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Original poster

Will my little boy get bullied!!??

132 replies

Whyarenousernamesavailable · 21/08/2021 08:14

My little boy is about to start reception year at school, the school says he needs wellies to leave in the shed in the playground for when it gets muddy. He picked his own … pink sparkly Frozen wellies!! I absolutely love that he smashes those gender stereotypes, and while he was at nursery I didn’t care about him playing with dolls or wanting pink things …. But now he’s starting school im hesitant …. Kids can be horrible … do you think he’ll get bullied? It is reception class so the kids are only 4 / 5 but there will be older kids around the school yard

OP posts:

Piggy42 · 21/08/2021 08:16

I would suggest he keeps his favourite sparkly frozen wellies for home, so they don’t get lost and get some others for school. The kids may not notice, but some may be horrible to him.

Ligglepiggle · 21/08/2021 08:17

I don’t think anyone will care at this age, a lot of kids in reception at my DS school come in older siblings hand me downs which are pink when they are boys etc, let him enjoy his wellies

User135792468 · 21/08/2021 08:18

I think he’ll be fine. Reception is very different to say year 3. Just think, if it didn’t bother you at nursery, it’ll be that same type of child going up with him (as in, if it didn’t bother them in June, it won’t in September).

LivingLaVidaBabyShower · 21/08/2021 08:18

@Piggy42

I would suggest he keeps his favourite sparkly frozen wellies for home, so they don’t get lost and get some others for school. The kids may not notice, but some may be horrible to him.

This.

Get him a "boring pair no one will take" for school and save sparkles for the weekend

Vallmo47 · 21/08/2021 08:18

@Piggy42 Agree. What a lovely mum you are. Some bland ones for school are best and the sparkly, amazing ones for home so they don’t get lost Op.

Hoppinggreen · 21/08/2021 08:18

I would love to say he should wear them and if anyone says anything he shouldn’t care, report to the teacher etc etc etc BUT I think that unfortunately it might be better if he keeps them for home.

RevealTheHiddenBeach · 21/08/2021 08:20

Send in the wellies! It's 2021. Make sure he knows that boys and girls can like pink (so he has the words to put in a sentence). He should not have to hide his shoe preferences to maintain a shitty status quo. There will always be kids who say mean stuff but that could be about anything. Just make sure his name is in them!

choosername1234 · 21/08/2021 08:21

My DS wore a Spider-Man dress in his own birthday party when he was in reception. Only 1 child asked (not nastily) why he was wearing a dress. I think he will be fine in reception but not beyond that

sealedwithX · 21/08/2021 08:21

My ds loves the color pink but takes green wellies to school (reception year).

Kids can be mean and I didn't want things off on a bad start.

Shame it has to be this way.

Hangingtrousers · 21/08/2021 08:25

All these mum's saying boys should keep the sparkles at home.. ffs this is why children are mean. If everyone just wore what they wanted to wear then the world would he a much happier place for all!
Op I would send my lb in with his wellies and teach him phases to say if anyone is mean. Don't teach him at 5 to hide who he is already!

Ducksurprise · 21/08/2021 08:29

@Piggy42

I would suggest he keeps his favourite sparkly frozen wellies for home, so they don’t get lost and get some others for school. The kids may not notice, but some may be horrible to him.

Would you say the same to a girl that wanted army wellies, or wellies with trucks??

Honestly this is so depressing and a dangerous perpetuation of an outdated view on masculinity. Having sparkly pink wellies doesn't mean anything.

Let him wear them, it's parents that are less accepting not children

AnonymousCheerleader · 21/08/2021 08:29

I felt the same about my son when he started reception last year.

He still loves pink (I've just bought him pink bedding). He's never mentioned anyone saying anything negative about it.

Prokupatuscrakedatus · 21/08/2021 08:29

How about starting on a 'No bullying' pathway from the start?

