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Original poster

Will my little boy get bullied!!??

132 replies

Whyarenousernamesavailable · 21/08/2021 08:14

My little boy is about to start reception year at school, the school says he needs wellies to leave in the shed in the playground for when it gets muddy. He picked his own … pink sparkly Frozen wellies!! I absolutely love that he smashes those gender stereotypes, and while he was at nursery I didn’t care about him playing with dolls or wanting pink things …. But now he’s starting school im hesitant …. Kids can be horrible … do you think he’ll get bullied? It is reception class so the kids are only 4 / 5 but there will be older kids around the school yard Confused

OP posts:
Justgettingbye · 21/08/2021 10:47

My DD is starting school and I'm going for cheap playing ones tbh I wonder how often they actually wear them. The uniform list is long enough!

Peanutsandchilli · 21/08/2021 10:48

My daughter is just about to start reception and would think his wellies were fantastic, but I can see what you're worried about. It's a shame but some children will be products of their parents' prejudices. I think it'd be fine the other way around, if he were a girl and had 'boys' wellies, but I'd rather not take the risk of a boy in 'girls' wellies. Kids can be cruel.

Lily78123 · 21/08/2021 10:49

Yes, keep the sparkly wellies for home and get more boring ones for school. It’s just asking for trouble.

MeredithGreyishblue · 21/08/2021 10:53

There is a lovely boy in DS's class who, from reception, has liked "girls'" things. Has a fluffy backpack, unicorn things, likes glittery crafts etc. He is utterly confident in his likes and now, going into y6, still so. The kids have been completely accepting of him from day one. Not really questioned it. He's friends with the "cool kid" sporty boys as well as some girls. He's just done his thing.

I think parents have probably commented (we have) but not in a horrible way. More a "good for him" and "He's such a nice kid" kind of way.

It isn't a dead cert that they'll get bullied at all!

Sparklingbrook · 21/08/2021 10:53

When your first child is starting Reception I think it’s hard not to get all excited about buying lunchboxes, water bottles, wellies and all the other paraphernalia and looking at all the different stuff. It’s a novelty.
But as time goes on (and there’s YEARS of this)and especially with subsequent DCs you find plain , cheap and practical is just quicker and easier.

It works well until the High School years anyway.

NotQuiteUsual · 21/08/2021 10:55

It'll be fine. My son goes to school in a 'rough' area in a school that apparently has bullying. He only had comments about his long hair in the first week at school, no one ever mentioned his frozen lunchbox and when he wore girls t-shirts on non uniform days he got compliments from his friends. He very much is part of the girls social groups and allowing him to express his interests helped him find his friends quicker. It's important you let kids express themselves, or they won't find like minded children to bond with as easily.

rainbowrescue · 21/08/2021 10:57

I have encountered this with hats and coats and I put the fear of them getting lost into him and it seems to work. 'They're so special, we wouldn't want anyone to accidentally take them'. That seemed to work when he wanted to take a novelty sparkly shark sun hat to school!

itsgettingwierd · 21/08/2021 11:01

@Hangingtrousers

All these mum's saying boys should keep the sparkles at home.. ffs this is why children are mean. If everyone just wore what they wanted to wear then the world would he a much happier place for all! Op I would send my lb in with his wellies and teach him phases to say if anyone is mean. Don't teach him at 5 to hide who he is already!
Totally agree.

Your ds is t the problem for wanting sparkly frozen wellies (lobe his taste now as I'd love pink sparkly wellies Grin).

The problem is the world expecting others to curtail their choices and behaviour to stop being bullied.

itsgettingwierd · 21/08/2021 11:02

@NotQuiteUsual

It'll be fine. My son goes to school in a 'rough' area in a school that apparently has bullying. He only had comments about his long hair in the first week at school, no one ever mentioned his frozen lunchbox and when he wore girls t-shirts on non uniform days he got compliments from his friends. He very much is part of the girls social groups and allowing him to express his interests helped him find his friends quicker. It's important you let kids express themselves, or they won't find like minded children to bond with as easily.
Excellent post.
FusionChefGeoff · 21/08/2021 11:05

Send in the wellies!!!! It's such a great chance to start the conversation plus also reception age might not even care / notice.

AtomHeartMotherOfGod · 21/08/2021 11:06

Maybe, but things are changing. My DS was teased in school for liking the colour fairy books in Y1, but not bullied; his other qualities ensured he had good friends all the way through. His leaver hoodie was bright pink and hot pink inside; nothing said and he looks awesome in it anyway.

I worked Y3 last year; during an art lesson one or two boys said their favourite colour was pink and it was greeted positively. Another time, two of the boys wore (in an exploratory not in a teasing way) some of the girls hair accessories; nothing said - fun.

Working in Y1 another time, no eyelids batted when a typically 'boys' boy' chose to colour a Disney Princess sheet and used pink and feathers to decorate a large section of his superhero mask.

Obviously these are all hideous stereotypes I've picked out but it's to say that children - thank goodness - are not party to them so much anymore. I think we do our children a disservice to not allow them to express themselves however they want because otherwise how is it ever going to be seen as truly nothing to get worked up over?

In 2021, no-one should be bothered at all by whatever society thinks preferences like these imply a person is... I'm presuming, gay/ trans, so let's stamp out prejudice early by not highlighting gender stereotypes to our children.

Galassia · 21/08/2021 11:12

I never took wellies to school and neither did my children! It just wasn’t a requirement.

Never mind the boy/girl pink/blue issue I would be more concerned about the playground being waterlogged!

