Page 7 | DS waiting to meet with “friends”

Homeofthe · 22/08/2021 12:04

Also you'll probably find as he gets more involved in cadets that he's never home, the endless activities and camps he can go on, weeknights, weekends. There's going to be much driving to and from pick ups for you

Eralos · 22/08/2021 12:27

Yabu massively

Terhou · 22/08/2021 12:29

Thanks everyone. It’s not the drive at all. It’s not knowing the kids.

I know my concerns come from where we live.

I know you've decided to take him, but to satisfy my curiosity - what does where you live have to do with not knowing the kids?

Ducksurprise · 22/08/2021 12:40

@Lilyargin

It’s great you’re taking him, OP, it’s the right decision. I mean this kindly, but you do sound over-protective; you put the word friends in inverted commas just because you haven’t met them - (when I saw the title of the thread I thought it was about wanting to meet people who’d been unkind to him) - and at 13 he needs to be taught how to use a bus?

Rural busses are either hopeless or non existent which is why it seems weird that he doesn't know but it's just not a lifeskill we come across. For example my kids know how to walk down an unlit road with no pavements which less rural kids don't.

DemBonesDemBones · 22/08/2021 13:52

I would say he's old enough if that's your worry. Can you not just take a book and go to a cafe/have a potter?

DominicRaabsTravelAgent · 22/08/2021 14:14

I've just told our little cadet some of the details of your post, including that he's been to summer camp and met these children and that you were reluctant to let him go today to meet up with the friends he's made.

She said "she's just let him go away with them for 2 weeks and now suddenly they're not ok? If she thinks the other kids in cadets would be so bad, why did she let him go to the camp?"

She may have a point

Original poster

condensationwindows · 22/08/2021 14:55

@DominicRaabsTravelAgent

I've just told our little cadet some of the details of your post, including that he's been to summer camp and met these children and that you were reluctant to let him go today to meet up with the friends he's made.

She said "she's just let him go away with them for 2 weeks and now suddenly they're not ok? If she thinks the other kids in cadets would be so bad, why did she let him go to the camp?"

She may have a point

Thank you.

It wasn't 2 weeks.

It was 5 days non residential.

OP posts:

BakewellGin1 · 22/08/2021 15:03

I would let him go.

FWIW my son is 12... He is spending today at a large shopping centre, bowling and having lunch with three friends who he knows through football. I don't know the kids well or any of the parents but I'm trusting him to go, not act stupidly and keep in touch with me now and again.

He knows he has to be gain trust to be allowed out to places like this alone and behave appropriately.

Original poster

condensationwindows · 22/08/2021 15:05

@BakewellGin1

I would let him go.

FWIW my son is 12... He is spending today at a large shopping centre, bowling and having lunch with three friends who he knows through football. I don't know the kids well or any of the parents but I'm trusting him to go, not act stupidly and keep in touch with me now and again.

He knows he has to be gain trust to be allowed out to places like this alone and behave appropriately.

Thank you. I hope he has a lovely time.

OP posts:

Alwayswonderedwhy · 22/08/2021 15:08

Wow. Poor kid. I regularly drive my 3dc to various places to meet friends. 25 mins really isn't that far and if you live rurally I guess buses aren't that often.

EarringsandLipstick · 22/08/2021 15:10

[quote JEdgarHoover]@EarringsandLipstick I told you to cheer up because, as per usual, you’re intent on knocking the OP. She’s given some positive updates but you still have to be negative and question her parenting.[/quote]
What on Earth are you on about? 'As usual' - what?

And no, I didn't knock her or her parenting style. I gave advice which she can ignore as she wishes. In fact other posters said more or less the same.

It's just a viewpoint. You sound like you need to relax. (And be a little less obsessed with me 😀)

EarringsandLipstick · 22/08/2021 15:10

Thanks @JimandPam 💐

JEdgarHoover · 22/08/2021 15:18

@EarringsandLipstick Okay, I’ll save those words for you. Next time you’re nasty to me on a thread (as you have been before) I’ll regurgitate them right back at you. Have a lovely day

EarringsandLipstick · 22/08/2021 15:26

@JEdgarHoover

What is your problem with me? I really can't think what I've done to upset you. I don't recognise your name (maybe you've name changed) but I'm confident I've never deliberately set out to upset or be nasty to another poster (unlike you with your posts targeted at me)

I've almost never had a post deleted; if I'm doing something wrong, just report my posts & let MN deal with it.

