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Original poster

Will my little boy get bullied!!??

132 replies

Whyarenousernamesavailable · 21/08/2021 08:14

My little boy is about to start reception year at school, the school says he needs wellies to leave in the shed in the playground for when it gets muddy. He picked his own … pink sparkly Frozen wellies!! I absolutely love that he smashes those gender stereotypes, and while he was at nursery I didn’t care about him playing with dolls or wanting pink things …. But now he’s starting school im hesitant …. Kids can be horrible … do you think he’ll get bullied? It is reception class so the kids are only 4 / 5 but there will be older kids around the school yard Confused

OP posts:
NeverDropYourMoonCup · 21/08/2021 08:44

I'd expect the nice wellies to be nicked from the place they're kept by half term, to be honest. Especially if parents can go into the area to help with hanging coats and bookbags up.

browneyesblue · 21/08/2021 08:45

I felt the same way when DS1 started school, but I let him take his sparkly pink unicorn. It was fine and none of the other kids cared.

DS is now about to start Y7, and still likes shiny, pretty things alongside more stereotypical ‘boy’ things. He has had the odd comment as he has gotten older, nothing nasty though. He shrugs it off, and just says “I like pink/unicorns/rainbows.” He genuinely isn’t bothered.

Let him take the wellies if he wants to.

Sparklingbrook · 21/08/2021 08:45

I think get some boring cheap ones for school. You’ll be relaxing then mmm fairly regularly anyway.

Sparklingbrook · 21/08/2021 08:45

Replacing them

NeverMetANiceOne · 21/08/2021 08:46

Op I would send my lb in with his wellies and teach him phases to say if anyone is mean. Don't teach him at 5 to hide who he is already!

This a million times over!

Similar situation with my son, I do not want to teach him be has to change himself for the sake of others. See it as an opportunity to teach him resilience perhaps?

Nix32 · 21/08/2021 08:48

Reception teacher here - please send them in! We are experts at being enthusiastic for all children's passions and when children see us encouraging boys with their pink sparkly wellies and girls with their dinosaur wellies, it gives them confidence to express themselves. I have never encountered Reception children commenting on each other's belongings and the older children just think they're cute, whatever they're wearing.

NerrSnerr · 21/08/2021 08:50

I would let him wear them to school but I would replace them if he wants them to be replaced during the year.

manhattenrain · 21/08/2021 08:50

I think you should let him wear them and see how it goes. The more young kids see boys wearing 'girl clothes' the more normal and socially acceptable it will become! Maybe another little boy will see his boots and want a pair like them.Smile

Skyeheather · 21/08/2021 08:51

@NeverDropYourMoonCup

I'd expect the nice wellies to be nicked from the place they're kept by half term, to be honest. Especially if parents can go into the area to help with hanging coats and bookbags up.
Never send anything that you would be upset if it went missing into school. This is why all my son's uniform comes from ASDA/Tesco.

I've just bought my son a really nice Paw Patrol Coat at his request and I've told him that this is his out of school coat only and that he'll be wearing the plain coat his Nan got him for school. I just don't trust it not to go missing even with his name in it.

JRKismyhero · 21/08/2021 08:52

Do it op. We had a little boy at my kids nursery who had frozen backpack etc and if anything it made him more popular because the kids love it

TheFabledSnake · 21/08/2021 08:53

My daughter's friend is a little boy who adores pink and purple. For his birthday, he got a very colourful scooter. He likes wearing makeup. No one makes fun of him.
If you're happy that the wellies stay at school then let him have them.

MrsLargeEmbodied · 21/08/2021 08:55

if you are worried suggest he leaves them at home for home use

3WildOnes · 21/08/2021 08:55

I think this really depends where you live. In one of the areas (leafy middle class liberal suburb of London) we lived in no one would have batted an eye. I remember one boy coming to school on mufti day in a unicorn onesie when they must have been around y3. In another area we lived in (conservative Surrey) children and parents would probably have commented and not kindly.

