomit, gunk etc because he had a throat operation and tracheostomy fitted.

He didn't have an heart attack, he had a cardiac arrest due to the lack of oxygen in him. This occurred whilst the tracheostomy was being fitted which was trickier than normal due to the size of the abscess in his airway.

I shouldn't have said I was angry. I was worried, shocked, highly strung, tired, overwrought etc

Please don't use laughing emojis. I don't know whether I'm coming or going.

I read somewhere that anger is often the tip of an emotional iceberg - the anger is on the surface, but underneath are all the things you've said here - worry, shock, tiredness, feeling highly strung and overwrought.

Your reaction is natural - I hope you can look back on this and smile about it soon

cansu · 01/09/2021 20:21

What is the issue? Does he need permission from you?
I honestly can see no connection between him having a wank and you being worried about him following his surgery / heart attack.

BrendaBubbles · 01/09/2021 20:22

He will have surely picked up the odd dirty gusset when doing the laundry.. these are the sorts of things adults deal with without making it a big deal usually

FoxesAtDawn · 01/09/2021 20:24

I'm not wondering how many women discreetly masturbate on a hospital ward.

I mean good for him if he felt up to it, but it hardly feels like the place where it comes naturally.

Sadiecow · 01/09/2021 20:39

@FoxesAtDawn

I'm not wondering how many women discreetly masturbate on a hospital ward.

I mean good for him if he felt up to it, but it hardly feels like the place where it comes naturally.

He was in his own bed in his own home!
whatfreshheck · 01/09/2021 20:44

I think you are over reacting but I totally get why. You have both been through the ringer lately. Hopefully you get some down time soon x