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Original poster

Gobsmacked and shocked by DH

168 replies

Serena1977 · 01/09/2021 18:11

Picked up dh this morning from hospital. He's been in for 8 days (not covid). He had an emergency operation in which in had a cardiac arrest.

I have been so scared and was so relieved to have him home. DC 9 and 8 have been beside themselves too.

Just checked on him, he's in bed after his parents called to see him at lunch.

Went into his bedside table to change his toothbrush for his electric toothbrush and there was a handkerchief. I panicked because i thought he had been sick and was hiding it so I didn't panic. He admitted he had had a wank, he said to relax and get to sleep.

I'm still scared because of what happened and how poorly he was and now a bit angry and emotional.

I have been to hell and back too, keeping things going looking after dc, dealing with pils etc and tomorrow I start teacher training which i'm not in the right frame of mind for since he's been so poorly.

Am i over reacting?

OP posts:

lunar1 · 01/09/2021 18:38

I couldn't imagine being in a relationship with someone who was so controlling over masturbating. It probably helped him completely relax after a bloody scary time in his life and helped him fall straight to sleep.

WhateverHappenedToFayWray · 01/09/2021 18:38

Sorry but what exactly is the problem? Your husband can't even have a wank?

Veryverycalmnow · 01/09/2021 18:39

Sounds like you've been through an extremely stressful time. At least it's a sign he's feeling better... try not to let that be your focus- sounds like everything else is getting on top of you. Can you fit in something just for you to make you feel better? Meditation, a bath or a walk?

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RosiePosieDozy · 01/09/2021 18:40

What are you angry about? That you thought he was very ill and he's enjoying himself by maaturbating?

Give him a break. He's been through something horrendous and is probably trying to give himself some enjoyment and relax.

lyntheyresexpeople · 01/09/2021 18:41

Masturbation is actually really helpful to relax and ease stress, and helps with sleep. Common when feeling poorly as it actually does help, it releases endorphins which are a natural painkiller.
There is no issue here. Please let this go.

Sadiecow · 01/09/2021 18:41

He was making sure it was all still in good working order, after his ordeal.

At least he could sleep happy it was.

You are over reacting.

The fact you have had to look after everything is because he was in hospital etc. Nothing to do with him having a wank.

nocoolnamesleft · 01/09/2021 18:42

He's probably relieved it still works.

Suprima · 01/09/2021 18:42

I have sympathy for you OP- I think you’re getting a bit of a tough time. You aren’t being controlling at all, you aren’t ‘controlling’ anything- it’s just a bit of a context shift to deal with and I can see why you are shocked.

You’ve had a lot on your plate, have had to deal with tearful children, starting a new role, obviously worrying to death about him whilst caring for him- but now he’s well enough to wank himself off (a relief he is alive to do it, but that’s another point).

I would calm, chuck any gobsmackedness into the fuck-it-bucket and move on- but I would probably take this as a sign that you need to dial down the Florence Nightingale business as he clearly can do some things for himself…

Hugoslavia · 01/09/2021 18:44

Is he became he used a disposable tissue instead of a handcrafted reusable rag? Or because you are worried that his heart isn't up to it? Or should he simply be as stressed out as you are because of what you have been through? Perhaps you would benefit from a little relaxation yourself.

ChargingBuck · 01/09/2021 18:45

Bloody hell.

Why are you micromanaging what your DH does with his own body?
What's it to you?

Do you think you own him, & he needs your permission to toss himself off? If the sexes were reversed here, you'd come over as a creepy controller.

Oh, belay that! - leave the sexes as they are. You are still a creepy controller. Leave your husband alone, your prurience about his private moment is disgusting.

LookToTreblesGoingTreblesGone · 01/09/2021 18:45

I assume the OP is more worried about the effect an orgasm has on the heart after a heart attack. My father was told to abstain for several months after his heart attack.

Hugoslavia · 01/09/2021 18:46

On another note, consider yourself lucky that he was well enough to do it by himself and didn't ring his little bell and get you to do it for him.

YouJustDoYou · 01/09/2021 18:46

I honestly.find it vile when they leave a used wank hanky or whatever lying around. Men are utterly disgusting creatures sometimes 🤮🤮🤮

Rainbowsew · 01/09/2021 18:50

Yes very much so!

ChargingBuck · 01/09/2021 18:50

@Franklyfrost

Yes you’re over reacting. He can’t wank because you’re starting teacher training next week? Give him a break, he’s just got back from hospital. When he’s feeling better then tell him how hard it was for you to cope and ask for some recover time yourself. In the meanwhile do what your partner’s doing and relax the best you can.

Well now you put it like that I can see OP's point, Frankly.

I start a new contract on October.
Would the Sisterhood kindly stand by me, & refrain from masturbation throughout September, to help me cope?

TIA

Aquamarine1029 · 01/09/2021 18:50

You are so far out of line it's incredible. I would think you'd be happy he's recovering enough to want a bit of natural and normal release.

SukonthaM · 01/09/2021 18:51

@LookToTreblesGoingTreblesGone

I assume the OP is more worried about the effect an orgasm has on the heart after a heart attack. My father was told to abstain for several months after his heart attack.

I’m sure if he was at risk of dropping dead over a wank the doctor would have told him 🙄

chocolateorangeinhaler · 01/09/2021 18:52

Bloody hell. Yes you are.

SukonthaM · 01/09/2021 18:53

I think it says a lot that the op’s first actual thought was that he’d vomited and tried to hide it from her, like that’s normal? So he’s not only not allowed to have a wank, but he has to hide his vomit in handkerchiefs from her?

Susannahmoody · 01/09/2021 18:54

DH had Covid and pneumonia and was apparently dying in bed but I still manage to walk in on him having a wank. Meh

QueenAstrid · 01/09/2021 18:56

😂

Faevern · 01/09/2021 18:57

Well I may well be pissed off if I had been worrying about my DP in hospital and looking after the kids, keeping things going and looking after him, preparing for starting new training and because of all that hadn’t had 5 minutes to myself and then he had a wank.

The selfish bastard his priority should have been to give me an orgasm, not himself, because I haven’t had the time to do it myself.

You need an orgasm OP to release your stress.

Mydogmylife · 01/09/2021 18:59

@Serena1977

Picked up dh this morning from hospital. He's been in for 8 days (not covid). He had an emergency operation in which in had a cardiac arrest.

I have been so scared and was so relieved to have him home. DC 9 and 8 have been beside themselves too.

Just checked on him, he's in bed after his parents called to see him at lunch.

I'm still scared because of what happened and how poorly he was and now a bit angry and emotional.

Am i over reacting?

Yes

JustJustWhy · 01/09/2021 18:59

Oh leave him alone, poor wanker.

grapewine · 01/09/2021 19:00

Wanking relieves stress. It's definitely a thing.

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