Elisheva · 21/08/2021 08:56

I would send them, but I would also prepare him for silly comments and give him some responses.
My son chose pink Peppa pig slippers for nursery, and one of the other children said ‘Those are girl’s slippers’, not in an unkind way, just as an observation. My son thought that he had made a mistake, was embarrassed and hid his slippers.
Once we worked out what had happened we could talk about it, and the nursery staff also talked about it and it was fine. But in hindsight I wish I’d told him about the potential for comments and armed him with some responses.

Tisha0 · 21/08/2021 09:02

My DS has always been told that there are no boy or girl colours, and whatever people like is up to them. He recently was the only boy wearing a princess outfit for a dress up day at preschool (although he did take his builder outfit for when they were playing trucks as he didn’t want to rip his skirt).

I used to play this group in the car - all their songs are great for kids. DS confidently tells people there are no boy or girl colours, and that he can wear whatever he wants, as he will always be a boy!

m.youtube.com/watch?v=BTMvsWR0ZS8

DottySpottyZigzag · 21/08/2021 09:02

I have taught boys in Y1/2 who wear leggings and sparkly sandals, do sewing projects and have Barbie or pink smiggle pencil cases, pens etc. Children that young haven't internalised all the stereotypes we have as adults!

KittenKong · 21/08/2021 09:07

If he is cool that other kids might take the Mickey, then let him - or leave it for a day or so to see how the land lies (he might decide that he wants the same as his best mate or class).

It’s hard to know if when he is a teen, being remembered as the ‘boy who wore pink sparkly wellies’ will amuse or embarrass him (but hey, all kids have something that we as parents have done that has mortally offended them).

Of course in Scotland... the new wacky rules could have bonkers conversations now.

Sneezecakesmama · 21/08/2021 09:18

Never found a kid that age be nasty about pink stuff but older kids not so. I think 7 they get funny

MaryBoBary · 21/08/2021 09:20

I completely agree that he should be able to wear whatever wellies he wants. BUT as someone who works with reception and Year 1 children, I wouldn't send him in them to school. Of course it's wrong, it's only a colour, doesn't prove anything etc but do you want your son to be the one ostracised to make a point? I'd wait a year or 2 until he is confident and articulate enough to defend himself to anyone questioning or mocking. It breaks my heart to imagine a little 4 year old being upset by other children. And it will happen. There will be questions and other children sniggering or laughing. It shouldn't be the case but unfortunately that's the society we live in.

MaryBoBary · 21/08/2021 09:22

I suppose it may depend on where you are. Reading through there are lots of teachers saying their children wouldn't notice. But I am just being honest in saying at my school, it would be noticed and commented on by other children.

MaryBoBary · 21/08/2021 09:23

AND (sorry for multiple comments) it depends on your child and how confident and outgoing they are. If they are naturally shy and introverted, no matter how many "lines" you give them in response, they may not find the courage to say them/stand up for themselves.

Bentoforthehorde · 21/08/2021 09:31

Ds2 went through a princess phase at 2/3, he wore princess dresses and tiaras a few times on the school run and I only remember 1 comment from another child.
Ds3 wears his sisters hand me downs, his nursery wellies are red polkadot Minnie mouse. His current shoes are also red Minnie mouse ones that he chose himself from Clarks.
All 3 of my boys have long hair, past their shoulders and I've never bothered about gendered clothing/toys etc.

My dad used to make comments about gendered things until I said "oh yes I forgot that wearing pink makes your penis fall off" that stopped comments, other than their hair. My parents are oddly fixated on that.

You know your area better than us, but they're just wellies.

Givemebackmylilo · 21/08/2021 09:33

Most the people on this thread are the issue.

Such a shame that even adults are encouraging a child to hide things

Bentoforthehorde · 21/08/2021 09:35

Fwiw I live on a housing estate and kids go to a bog standard primary, not a hip/fancy area or anything.

GintyMcGinty · 21/08/2021 09:37

Its a bit ironic that the theme of Frozen is probably one of the most empowering of all the Disney Films.

Yet we worry that boys might get bullied for liking it.