Not for colour choices, names, accents, adress, backgrounds etc.?
At that age they learn this behaviour largely from their parents - so they would need to be included.

Ducksurprise · 21/08/2021 08:31

@sealedwithX

My ds loves the color pink but takes green wellies to school (reception year).

Kids can be mean and I didn't want things off on a bad start.

Shame it has to be this way.

But why? Why is pink not suitable for those who have a willy?

CasaBonita · 21/08/2021 08:33

He'll probably get away with it in reception but by year one kids can start to get really bitchy. My son was laughed at (by boys) for taking a pinky/purple coloured water bottle in

GintyMcGinty · 21/08/2021 08:34

At age 4/5. He will be fine.

Other children won't be damaged by adult stereotypes and prejudices for a few years yet.

NovacDino · 21/08/2021 08:35

In my experience as a teacher, kids in reception and KS1, on the whole, don't really pay much attention to this sort of thing. They are very accepting and where there are curious comments, we can have a conversation about it and then move on. I had a boy in one of my classes who always dressed up as Elsa when it was non school uniform days. None of his classmates cared because they all accepted this was what made him happy. One of the reasons I love teaching this age group.

Ducksurprise · 21/08/2021 08:35

Sorry me again but its really irritated me, boys can't wear pink this continues to not playing with 'girls' toys such as kitchens, and babies, which turns into men thinking all this stuff is below them.

I doesn't have to be this way.

BichonFrizz · 21/08/2021 08:35

Oh gosh I'm torn. Because my instinct is to just buy some boring ones for school.

Thing is if we all keep hiding the pink sparkly wellies at home we will never address the shitty sexist homophobic crap that's starting from the day they begin school.

BertieBotts · 21/08/2021 08:35

At his age it will be fine and so many more people are over the whole gender nonsense these days than want to stick to it rigidly. So even if someone does say something it's likely the teacher, other kids etc will counter with "No, pink is for everyone!"

Ducksurprise · 21/08/2021 08:39

@CasaBonita

He'll probably get away with it in reception but by year one kids can start to get really bitchy. My son was laughed at (by boys) for taking a pinky/purple coloured water bottle in

But this never changes, they will laugh because its the wrong avenger, or its got the wrong spout, or its old or its got diggers on it....

allthegoodusernameshavegone · 21/08/2021 08:39

It’s adults making it an issue, let him wear them if he gets any comments let him learn how to deal with them, I thought things were changing, let the kids lead the way in quashing these ridiculous stereotypes.

OchNoAgain · 21/08/2021 08:41

My DS is the same - always loved pink, sequins, sparkles etc. As he's got slightly older (now 5.5) it has tailed off very slightly.

I have explained to him that some people think pink sparkly things are girls to wear, but I think that's nonsense and as long as he likes it that's the main thing. I said if anyone said anything he should just say that he likes it and boys and girls can choose to wear whatever they like, it doesn't change who they are. Not sure how much he took in but I'm trying to go with that messaging. So far he's not had any comments.

He is naturally becoming more aware of others' opinions though, at a recent holiday club he didn't want to wear a sun hat as 'no one else was wearing a sun hat'. Thats the first time I've ever heard him say anything like that. So I think it's just going to be a natural awareness and desire to fit in as he gets older. I'd love him to have to confidence to wear anything he wants, but I do recognise the desire to conform is powerful and understandable.

My DD (3.5) is a different story. She seems to think gender stereotypes are rigid rules that cannot be broken I don't really understand it, but she is already totally signed up to 'girls things' and 'boys things' without any encouragement from us.

CasaBonita · 21/08/2021 08:42

I guess it all depends on how strongly you feel that children should be able to express themselves in whatever way they want versus 'conforming' at school to save themselves being ridiculed. Sad but true.

Winemewhynot · 21/08/2021 08:43

If he’s confident and able to challenge unkind comments then send them, if not maybe not. Like you say it’s not the reception aged kids it’s the older ones that’s the worry.

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