You have a list of practical things
- Have you made the appointment with the Heath insurance people yet? You desperately need outside support because at the moment it sounds like the only people you come into contact with are the DC (who don’t yet know what’s going on) and Him. So the only insight into this situation that you are getting is from Him. Can you see why that might only reflect his priorities?
Make getting an appointment in your diary an absolute priority. And don’t discuss it with him. Get a taxi if you have to.
- You said he would easily put you on the deeds. Find out how you legally start that process and what is involved and then ask him or better still hand him the paperwork.
- review your finances. What have you paid for. What does he pay for. Is it fair? Or does it need to change. Do you have savings, a pension?
- talk to citizens advice about your legal rights in this situation so that you know what they actually are. What benefits could you claim? What could you do about accommodation. They will be able to give you info or where to look next.
- ask gp for info about local services that help people in your situation, eg what help available for your DS if you split up or maybe some MN people can suggest. Talk to Women’s Aid? Or look at their website.
Even if everything he says is true, you cannot afford to ignore the vulnerabilities in your situation. I understand that you are hurting but at least research a back up plan or even a plan for going forward that protects you more than the current situation- which is entirely reliant on his continued good will into the long term.
You owe it to your two children to do that. They are dependent on you. It’s not enough to think/hope/pray that he will change his mind.
You need to at least research what your options are so that you can made informed decisions so that you can protect them as well as yourself.
Really they are your priority because legally he doesn’t have any responsibility for them at all.
He’s said very clearly a number of times that he doesn’t want a romantic relationship anymore. He’s even tried to persuade you that he said this months ago. When in fact it only landed on you last week.
Another concern is that you have said several times that you are seeing, talking to and getting on so much better with him since he made his announcement and that it is so much nicer.
So what was it like before? How long for? You seem to blame yourself for this, menopause, etc. But I’m betting you tried really hard to connect with him and were rebuffed. So why is it suddenly so nice now? How long can you rely on that continuing?
Make a list of the practical, financial, legal information you need to research and work your way though it but by bit every day.
You don’t have to act on it but you ought to have this information at your fingertips if the situation becomes unsustainable. Do this for your two DC.