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Original poster

Gobsmacked and shocked by DH

168 replies

Serena1977 · 01/09/2021 18:11

Picked up dh this morning from hospital. He's been in for 8 days (not covid). He had an emergency operation in which in had a cardiac arrest.

I have been so scared and was so relieved to have him home. DC 9 and 8 have been beside themselves too.

Just checked on him, he's in bed after his parents called to see him at lunch.

Went into his bedside table to change his toothbrush for his electric toothbrush and there was a handkerchief. I panicked because i thought he had been sick and was hiding it so I didn't panic. He admitted he had had a wank, he said to relax and get to sleep.

I'm still scared because of what happened and how poorly he was and now a bit angry and emotional.

I have been to hell and back too, keeping things going looking after dc, dealing with pils etc and tomorrow I start teacher training which i'm not in the right frame of mind for since he's been so poorly.

Am i over reacting?

OP posts:
isthismylifenow · 01/09/2021 18:21

What part of it makes you so upset? Because he made time for himself and you haven't been able to?
Because he's been ill and you're afraid something might happen because he's done something, er, physical or strenuous.

Purplewithred · 01/09/2021 18:21

Oh I have some sympathy for you OP, I think I'd be expecting to be all Florence Nightingale mopping his fevered brow while he languishes palely in bed - and there he is having a walk.

Well at least you know he's strong enough to deal with his parents etc

HerRoyalRisesAgain · 01/09/2021 18:22

Get a grip! the DH has already done that Wink

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stilldumdedumming · 01/09/2021 18:23

It is very scary to have your dh in hospital and you will have been feeling it too. My dp had an emergency hospital and a couple of months in hospital. I was exhausted and emotional. I think maybe this is skewing your reaction here.

Is it possible to see this is a good sign that he is recovering well. I would give anything for my dp to have enough drive to have a wank. It still eludes him almost two years on.

Your system is in overdrive and you are reacting to everything- hardly surprising. Try to do something calming (sounds patronising not meant to be).

DucksFlyTogether · 01/09/2021 18:23

The bloke nearly died, he is well aware of it I'm sure as are you. Leave him be, it was just a wank, surely he is allowed that small part of pleasure after that ordeal?

Bagelsandbrie · 01/09/2021 18:24

Surely you’d laugh about this…? It’s good he’s feeling well enough to even think about it! That’s how I’d see it anyway.

MrsRobbieHart · 01/09/2021 18:24

Man touched his own body.

I don’t get the issue.

You can have one too if you’re feeling hard done by?

happytoday73 · 01/09/2021 18:24

OP... 💐Are you worried that a week after a cardiac arrest anything that ups his heart rate may cause him to keel over again? If so..... I get it...
If not that reason then totally agree with all PP....

WorraLiberty · 01/09/2021 18:25

At least he waited until he got home

Tinacollada · 01/09/2021 18:25

Do you think he will wank himself into a medical misdemeanour?

Howshouldibehave · 01/09/2021 18:25

Can you explain why this makes you angry and emotional, @Serena1977?

Why did you instantly think he’d been sick? I would have probably assumed he’d used it to blow his nose!

Mariell · 01/09/2021 18:27

I can’t understand there being any kind of concern or reaction about this unless you are a very jealous person and think he was wanking and thinking about the nurses in hospital which is a bit of a stretch of the imagination!

Janaih · 01/09/2021 18:27

Bet it was a good wank. I assume its frowned upon in hospital.

ButYouGottaHaveASkillJeff · 01/09/2021 18:28

@WorraLiberty

At least he waited until he got home

😂 Hopefully!

Yeaemmm · 01/09/2021 18:28

What?
You’re angry and upset your husband touched his own penis?

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 01/09/2021 18:29

Can you explain a little bit more clearly what you’re gobsmacked and shocked by? I’m presuming not just that he had a wank because - well, it’s his body and he’s allowed, so I feel that I’m missing something?

Did the doctors say that he had to avoid sex/orgasm/exertion for a period of time?

IWantT0BreakFree · 01/09/2021 18:29

I'd be a bit grossed out by the wank rag left on the bedside table but that's about it.

Polkadots2021 · 01/09/2021 18:29

@Serena1977

Picked up dh this morning from hospital. He's been in for 8 days (not covid). He had an emergency operation in which in had a cardiac arrest.

I have been so scared and was so relieved to have him home. DC 9 and 8 have been beside themselves too.

Just checked on him, he's in bed after his parents called to see him at lunch.

Went into his bedside table to change his toothbrush for his electric toothbrush and there was a handkerchief. I panicked because i thought he had been sick and was hiding it so I didn't panic. He admitted he had had a wank, he said to relax and get to sleep.

I'm still scared because of what happened and how poorly he was and now a bit angry and emotional.

I have been to hell and back too, keeping things going looking after dc, dealing with pils etc and tomorrow I start teacher training which i'm not in the right frame of mind for since he's been so poorly.

Am i over reacting?

OP I'm a PT and biologically (as long as ok for his blood pressure) he is spot on - orgasms are brilliant for stress relief. It's just a basic biological function that carries a whole incredible range of physiological stress relieving benefits that will all be very useful to him after what he's been through. We have such a weird attitude to masturbating in our society. I'd go as far to say that it doesn't even have to be sexual, just used as a literal brilliantly effective means of rebalancing neurotransmitters and hormones etc and promoting great sleep.
Outfoxedbyrabbits · 01/09/2021 18:29

I think the PP asking what exactly about this is bothering you has asked a sensible question. Is it the masturbating full stop (in which case YABU), the tissue (which I would also have an issue with as I'd assume if he hadn't bothered to get out of bed to put it in the bin then he wouldn't have bothered to wash his hands either which is gross, although I suppose that isn't necessarily the case), is he pretending to be iller than he is while you're still running round ragged?

Imnothereforthedrama · 01/09/2021 18:30

The tissue I’d be annoyed about but considering he’s just got out of hospital I’d say the sign that he’s had a wank that he’s feeling better so actually I’d be quite pleased that he’s on the mend .
Relax op !

Skyla2005 · 01/09/2021 18:30

Your shocked he had a wank ? They do it as all the time and if he hadn't left the hanky you would be none the wiser !

IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 01/09/2021 18:30

Are you worried his heart can't take it?

Pantsomime · 01/09/2021 18:33

OP you’ve had some nice but some very unfeeling reactions here. You’ve been panicking he may well die and may be all weak and feeble after being in hospital. I think take it as a sign he is starting to recover.

Franklyfrost · 01/09/2021 18:34

Yes you’re over reacting. He can’t wank because you’re starting teacher training next week? Give him a break, he’s just got back from hospital. When he’s feeling better then tell him how hard it was for you to cope and ask for some recover time yourself. In the meanwhile do what your partner’s doing and relax the best you can.

vodkaredbullgirl · 01/09/2021 18:36

ffs he only had a wank, poor guy he was a deaths door now he is fine.

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