Disagreeing is not being nasty to someone.

I don't, however, think it's fair to follow someone around a separate thread, making unwarranted comments towards them.

I don't want to derail the thread further so I'll leave it there. I genuinely hope you've a nice day.

Original poster

condensationwindows · 22/08/2021 15:42

Please don't fall out with each other.

I've got a bit of thick skin. I've read everything that's been said. Some strange accusations made in this thread but I have read and thank everyone.

I probably worded things wrongly. It was NEVER about driving DS. He goes into town most weekends to meet people and yes that's been people he's been throughout school with. We live in an area where everyone knows everyone and things can be on Facebook before you've made it home. Going into the City was a completely different ball game for me but we are here now and I'm collecting him in an hour when he will likely be full of stories.

It may not be a big thing to go to the city in your household but it is in ours.

As I said it was never about driving but I can see my wording says that. It's meeting people he doesn't really know.

Thanks everyone.

OP posts:

BoredZelda · 22/08/2021 15:43

Sorry if it came over that I wasn’t willing to drive. Of course I am.
Probably came over that way because you said you weren’t prepared to drive there and back or stay in the city.

I know my concerns come from where we live.
So it’s the big bad city kids you have a problem with? I don’t recall my city based ATC squadron being full of badly behaved kids.

Halliabaloo · 22/08/2021 15:46

I live rurally too. If you are going to begrudge your teenagers 25 minute drives you need to move. I would expect a neurotypical 13 year old to be able to get public transport to the nearest city, have a good time with friends and call/text you if they need help. Don’t you trust his judgement?

CurlyMango · 22/08/2021 20:24

I would also do it. You are being unfair.

5zeds · 23/08/2021 11:20

If you are going to begrudge your teenagers 25 minute drives you need to move this amazes me. Seriously your children are born into a family that lives either rurally or somewhere more urban. You do not have to do anything to “make up” for where who or what their family is.

Polkadots2021 · 23/08/2021 11:56

@condensationwindows

DS is in the cadets. He joined at Easter and loves it. The main units are in the City which is about a 25 minute drive from where we live. The unit DS attends is smaller, in our local town which is 10 minutes away.

There was a week long camp in the summer holidays which he went to and made new friends from the bigger unit and some of the other smaller units combined. He loved it and they are now in touch over x box, WhatsApp etc.

DS came to me late last night and asked me to take him to the City to meet with his friends. I’ve never met these cadets before.

I said no as I don’t have anything to do in the city and I am not prepared to drive 25 minutes home to go back for him later in the day. I have things to do today although nothing that couldn’t wait.

He is upset he can’t go.

He was 13 in May.

Can I ask at what age you would do this for your kids? Am I being over protective? We live in a rural village so he does rely on us taking him places, in and out of school etc so I am aware he doesn’t get as much freedom as children who are from the city or even our local town get.

OP you chose to live in a tiny village far from anywhere that requires a car to get places. I really think you can manage a 25minute drive.

Polkadots2021 · 23/08/2021 11:58

And it'll be an odd life if meeting people from a city is talked about as if it is a crazy big deal to him. It's just a city up the road.

BradPittsLeftTit · 23/08/2021 12:33

@Polkadots2021 she did manage the drive yesterday as she updated several times.

5zeds · 23/08/2021 13:29

And it'll be an odd life if meeting people from a city is talked about as if it is a crazy big deal to him. it isn’t “meeting city folk” it’s asking your mum to drive for a couple of hours so you can see your friends that’s the issue. There are plenty of people who live in the city who don’t feel they must ferry their children out of the city at the weekend. What is this idea that children need to kick around in a town centre or they are deprived

DS waiting to meet with “friends”

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