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Original poster

This is really fucking awkward.

272 replies

LordOfTheThings · 31/08/2021 09:58

I've discovered a relationship between two work colleagues. She is widowed and he is married and I really wish I didn't fucking know anything about it. She is head of my department and I have regular meetings etc. Why do I feel embarrassed when it's not be doing anything wrong? This is excruciating.

OP posts:
NorthLodgeAvenue · 31/08/2021 15:37

Yes, OP you are entirely at fault here. You went into what you assumed was a professional setting andsearched for some equipment.
Unfortunately other equipment was in use at the time.
You now now have sex pictures in your grubby little mind instead of Mr Jones and Ms Smith being members of the teaching profession.

I'm thinking she will deliver a Twilight Session soon, possibly on the mind /body connection or something along the lines of Art therapy with a twist.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 31/08/2021 15:40

There's no need for troll-hunting, I pointed out the disparity with your oh-so-sad post first and how it progressed to sleazy and you don't like it.

I'm quite able to say what I mean too without pretending it's something else I meant and I took issue with your calling another poster names for no reason.

I'll leave you to it now.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 31/08/2021 15:55

In this case Say no evil. Speak no evil and Hear no evil. They’re both adults they get caught one and if not they’ve still got to explain themselves to their maker. Plus if he can cheat on his wife she can be damn sure he’ll cheat on her.

HoneyRose87 · 31/08/2021 15:59

This is very unprofessional, whatever they do out of their workplace, is up to them but not within a school environment.

On another note, I hope he washed his hands straight away 🤢

fruitbrewhaha · 31/08/2021 16:04

Report it OP. They were in there knowing the could get caught, it was part of the thrill. They made you part of their sordid sex game.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 31/08/2021 16:08

If it’d been a kid that walked in they could well have been facing criminal charges or at the very least a sacking.

Wouldn’t that come under indecent exposure.

Yes I know they were in a cupboard and it’s not like they were full on shagging on the play ground. However they still acted inappropriately where a child could have came in. Time and place comes to mind.
I despise disrespect.

MsTSwift · 31/08/2021 16:09

Probably most awkward conversation of my life with the wife of my flatmates boss. They were shagging (older man younger woman thing) she thought she was happily married with 3 under 5s. He was often at our flat. Met her at some work drinks. Just awful knowing this thing about a strangers like that they themselves don’t know.

theleafandnotthetree · 31/08/2021 16:09

@daisychain01

OP you need to take action. It's your duty.

From your description, you found two members of staff in a cupboard behaving inappropriately. They will know you saw them, so there is not going to be any surprise when you raise a formal complaint.

Ignore the 'mind your own business and get on with your job' posters - they are operating in a Mumsnet world not the real world where what you witnessed is going to be gross misconduct without a shadow of doubt. And because it's gross misconduct, it means it's serious enough for you to go through the official channels to get the matter resolved.

You can't just turn and walk away, not when minors could have made the discovery, not you.

I find the real world much more messy and nuanced than mumsnet world actually. I wouldnt consider the OP to have any duty to do anything other than to try and erase the mucky details fro her mind.

And as an aside, surely this kind of thing is not that uncommon, some people here are acting like this is unheard of. People fall in love and get up to stuff at work all the time (don't they?), the infidelity aspect isn't particularly relevant surely

ThanksItHasPockets · 31/08/2021 16:11

OP, you need to protect yourself here. When the affair comes out (and it will) they will try to take you down with them when it comes out that you knew.

The relationship is none of your business but the behaviour that you witness on site during business hours is. Check your school's whistleblowing policy as it may cover this situation and will give you a sense of the process of reporting.

Rogue1001 · 31/08/2021 16:13

I'm worried the @LordOfTheThings won't have sufficient glue sticks when the kids come back

cakewench · 31/08/2021 16:14

Saying 'discovered' in the OP doesn't really clarify that you 'walked in on' them in the cupboard. The vast majority of the responses for the first page are pretty spot on imo for just having found out about an affair. Walking in on them in the state of having said affair is something entirely different. ugh. I'd be mortified.

I'm really only responding though because we don't have any glue sticks either. Hmm

wizzywig · 31/08/2021 16:15

Bring a packet if Cadburys fingers and fudge on the training days. Offer them 'a finger' in a loud voice

PineapplePanda · 31/08/2021 16:16

@wizzywig

Bring a packet if Cadburys fingers and fudge on the training days. Offer them 'a finger' in a loud voice
🤣🤣🤣
Awwlookatmybabyspider · 31/08/2021 16:17

I’m actually eating a fudge now, if all the bleeding things 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 31/08/2021 16:18

Of not if

frerecoler · 31/08/2021 16:21

Oh my goodness!!!! Am cringing for you OP.
Not sure what I would do in your situation at all

nettie434 · 31/08/2021 16:23

I am quite an expert on this, not I hasten to add because I have been involved myself but I have been put into a similar position by colleagues but have seen less than you so to speak!

Your head of department is actually in a more difficult position than you. She must worry you will tell someone. I disagree that you should let the man's wife know. You have no knowledge about their relationship.

As you are about to leave, I'd keep quiet and leave them to it. If they are this indiscreet, someone else will find out sooner or later.

CustardySergeant · 31/08/2021 16:24

@wizzywig

Bring a packet if Cadburys fingers and fudge on the training days. Offer them 'a finger' in a loud voice
Brilliant! PLEASE do that OP. Grin
Bluntness100 · 31/08/2021 16:26

This is just odd. If you’d walked in on two peoooe having sex in a cupboard then you’d start a thread on that and say that’s what was embarrassing. Not just the fact they were seeing each other and rhen drop in you saw them being sexually intimate as crudely as possible.

You even post like you’re all excited to be getting some attention

topcat2014 · 31/08/2021 16:33

Well, I worked in an office in the Cotswolds, and two staff started 'seeing' each other.

The 'husband' turned up in the landrover, and he had a shotgun licence - so not always easy to be so 'neutral' about this type of stuff.

Also, (another company) one of my staff started an affair with one of our directors - when I was just management but not a director.

So - again - it is a shame to have to even know about this stuff.

PhilCornwall1 · 31/08/2021 16:33

I don't think it's up to me to say anything to them, it's up to them but I actually don't think either of them will say a thing.

On reflection, I think it's important you do bring this up with your boss. The opening line goes something like this...

"About that pay rise...."

HereForThis · 31/08/2021 16:38

Two shitbags doing what shitbags do! Fingering in the cupboard at work and in a school environment? How disgusting and low - they're probably made for each other.

Poor man's wife (and children, if they have any) though.

rainbowruthie · 31/08/2021 16:44

@wizzywig

Bring a packet if Cadburys fingers and fudge on the training days. Offer them 'a finger' in a loud voice
Genius! Please do this Grin But more seriously bloody hell what a difficult position to be in, no idea what I would do
shesellsseacats · 31/08/2021 16:44

@Bluntness100

This is just odd. If you’d walked in on two peoooe having sex in a cupboard then you’d start a thread on that and say that’s what was embarrassing. Not just the fact they were seeing each other and rhen drop in you saw them being sexually intimate as crudely as possible.

You even post like you’re all excited to be getting some attention

Must you, Bluntness?
PineapplePanda · 31/08/2021 16:54

@PhilCornwall1

I don't think it's up to me to say anything to them, it's up to them but I actually don't think either of them will say a thing.

On reflection, I think it's important you do bring this up with your boss. The opening line goes something like this...

"About that pay rise...."

"I can't quite put my finger on it...but I think I deserve a pay rise"