Nocutenamesleft · 21/08/2021 11:14

I met a little boy the other day who was crying. He seemed to be on his own at the park. I said oh my gosh. Are you ok? He said the other boys are making fun of me. I’ve got nail polish on. But they won’t play with me. (To be fair he was soooooo upset. This took him about 7 mins to get that out). It was W boiling hot day. He had these thick black gloves on. To hide his nails

I remember feeling sooooo sad. This poor little boy wanted to express how he was. By wearing nail varnish and kids were being so mean to him. He was slightly older. But it was the older boys. Not him

So I’m in two minds. Before this. I’d say yes. Do it! Then I think no.

I think we should stand up for what we want. I told the boy who cares if he wants to wear nail polish. The reason the boys were making fun was because they didn’t understand it and people are horrible about things they don’t understand. His grandmother turned up then and said this had been going on for months.

We need normal voices to change the view. No one outstanding ever challenged the norm. It was always just someone.

I’m leaning towards him just taking the wellies.

alphabetspagetti · 21/08/2021 11:15

DD had wellies with tractors on in reception. She did get some questions from some children why she had wellies with tractors on and I think her response was just that she liked tractors. As she was completely comfortable with her choice and didn't see it as a thing to be embarrassed about it as a trail blazing statement, I think that that just ended the conversation.

Nocutenamesleft · 21/08/2021 11:16

@Galassia

I never took wellies to school and neither did my children! It just wasn’t a requirement.

Never mind the boy/girl pink/blue issue I would be more concerned about the playground being waterlogged!

My children aren’t in infant and they had to take wellies. It’s been happening for a while.
PennyWus · 21/08/2021 11:16

I think that is great. I think you will find the teaching staff very supportive of his awesome welly choice!

I genuinely don't think his classmates will be bothered. Possibly the older kids might say something. You teach him to say, "they're not girls wellies, silly. They're MY wellies. And they are the best wellies EVER. "

Abraxan · 21/08/2021 11:16

I work in infants and tbh most children are very accepting at this age. Any issues we've ever had had come from parents, not the children. Having a pink water bottle or a sparkly bag when a boy happens in most classes each year in my experience.

The only reason I wouldn't send those wellies in are because they are likely to walk. Better to send it very boring, plain coloured boots which are named inside of both boots. The names still won't stop something disappearing but it does make it easier to return if they go missing and subsequently come back into school. He is likely to be upset I'd a fancy pair of boots go missing, less so if it's a cheap plain coloured pair, ime.

GreyhoundG1rl · 21/08/2021 11:19

His grandmother turned up then and said this had been going on for months.
Poor little sod. I wonder why they kept letting him go to the park alone (at 7!) knowing he was being bullied, though? All very well declaring that your child can be whatever they want to be, but you don't just dump them in at the deep end and ignore what happens next?

Sparklingbrook · 21/08/2021 11:21

@Galassia

I never took wellies to school and neither did my children! It just wasn’t a requirement.

Never mind the boy/girl pink/blue issue I would be more concerned about the playground being waterlogged!

They were a requirement for forest school (once a week) and they had to wear them to be allowed on the school field when it snowed. Playground was fine. This was 18 years ago for DC1 so not a new thing.
karmakameleon · 21/08/2021 11:23

My DS is nine now and still chooses the pink/sparkly stuff. We had a very frank conversation about it when he chose stationary recently and he said although most people think pink is for girls now, no one has ever made a thing of his pink stuff at school (he doesn’t have much though as most things need to be regulation navy) and he’s happy to be different. I wouldn’t make it a ‘thing’ and if anyone does comment you can always buy plain ones later.

Kanaloa · 21/08/2021 11:23

@Galassia

I never took wellies to school and neither did my children! It just wasn’t a requirement.

Never mind the boy/girl pink/blue issue I would be more concerned about the playground being waterlogged!

I don’t think the playground will be waterlogged - my kids school now asks for wellies because a lot of parents complained about school shoes becoming muddy.

If he wants to take the wellies then let him, at his age I don’t think kids tend to care too much. But I wouldn’t be making a thing of him ‘smashing gender stereotypes.’ He’s just wearing wellies and playing with dolls, it’s not something that needs to be made a thing out of.

Abraxan · 21/08/2021 11:23

@Galassia

I never took wellies to school and neither did my children! It just wasn’t a requirement.

Never mind the boy/girl pink/blue issue I would be more concerned about the playground being waterlogged!

It's so the children can go out in all weathers, without needing to remember wellies each day. Some schools also ask for waterproofs to be sent in too. It's easier to have them there all the time, rather than relying on parents to bring them whenever there is the chance of rain.

The amount of children who come to school without appropriate footwear or coats for wet weather is huge! It's a real pain when it's raining over playtime and you find a quarter of the class have only got material trainers on and no jacket. They come back in soaked.

countrytown · 21/08/2021 11:24

My son often takes a pink water bottle, he's never said anything & often chooses that colour from the selection.

@Galassia did your dc not fo forest school?

MancMum2000 · 21/08/2021 11:24

We had this issue recently, my little 5 year old DS loves all the pink sparkly things. Unfortunately his best friend’s dickhead parents have already conditioned him to think those things are only for girls. He’s already shat all over DS’s love for unicorns and so when DS asked to wear some pink sparkly shoes to show this friend at holiday club it really broke my heart to say no, but I felt like I needed to protect him from being made fun of Sad

Abraxan · 21/08/2021 11:25

did your dc not fo forest school?

To be fair, most schools don't do forest school.