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Will my little boy get bullied!!??

132 replies

Whyarenousernamesavailable · 21/08/2021 08:14

My little boy is about to start reception year at school, the school says he needs wellies to leave in the shed in the playground for when it gets muddy. He picked his own … pink sparkly Frozen wellies!! I absolutely love that he smashes those gender stereotypes, and while he was at nursery I didn’t care about him playing with dolls or wanting pink things …. But now he’s starting school im hesitant …. Kids can be horrible … do you think he’ll get bullied? It is reception class so the kids are only 4 / 5 but there will be older kids around the school yard Confused

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 21/08/2021 09:45

@Givemebackmylilo

Most the people on this thread are the issue.

Such a shame that even adults are encouraging a child to hide things

Not at all I think people should wear what they want and I encourage my children to feel the same Unfortunately I can’t control what every other parent does so it is naive to think that a 5 year old boy in pink Frozen wellies won’t get some negative comments at school. If he doesn’t care then great but it would be ridiculous to think that nobody will react
diddl · 21/08/2021 09:45

They are Frozen themed wellies though, notpink/ glittery for the sake of it. (not that that should matter)

Isn't a young boy even allowed to like stuff from the film??

GreyhoundG1rl · 21/08/2021 09:48

How about starting on a 'No bullying' pathway from the start?
What does this mean, exactly? Nobody condones / welcomes bullying.
Do you really think eradicating it is as simple as saying No, I don't want this?
Everybody's been missing a trick, in that case Confused

Balonzette · 21/08/2021 09:49

I agree with a pp who said it's a difficult decision we have to make as parents. Do we let our kid risk being judged and/or laughed at in order to make a stand against gender norms? Personally I wouldn't, but I don't think that means people who do are wrong.

To me, letting kids choose their own things is a lovely idea, and I let me son choose his own things. But, as a parent my desire to protect my child from any kind of sadness - including bullying and ridicule - means that I'd sacrifice the idea of smashing gender norms to protect him from any risk of being picked on.

As a kid I was bullied so this is just something so important to me - and I also know that small kids like SO many things! If my son was drawn towards pink sparkly wellies, I'd never tell him he could not have them. I would, however, excitedly find a less obviously girly pair and if I found another nice pair with something else he liked on them, and showed excitement about them, then he would probably also get excited and decide he wanted the new ones! If the pink sparkly wellies were the ONLY thing he liked then it would be different, but most kids like sooo many things. They can easily be distracted, it's not like they'd massively miss out from not getting the first thing they picked out.

I will never teach my children that pink is only for girls and blue only for boys, but I would try to gently guide my son away from an item that was very OTT and which I thought would get him laughed at. But this is just my way of protecting my son. Other parents might just say yes, wear the sparkly pink boots! And that would be their way of doing what's best for their kid, and that's fine too. I don't think there is a right or wrong, there's only different.

But having worked with young children for many years, I don't think it's correct that little children wouldn't notice something like this. They very often do, and if anything, the younger the kid, the funnier it is when a boy wears something traditionally for girls!

PhoneCaseSpotty · 21/08/2021 09:49

My DD is 7 just starting year 3.

There's a boy who wears his older sisters hand-me-down cardigans, he liked them more than jumpers and his mum saw little point in buy brand new jumpers for the sake of it.

My DD prefers the jumpers and wears those.

Nobody from school has said a thing about either of them. We had to have blue or green wellies but I bet nobody would have cared if either had been in a colour associated with the opposite gender.

He'll be fine, I'm sure Smile

WorraLiberty · 21/08/2021 09:52

I absolutely love that he smashes those gender stereotypes

Except he doesn't, because he's just another 4 year old boy who's chosen a pair of wellies he prefers 🙄

If he gets teased, he'll no doubt 'go off them' and ask for a different pair, so just wait and see how it goes.

MaryBoBary · 21/08/2021 09:54

@Balonzette you have articulated my opinion and parenting style perfectly! I couldn't agree more.

AuntMargo · 21/08/2021 09:56

Leave them at home, although its the modern way to say let him be who he wants, kids of his age are still very observant and whilst some will take no notice you can guarantee more than one will tell him they are girls wellies.

SD1978 · 21/08/2021 10:01

Personally, I'd tell him that more school suitable coloured Welles are needed, and to keep his 'good' Welles for home.

Givemebackmylilo · 21/08/2021 10:03

@Hoppinggreen

Would you also tell your daughter to dress appropriately so a man doesn't look?

Because it's the same concept,

Thesearmsofmine · 21/08/2021 10:09

Let him wear the wellies he likes and fill him with the confidence to do that.
Honestly I have 3 boys and let them choose what they want to play with and wear, my son who plays a very typically male sport with other boys happily takes his pink sparkly water bottle to each session. One son has long hair and has had a couple of occasions where boys have been mean, he just thinks those boys are a bit stupid.

Sparklingbrook · 21/08/2021 10:09

I wouldn’t have even thought of letting my DSs ‘choose’ school wellies. I’d have just picked the cheapest pair while they weren’t with me. They hardly wear them in my experience.

