Will my little boy get bullied!!??

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My little boy is about to start reception year at school, the school says he needs wellies to leave in the shed in the playground for when it gets muddy. He picked his own … pink sparkly Frozen wellies!! I absolutely love that he smashes those gender stereotypes, and while he was at nursery I didn’t care about him playing with dolls or wanting pink things …. But now he’s starting school im hesitant …. Kids can be horrible … do you think he’ll get bullied? It is reception class so the kids are only 4 / 5 but there will be older kids around the school yard

Oh yes a cagoule was required too along with the wellies. Forgot all about that.

It really depends on your local area. My local area is not so progressive on this kind of thing. Wee ones can be pretty traditional in the views. Just parental attitudes and lack of exposure to barrier breaking. Your area may be more receptive to change.

I'd not be putting my child up as the sacrificial lamb though. Choose carefully.

To be fair, most schools don't do forest school.

I would assume most have heard of it though? Just think it's odd to assume wellies are only needed because the playground is waterlogged!

I'd not be putting my child up as the sacrificial lamb though. Choose carefully.

I sort of agree with this in a way as well. It’s easy to say we need to ‘challenge’ these stereotypes, but I don’t think I’d want my child challenging them if we lived in an area where he would likely be met with ridicule. Like I said, I do think it’s fine at this age as they tend not to notice, but I would worry an older child wearing pink sparkly wellies would be picked on.

My children are all near to being 30 so no we didn’t have forest school and they wore their normal shoes in winter the same as I did when I was a child.

I wasn’t knocking that children have to where wellies nowadays I was just surprised as it’s new to me!

Much as I'd want my child to break any stereotype, I'd want them to have some idea of what they were doing
and understand there might be push back. Children in this area would, on the whole, (I understand I'm generalising) would not be merciful and perceptions can stick.

times have changed. I was at primary in the 80s & 90s & we did PE in our underwear!

My youngest had a pair of pink unicorn wellies for reception, it was never an issue. In reception the other kids don't know enough to bully as they're all new to it.

I wouldn't have allowed him to take them in y2/3 to avoid any bullying

I don’t think he’d get bullied. My son is starting reception too and if he saw someone with sparkly wellies he’d come home asking for the same ones!

Reception kids won't care. Older children tend to be the ones to point out things like that, maybe around 8/9. Let him wear them, good to normalise it from a young age.

Why set him up for it when you could easily avoid. Tell him school ones need to be a dark colour like the uniform and keep pink for home

The little boy next door to us wore a pink parka with furry hood all through reception. No one batted an eyelid.

Reception kids are too young to care.

I think bullying is unlikely but he may get asked questions so you may just need to have a chat with him about social norms and that some people think boys and girls can only where certain colours but actually that's not true. It's a good opportunity to discuss it early on. I've had to do this with my two at nursery. My DD loves paw patrol but was told she was "wearing a boy top" recently, she found it funny some people thought paw patrol was just for boys. My older DD loved Thomas trains at 4 and her favourite colour was blue so she wore lots of Thomas clothes and was asked if she was a boy or a girl at nursery, so we talked about it too. It did affect her more and she went through a very pink frilly phase for a few years but is back to blue. Neither were bullied but some kids are brought up with very stereotypical ideas that need gentle challenging when your kid then brings those ideas home.

I can understand comments about 'sacrificial lambs' and 'perceptions stick' but I would say again... what perceptions? That they might be something other than a straight down the line heterosexual man? And again I say why is this even a problem in 2021?

Rates of suicide for trans and gay people are higher than the average and it's because these ideas are allowed to persist... that there's something 'wrong' with you, rather than everyone who has an issue with it.

Allow children chances to show their support for 'alternative choices' so the bullies realise they aren't scoring any points by picking on those that make them.

@MolyHolyGuacamole

Reception kids won't care. Older children tend to be the ones to point out things like that, maybe around 8/9. Let him wear them, good to normalise it from a young age.

Exactly!The reception kids will grow into 8/9 year olds. If they see this as normal from the start there would be no issues with such things. Mind you that doesn't stop the bigotry from parents rubbing off onto them

My ds favourite color is pinkandpurple... he also didn’t want his hair cut, so he kept it long blond and curly. Until the October half term in reception. The teacher pulled me to one side and apologised that other boys had called him a girl and stopped him from entering the boys toilet. The school dealt with it, but it made him want a haircut, so I gave him one.

Nobody commented on his ‘girls’ coat though. In face he hasn’t had any comments at all about his ‘girls’ clothing choices until in the park recently a kid asked him why he was wearing girls shoes. He didn’t give an answer, but we discusstit after and agreed the thing to say is ‘they’re not girl’s shoes, they’re my shoes’.
I haven’t felt like priming him with what to say ahead of time. If I had, the concept of ‘girls stuff’ would have entered into his conscience 2 years earlier than needed.

I wonder if he would still love pinkandpurple now if I had been preparing him for comments in reception?

When it’s raining, my ds5 happily puts up his frozen umbrella on the walk home from school. This shouldn’t even be a discussion these days, kids should be able to wear what they like without worrying what others think especially at such a tender age. I think it’s great that he’s chosen pink sparkly wellies, good for him!

I honestly don't even see any issues in my ds age group.

Ds loves purple. His leavers jumper was purple.

He has a purple thermos flask. And when it rains he's more than happy to take my umbrella which is pink and green.

In fact I brought a plain black one as well recently so we could have one each - and he still prefers using mine 🤷‍♀️🤣

Oh and my ds is 17!

It’s easy to say it isn’t a problem though - of course I also think it’s fine for a boy to wear pink sparkly boots. However, it isn’t the norm, and some children will pick on anyone who is different. It’s easy to say it doesn’t matter, anyone can wear anything, but there’s no point saying nobody will notice because in some places it’s highly likely it will be noticed and pointed out. There’s the world as it should be and the world as it is, and in the world as it is a boy wearing pink sparkly frozen boots might attract attention or be picked on.

And obviously I don’t agree with bullying or picking on someone for how the dress or present, but that doesn’t change the fact that others will do it.

Awww my son is like this. He is going to be going into year 1 in September and still says pink is his favourite colour and is fascinated by my make up and and hair things. I don't let him choose clothes aimed at girls though as I would worry he would get picked on. To be honest, he hasn't been picked on at all this year apart from telling me that some other boys said he was wearing girls' pants - I checked and they had a bright pink band but not remotely girly. The other boys had seen them when he was bending over.

So long as they fit, who cares... they are wellies, in my experience they all end up muddy and brown, and when you get them to take home, there may be one pink and sparkly and one orange one... in different sizes...

The trouble with 'protecting' children by saying they can't wear pink/whatever is you're doing exactly what you're afraid a bully will do. You can't prevent a boy from being made to feel bad for wearing pink... by telling him he can't wear pink. You're still telling him that he's wrong for liking what he likes. And I don't think hearing that from your mum is less harmful than from another four year old.