OhRene · 21/08/2021 10:12

My son just chose a sparkly, pretty ring in a shop where his sisters were picking jewellery.
He's 9 and as "macho" as they come with his "hanging out with the lads" playing footie, loving the trackies and trainers, PS4 and Fortnite obsession (though none are these are exclusive to males). He is very confident in himself. Doesn't take any crap and when I asked him if he was okay with wearing something normally for girls he said he was allowed to like pretty things too. I also got an eye roll as if to say, "grow up, mum!". It's what I've always drilled in to him so I shouldn't be surprised it's stuck.

Let your son take his wellies and give him the tools to defend himself against bullies. A good comeback or two and reassurance that he's allowed to like what he wants and the other children are being silly if they disagree.

Hoppinggreen · 21/08/2021 10:14

[quote Givemebackmylilo]@Hoppinggreen

Would you also tell your daughter to dress appropriately so a man doesn't look?

Because it's the same concept, [/quote]
No, I would let her wear what she wants. Just as I would let my son wear pink wellies if he wanted to.
I might warn them that they get negative reactions though but ultimately it would be their decision
It’s not the same concept at all - I simply recognise that SOME men letch at young girls (although unfortunately this doesn’t seem clothing dependent as DD has had unwanted attention while in her knee length school uniform) and some children will comment on a boy in a frozen wellies.
If they chose to wear what they want I would support them if they came home upset due to comments etc but never tell them they shouldn’t

Camomila · 21/08/2021 10:19

As long as you can afford another pair if he goes off them I would let him wear the sparkly wellies to school.

DS1 had a paw patrol wooly hat/gloves in reception which some other kids called babyish and he stopped wanting to wear - I just kept it for home and he used his plain stuff at school instead. I wouldn't have bought a paw patrol winter coat though as I predicted that would happen (hats and gloves I always have a few pairs anyway for when they get soggy)

SimonJT · 21/08/2021 10:19

In our home we don’t live our lives by the rules of bullies, nor do I encourage my son to live his life by the rules of bullies.

My son likes the pink glittery ones, so thats what hes had each year, well, this year it will be purple glittery as I wasn’t organised enough and his size had sold out.

I’m not sure why a child saying they are girls wellies is a problem, its not like they’re saying their murders wellies or donald trumps.

ThePersonFromPorlock · 21/08/2021 10:22

Aw, send the wellies in. He chose them because he likes them. Not sure he's actively smashing gender stereotypes at that age, but he should wear what he likes. It's just a colour. My eldest DS has always liked a bit of bling and thinks anybody who criticises him is the one with the problem.

WestendVBroadway · 21/08/2021 10:28

Let him wear his wellies, the othe kids won't notice. The adults on the other hand will silently (or loudly) judge him.
We need to put a stop to bloody gender stereotyping.

daisybrown37 · 21/08/2021 10:33

My main concern would be if they got lost. I go for cheap at school and nothing they would be upset if it disappeared.

If the boots got lost would he be upset?

Tippexy · 21/08/2021 10:35

Whether they’re for a boy or a girl, pink sparkly wellies are not really appropriate for school uniform. Buy black, navy or dark green for school.

OnTheBenchOfDoom · 21/08/2021 10:35

This is what I loved about my sons' primary, a male teacher in every year group including foundation and ks1. It was a 3 form entry. They all had a pale pink shirt or pink ties and broke that pink is for girls stereotype from day one.

How about we just accept that children like pink or camouflage or both. I volunteer in a primary school and we try and stomp this nonsense out as soon as it starts.

Auntienumber8 · 21/08/2021 10:35

DS had long hair for a few months when he was about 9 and he wanted me to put it in bunches which we did. I didn’t immediately assume he was smashing gender stereotypes.

Don’t make an issue out if it and don’t use your child to try and prove your enlightened credentials. So let him wear what he wants. Neither encourage or discourage.

OnTheBenchOfDoom · 21/08/2021 10:37

@Tippexy

Whether they’re for a boy or a girl, pink sparkly wellies are not really appropriate for school uniform. Buy black, navy or dark green for school.
That is like saying they can't have a lilac coat or bag. It isn't part of the uniform rules so bring on the pink sparkly wellies.
Sparklingbrook · 21/08/2021 10:39

@Tippexy

Whether they’re for a boy or a girl, pink sparkly wellies are not really appropriate for school uniform. Buy black, navy or dark green for school.
Yes I agree. I wouldn’t have bought the glittery Frozen wellies for school for a girl or boy. 🤷‍♀️ Plain and cheap as stuff gets lost and they grow out of them so quickly. It’s just school. Home wellies- anything goes.
KittenKong · 21/08/2021 10:42

Wellies are generally a bit of a waste of money. DS would take them into school, never wear them and we’d end up donating them. I hated wellies when I was little (although I did demand stripey ones - and plimsoles too - as everyone else had boring old black ones. I was most miffed that the teacher wrote my name in them).

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